Journey

Last on the line and guess what? It's another from that most hated of Studios, yes the Asylum. It's come to be tradition to review this so called films here... I don't really know why I keep putting myself through these. So lets get into it, here's...

Journey to the Center of the Earth

Journey is about a team, apparently testing a new teleport system becoming trapped in the strange world beneath the Earth's crust and the attempt to rescue them... That's really about it.

Yes shock and surprise, an Asylum flick inspired by Jewels Vern coming out just over a week before the Brendan Fraser film of the same name and well, same everything else. The movie is obviously an attempt to capitalize on those who do not follow the movie industry too well, and will think this film is the one with Fraser. It's pretty much the Asylum's MO and it's the only way these people keep making enough money to stay in business.

I feel for these poor folk, thinking they are in for a movie with some depth and an A-List actor... Because they are in store for the same tripe as every other Asylum flick. Stiff acting, bad CGI, and horrible audio quality where the background noise constantly drowns out the dialog.

Every character is a cliched stock character, out of the four 'soldiers' trapped in the Center are the 'Natural Born Leader', the 'Brainy Smart One', the 'Bitch who Gains a Heart', and of course the 'Coward Newbie'. Each of the actresses seem to be bored through most of the film, completely phoning it in with the clear picture they are in this fim simply to fluff their acting resume.

But maybe I'm being too harsh... No, no I'm not. Because I could deal with bad effects but the acting in this film is what truley kills the movie. It's not a bad plot (mostly because it was Jewels Vern's), people lost in a strange and amazing world, attacked by Dinosaurs, giant spiders, and weird plant monsters... But these girls don't even react to it. They just stare and give an unimpressed glance to everything... This fact actually throws me off when they DO show some actual fear.

And I don't want to be sexist, but I was weirded out by the fact that they sent a team entirely of women to test this teleporter, which was supposed to take them somewhere in Germany, fully armed with automatic weaponry. Are they attacking germany? Or were they carrying weapons in case the Teleport failed and they needed to fight dinosaurs?

Okay now I'm just being mean.

The story is just infuriating, filled with no emotion, bad psudo-science, and a brainy glasses wearing soldier that somehow is an expert in Paleontology, geology, botany, and Entomology. No joke, the girl guesstimates the size of a giant spider by the size of the web strands...

If you see this movie after it releases July 1st, get as far away from it as you can.

Drilling Taylor

Next movie...

Drillbit Taylor

Drillbit Taylor opened at $10,309,986 it's first weekend, and went on to make $32,862,104 nationally and $48,959,326 world wide, pretty respectable.

The film is about three High School freshman, the target of bullying, in attempts to free themselves of the torment of their bully they hire a man, Drillbit Taylor, to be their personal body guard.

When I saw trailers for this film I was worried it would be a lowbrow comedy... But I have to say it's a very good film. Owen Wilson continues to shine in the way of wit and charisma that he has come to be known for. The film retains a high note in it's delivery of laughs, and never sinks to slapstick for a gag.

I recommend it to anybody looking for a good laugh, and of course Owen Wilson fans. Drillbit Taylor releases on DVD July 1st

AdVantage

Second down on the list, lets skip the chit chat and get right to it.

Vantage Point

Vantage point opened strongly doing $22,874,936 on it's first weekend, going on to make $72,266,306 national, and making an impressive $78,468,915 world wide.

Vantage Point takes place in a 23 minute period in which the president of the US is shot during a peace summit in Spain. The film shows the same period of time through six distinctive yet interlocking perspectives...

This movie is quite remarkable... With each new perspective more and more of the story starts to unfold, leaving the audience trying to piece everything together. Its amazingly well done and I must compliment the filmmakers for pulling it off in such a cohesive way. This type of movie could easily turn into a mesh of confusion and lose audiences. But every turn grabs you in this picture.

It has action, suspense, drama, and quite an amazing cast. I suggest everyone pick it up when it releases on July 1st

Super Stupor

It's Monday and that means it's movie day. I may have to rethink my update schedule as it's hard to watch and review up to five movies in one day. I find myself not wanting to watch movies when I get them simply because I fear I won't have anything for Monday, and I dislike sitting on a review. I may go back to a random schedule again. But for now lets move on to the first movie of the day...

Superhero Movie

Superhero Movie opened at $9,510,297 and went on to make $25,837,000 nationally and $57,585,720 world wide. I honestly can say I do not understand how it made that much.

Superhero Movie follows Rick Riker, a boy bitten by a genetically engineered Dragonfly and given super powers, and parodies all the big Superhero films made in the past years...

We have here yet another in the long list of [Genre] Movie Parodies, of course all spawning off of Scary Movie... Actually if you want to get technical they may be all spawned from Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th as it did come first... But thats just splitting hairs.

I really don't understand how [Genre] Movies continue to make money, each one continues it's attempt to be like the Airplane or Naked Gun movies, but never do it... Yet they still keep pumping them out. Already they have another one coming called Disaster Movie, spoofing movies like The Incredible Hulk and Juno, movies released just THIS year.

Superhero Movie, like the rest of these movies is filled with crude humor, sight gags, and all around the lowest base of comedy. It's tolerable though and even managed to geta few chuckles out of me. Most will be put off by the film but those who enjoy the other Parody films will be entertained.

Superhero Movie releases on DVD July 1st.

Certainly could be

Third on the list of four, but will be the last for today. The Bridges will have to wait as I just don't have the time right now. But lets move on to the movie now...

Definitely Maybe

Definitely Maybe opened with $9,764,270 it's first weekend, going on to make $32,013,120 nationally and $53,330,314 world wide.'

The story is that of a divorced man, William Hayes (Reynold), telling his daughter the true story of hos he met her mother, and realizes that by telling the old story, there may be a new beginning.

I am of course, a Ryan Reynolds fan, I like the guy and love to see him in a leading role, and unlike Chaos Theory this movie was not underwhelming. It was very good. A touching romantic comedy that adds a little originality to an old method, by not letting us know right off the bat who the lead will end up with...

It was funny, witty, and in the end touching. All the right ingredients for a flick like this. The acting was wonderful, which is not surprising considering this film has quite a surprising amount of A-List stars.

Men don't be afraid to watch this flick if your girlfriend suggests it, hell, I say get it even if she doesn't want to see it, it's a great film and thats all there is to it. Definitely -Maybe releases on DVD Tuesday June 24th

Doctor is in

Keep on moving with these one after the other, here we come with number two on the list...

Charlie Bartlett

Charlie Bartlett opened with $1,836,256 it's first weekend, going on to make $3,950,984 national and $4,723,357, completely failing to make back it's 12 million dollar budget. In my mind this is a complete shame.

Charlie Bartlet is about a boy, Charlie, privileged and upper class, but unable to keep himself from being thrown out of every Private School. He eventually must go to public school... He simply wants to be liked by everyone, and soon starts delivering psychological advice and medication to the student body...This quickly makes him the most popular kid in school... But he must learn what is the right thing to do with this responsibility.

This movie is quite honestly brilliant. It is one of the most clever and downright funny comedies I have seen in quite some time. It's a movie that shows the problems of fitting in in school and taking responsibility of your own life as oppose to simply following.

I must say that Anton Yelchin (Charlie Bartlett) is immensely entertaining to watch, especially playing off a great like Robert Downey Jr.

It's a great movie and it's a shame that it was not received better in theaters. I suggest it to anyone looking for a great intelligent comedy. Charlie Bartlett releases on DVD Tuesday June 24th.

Future

So here we are on Monday, update day... I'm gonna try my hardest to get all these movies reviewed today... But I might not be able to review the Bridges. But for now, first up on the list is...

Futurama
The Beast with a Billion Backs!

The Beast with a Billion Backs is the second in the line up of four scheduled Futurama straight to DVD films, the first of course being Bender's Big Score. As it's direct to DVD and not available at the time of writing there are no numbers to be listed.

The Beast with a Billion Back takes place a month after the previous film in a rare case of direct continuity from an animated TV show of this nature, leaving a large tear in the fabric of the universe... What lays beyond the tear is a planet sized tentacle monster, with it's eye set upon out universe!

It's always odd seeing an animated TV show get a feature length, since you're so used to everything wrapping up in thirty minutes, getting two hours of material is very different. But this is a great film for Futurama fans, more of the same laughs, jokes, and unexpected sci-fi jokes.

Definitely see it is you were a fan of the series, if you weren't I'd suggest at least a single viewing. It has a lot of laughs, and a lot of rather amazing animation from a direct to DVD film. The Beast with a Billion Backs releases Tuesday June 24th.

Rewinding

So heres number two for the day and what I will consider my Monday update (unless I do one later today.) I figured it would be better to do the review now as opposed to tomorrow, where I'll probably be too tired to bother, so here is...

Be King Rewind

Be Kind Rewind opened in 808 theaters it's opening weekend and 810 total... It brought in $4,050,655 the first weekend, topping out at $11,175,164 national and $17,040,551 world wide.

The movie is about two men, Mike (Def) who works in a small self owned rental store and Jerry (Black) his best friend. When Jerry is magnetized while trying to sabotage the electrical power plant next to his home and erases the tape, the two must recreate the films themselves...

This movie is pretty decent, which is a shame really. When I first heard about this film it looked more than just decent, it looked great. It looked like a film filmed with pop culture and movie industry... But most of the recreation scenes go by so fast, theres nothing but a sight gag to take from it.

But all in all the movie is very good, Mos and Jack play well off each other with Black's usual outlandish personality contrasting well with Def's calm and quiet attitude.

It's a competent comedy with more than a few laughs and a very good cast, just don't expect anything spectacular when you pick it up. Suggested to fans of Jack Black and Mos Def, and anyone looking for a decent comedy. Be Kind Rewind releases June 17th...

Theories

A bit later than I thought I would be when getting around to this bit better late than never. Expect a review of Be Kind Rewind either late tonight, or mid day Monday. For now I'm reviewing...

Chaos Theory

Chaos Theory did $240,476 in theaters, which may seem like a very small number, but it had a release of about 11 theaters in the US, and no world wide release.

The story follows the life of Frank Allen (Reynolds) a man who's life is set by schedule, that is until one day a small change throws his entire life through a loop. Now foregoing his meticulously planned life he throws every choice to random chance, and embraces Chaos.

I was expecting more of this film, quite honestly. When I saw the trailers I was actually excited, as I'm a huge Ryan Reynolds fan and love to see him in leads. His performance is great, but the story around it seems lacking. I found myself becoming distracted easily from the film, having to rewind to catch parts I had missed.

The movie is not bad though, it's a decent dark comedy, and releases June 17th. I suggest it to hardcore Reynolds fans.

Trick or Treat

I'm actually working on Monday, so there might be two updates tomorrow, or one update tomorrow and one mid day Monday. But for now, bit of a random movie, bit of an older one too... But I felt like reviewing it.

Halloween

Halloween opened strong with $26,362,367 made it's opening weekend, it went on to make $58,272,029 national and $78,301,528 world wide. Considering the film only costed 15 million to make, it's actually pretty impressive.

The movie is the retelling of John Carpenter's classic slasher film of the same name. It follows the life of Micheal Myers, a disturbed young boy who kills his older sister on Halloween night... He spends fifteen years in a mental hospital before breaking out to search for his baby sister.

I remember when I saw House of a Thousand Corpses, the credits rolled, and I was beside myself. I paused for a moment, rolling the film around in my head for a bit before coming to the conclusion that Rob Zombie should never be allowed to make Movies. I said the same about Devil's rejects... To me Zombie's films seemed to be filled with graphic and disturbing imagery without real reason... I've seen attempts at adding some form of meaning to the relentless gore... But it always seems drowned out, muddled...

It actually comes to a shock to me how tame Halloween is. I went in expecting horrific imagery, disturbing deaths, and shocking murders. What is in the movie is no more than what one would expect to find in a slasher film... A few stabs here and there, and mostly off screen.

I feel like I'm being unfair, so let me get back on track. This movie is a 'reimaging' of Micheal Myer's story, those expecting a simple remake should steer clear, as the first forty minutes of the film deal with Myers' past and time in the Mental institution, and unfortunately, it's the only decent part of the film.

The new material really does catch you, draws you into the story of what Micheal is, and what he becomes, sadly shortly after he escapes and the movie moves from original material to remake it falls apart, becoming bland and boring. The killings are nothing spectacular, the constant screams were irritating, and the attempts to strike fear or worry for the characters failed, since we spent so little time with them compared to Micheal.

All the characters feel one dimensional except for Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell). Everyone else feels ripped out of a stereotype ranging from ditzy teen to scumbag redneck.

The film is not bad though, don't get me wrong, it's just not good. There are many many better slasher flicks available, like the original Halloween... I suggest this really only to people who have nothing better to watch, and then only if it's on TV.

Incredible

Ah now this was a movie I have been wanting to see for ages, and yet it never even crossed my mind to review it... I just came back from the Midnight Showing so it's still fresh off the reels! It is none other than...

The Incredible
HULK

As it literally released but a few hours ago at the time of writing this there are no numbers, be sure to check back Monday for them.
EDIT: Numbers in and The Incredible Hulk smashed the Box Office with $55,414,050 it's first weekend

The Incredible Hulk is about Bruce Banner, who five years previous to the movie had an accident while preforming an experiment on himself... Now whenever he is under stress or angry he becomes incredibly strong and dangerous monster... Bruce finds himself ever searching for a cure while evading the US Government, who want to use it as a weapon.

The last time we saw our giant green friend was in the 2003 attempt to adapt the comic to the big screen. Ang Lee's vision of the Hulk was not very well accepted by the fans, comments that the story was slow moving and that the action, while great, was lacking in consistency compared to the rest of the story. There was also some issues with how the Hulk looked, some saying that the CG completely took them out of the film.

I always defended the film, accepting that it had faults, but was enjoyable. I felt the story captured why the Hulk comic book is so enjoyable, not the green monster smashing up tanks, but the modern telling of the classic story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In the end all I could do was accept my Hulk movie with it's flaws.

Then I saw The Incredible Hulk...

I simply cannot express how enjoyable this movie was. Edward Norton, co-screen writer and star as Bruce Banner is simply an amazing man, he was able to produce a story that kept the struggle of a man with a monster hidden within him, but also deliver some amazing action sequences. The story stays consistent from beginning to end and does not lag or slow down at all. It incorporates themes from both the comic and 70's television show flawlessly, and even sets up for a possible sequel with yet another of the Hulks great Arch Villains.

It truly makes me happy to see how well Marvel Studios is doing, finally enabling crossover material previously impossible do to licensing issues. Keep your eye open for Stark Industry and S.H.I.E.L.D logos, and once again an ending leading up to a very specific movie penned for release (at the time of writing) in 2011.

If your a Hulk fan go see it, you will not be disappointed, if you aren't, it's a great summer action flick and I still suggest seeing it while in theaters.

Lists

Oddly enough I actually worked today, it threw me off in my update, but here I am. I have a few movies I may review throughout the week, but work is draining me so no promises. For now though?

The Bucket List

The Bucket List opened it's first weekend with $19,392,416 and went on to make $93,466,502 nationally and $172,466,502 world wide.

The story is about two men, Carter Chambers (Freeman) and Edward Cole (Nicholson) both find out they have but months to live, distraught they go out together with plans of completeing their Bucket List, a list of things to do before they die.

Theres not a lot to say about this movie, it is in a word, fantastic. Nicholson and Freeman, two of the best actors alive, give this movie a feeling of truth and heart. It's amazing to see two men of such high caliber work together.

The only thing I can say against it is the fact that these two men are getting older... It's sad to see great actors become older,it means that they may eventually stop acting, and soon may not be around at all.

Go see the movie, it's great, and carries an interesting message of accomplishing goals in your life before it's too late. The Bucket List comes out on DVD on June 10th.

Eye Strain

Second movie of the day! And yet another not yet released flick. Its the movie I hinted at last week but never got a chance to sit down and watch, it is...

The Eye

The eye opened at $12,425,776 which may sound small, but actually covered the entire budget of the film. It went on to make $31,418,697 national and $54,417,244 world wide.

The Eye is about Sydney Wells (Alba) a woman blind since the age of five, who finally has a successful cornea transplant and is able to see... But she begins to have strange horrifying visions of ghosts and death... As these visions haunt her she must try and find out whats real and whats not.

This film is yet another American remake of a Japanese horror film in the same vein as The Ring and The Grudge, cause apparently America has forgotten how to be scary...

But that is the thing with this movie...It's not scary. It felt like every shocking scene, of which there was only a handful, came and went so quick you really didn't get a chance to absorb what happened. The entire movie runs like this even to the end, flash of something then a long stretch of nothing.

The movie seems to follow the same thing thats wrong, to me anyway, with the Ring. There is no real danger... Throughout the movie we see these visions of ghosts and 'death shadows'... but we never see Alba's character get downright attacked in the film, the ghosts will jump at her, and she will be grabbed in a vision, but nothing actually happens.

No danger or risk till the very end, this seems to want to be a psychological thriller trapped in a Horror movie's body. It drags on for a while before actually moving the story along, I really can't suggest it to many. It releases June 3rd.

Jump

Okay so I've decided, since it seems to be difficult for me to update on a random schedule that I need a specific day to update. I didn't want to give myself something set it stone, because god forbid I don't have anything for that day...But none the less, I have decided to do Monday updated, with sporadic updates throughout the week whenever I get around to it. Today I will be doing two updates, as today there is no time limitation on watching them. First up?

JUMPER

Jumper opened at number one bringing in $27,354,808 it's opening weekend and stayed at number one for two weeks despite negative reviews. It ended up pulling in $79,840,473 domestic and $220,789,758 world wide.

Jumper is about David Rice, a man who at a young age discovered he had the ability to teleport anywhere he wanted, with this ability he makes a life of complete freedom for himself. But when an organization known as the Paladins, people who kill 'Jumpers', comes after him, he must fight back.

Jumper was another movie panned by general critics, yet despite it seems to be enjoyed bu audiences, and this movie truly is enjoyable. The story is pretty basic on the surface, but has a certain complexity to it, room to grow into sequels, of which there are two planned... But the real selling point is the action, the visuals, and the physics.

The scenes where Hayden's character is shown teleporting across the globe are just draw dropping. The entire sequence makes me smile, and instantly gives a matter of fact feel to the teleporting, as if this were just a normal day. It reminds me of the opening sequence to I Am Legend where Will Smith traverses the empty New York City, the two scenes made me say "If the movie was two hours of just this, I'd still watch it."

But of course thats not all it, the fight scenes, ah, the fight scenes. There is really nothing that can compare to what they do with the physics and visuals of these port fights. Each fight is unique, with something different, fact paced and involving, and just plain fun.

And Physics geeks also will not be disappointed as the movie follows amazingly well the 'rules' that would go along with the theoretical physics of teleportation. Teleporting causes a vaccume when leaving and a sudden burst of air and concussion on arrival...

The movie is just fun and is all that should be expected when watching. I highly suggest it to Physic Geeks and anyone looking for a really entertaining fast paced action flick. Jumpers releases June 10th... And I highly anticipate it's sequel.