Yo Joe

G.I. JOE
The Rise of Cobra

Now, before I even start in on this movie, let me discuss a bit on it's origin. In the mid-60s, after the phenomenal success of Barbie, Hasbro decided to make a 'doll for boys'. But what molded soft plastic toy would little boys want? Well an action man of course, a man's man, a soldier. There was born the original 12 inch G.I. Joe 'Action Figures'. Meant to represent the four arms of the military, and little else.

But that's not the toys WE remember playing with, nor the one we're here to speak on today. No we're talking the Real American Hero relaunch that came with a television show in the early 80's. Now the toys were not just soldiers, but an elite counter-terrorism squad fighting against the evil of Cobra, which just happened to BE a Terrorist organization.

Here we found a story. In essence, it was simply to create a 'reason' for the toys, but it grew from there. Over 20 years of revivals and revisions, it's hit every form of media from Television, to Comics, to several animated feature length films. It, like most things from the 80s that now sits in the essence of retro pop culture, is ingrained into 20-30 something's collective minds.

So, as is the Rule of Retro, if it's 20 years old, it's time to capitalize on the market. The kids of the 80s are now at the age where they have expendable income. They made a movie, following in the footsteps of another 80s property that started as a toy line turned Saturday Morning Cartoon. (Transformers, duh?)

When I saw the trailers oh so long ago, my initial reaction was bad. I had only two real complaints, but large ones. First were the Accelerator Suits. Far be it from me for knocking a movie based off a 30 minute Accessories Not Included commercial, but they looked so alien in this movie. It almost felt like they were making a G.I. Joe Halo crossover featuring two Master Chiefs... It was petty, but it felt as if it would detract from the style of the original material.

My second? What the hell was Marlon Wayne doing in the film? Now I do not hate Marlon, in fact I think he's a really funny comedic actor... when used right. The problem seems that he finds himself in movies he has no right to be in, where his style of comedy comes off more annoying than funny... Again it may seem petty, but putting a near slap stick comedian in an Action Movie seemed... off.

I was all ready to sit down to this and rip it a new one, but here's the thing... I liked it. It was a fun movie. And while the Power Armor annoyed me somewhat, they are used in only one scene and then never used again. Marlon Wayne's character was also a surprise, as he did not come off as a slapstick comedy side kick.

The FEEL of G.I. Joe is intact (aside from the aforementioned power armor scene) with each battle filled with explosions and hectic stunts. The characters are very likable on both sides with a few exceptions... Snake Eyes and White Shadow of course at the top of the list there, their story in the background to the main still comes off strong without detracting from the progression of the plot.

And then there's Cobra. I loved this, in the TV Series, Cobra Commander was, to be blunt, a joke. His raspy screeching voice, and tendency to never come out ahead or have any real tactical intelligence aside from screaming 'Attack' at the top of his lungs hardly made him an intimidating figure. Here he is sadistic, hate filled, and all of what you would expect from a Cartoon Villain given a PG-13 bump.

That's not to say I enjoyed it all. The first fifteen or so minutes of introduction to the actual Joes, they rattle off all the G.I. Joe tag lines in rapid succession, Realistic Hair and Kung Fu Grip, all American hero, and Knowing is Half the Battle are wedged into the dialogue. The Baroness, while at the beginning of the movie feels faithfully re-created, gets her character trashed due to the forced love story...

As well as Duke of all characters. He feels rather... bland. The only real characterization coming from the love story that was shoe horned into the movie. He added no real depth to the film aside from 'romantic action lead'. This was a shame since in the TV series he's all but the main character.

Though I still enjoyed this film. It, like Transformers, was able to be taken from campy 80s cartoon and turned into a nice Action Flick. And I must admit, I am glad to hear they will be making a sequel. Go ahead and give it a look when it comes out on the 3rd.