Monday, June 30, 2008

Journey

Last on the line and guess what? It's another from that most hated of Studios, yes the Asylum. It's come to be tradition to review this so called films here... I don't really know why I keep putting myself through these. So lets get into it, here's...


Journey to the Center of the Earth
Journey is about a team, apparently testing a new teleport system becoming trapped in the strange world beneath the Earth's crust and the attempt to rescue them... That's really about it.

Yes shock and surprise, an Asylum flick inspired by Jewels Vern coming out just over a week before the Brendan Fraser film of the same name and well, same everything else. The movie is obviously an attempt to capitalize on those who do not follow the movie industry too well, and will think this film is the one with Fraser. It's pretty much the Asylum's MO and it's the only way these people keep making enough money to stay in business.

I feel for these poor folk, thinking they are in for a movie
with some depth and an A-List actor... Because they are in store for the same tripe as every other Asylum flick. Stiff acting, bad CGI, and horrible audio quality where the background noise constantly drowns out the dialog.

Every character is a cliched stock character, out of the four 'soldiers' trapped in the Center are the 'Natural Born Leader', the 'Brainy Smart One', the 'Bitch who Gains a Heart', and of course the 'Coward Newbie'. Each of the actresses seem to be bored through most of the film, completely phoning it in with the clear picture they are in this fim simply to fluff their acting resume.

But maybe I'm being too harsh... No, no I'm not. Because I could deal with bad effects but the acting in this film is what truley kills the movie. It's not a bad plot (mostly because it was Jewels Vern's), people lost in a strange and amazing world, attacked by Dinosaurs, giant spiders, and weird plant monsters... But these girls don't even react to it. They just stare and give an unimpressed glance to everything... This fact actually throws me off when they DO show some actual fear.

And I don't want to be sexist, but I was weirded out by the fact that they sent a team entirely of women to test this teleporter, which was supposed to take them somewhere in Germany, fully armed with automatic weaponry. Are they attacking germany? Or were they carrying weapons in case the Teleport failed and they needed to fight dinosaurs?

Okay now I'm just being mean.

The story is just infuriating, filled with no emotion, bad psudo-science, and a brainy glasses wearing soldier that somehow is an expert in Paleontology, geology, botany, and Entomology. No joke, the girl guesstimates the size of a giant spider by the size of the web strands...

If you see this movie after it releases July 1st, get as far away from it as you can.

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