Yo Joe

G.I. JOE
The Rise of Cobra

Now, before I even start in on this movie, let me discuss a bit on it's origin. In the mid-60s, after the phenomenal success of Barbie, Hasbro decided to make a 'doll for boys'. But what molded soft plastic toy would little boys want? Well an action man of course, a man's man, a soldier. There was born the original 12 inch G.I. Joe 'Action Figures'. Meant to represent the four arms of the military, and little else.

But that's not the toys WE remember playing with, nor the one we're here to speak on today. No we're talking the Real American Hero relaunch that came with a television show in the early 80's. Now the toys were not just soldiers, but an elite counter-terrorism squad fighting against the evil of Cobra, which just happened to BE a Terrorist organization.

Here we found a story. In essence, it was simply to create a 'reason' for the toys, but it grew from there. Over 20 years of revivals and revisions, it's hit every form of media from Television, to Comics, to several animated feature length films. It, like most things from the 80s that now sits in the essence of retro pop culture, is ingrained into 20-30 something's collective minds.

So, as is the Rule of Retro, if it's 20 years old, it's time to capitalize on the market. The kids of the 80s are now at the age where they have expendable income. They made a movie, following in the footsteps of another 80s property that started as a toy line turned Saturday Morning Cartoon. (Transformers, duh?)

When I saw the trailers oh so long ago, my initial reaction was bad. I had only two real complaints, but large ones. First were the Accelerator Suits. Far be it from me for knocking a movie based off a 30 minute Accessories Not Included commercial, but they looked so alien in this movie. It almost felt like they were making a G.I. Joe Halo crossover featuring two Master Chiefs... It was petty, but it felt as if it would detract from the style of the original material.

My second? What the hell was Marlon Wayne doing in the film? Now I do not hate Marlon, in fact I think he's a really funny comedic actor... when used right. The problem seems that he finds himself in movies he has no right to be in, where his style of comedy comes off more annoying than funny... Again it may seem petty, but putting a near slap stick comedian in an Action Movie seemed... off.

I was all ready to sit down to this and rip it a new one, but here's the thing... I liked it. It was a fun movie. And while the Power Armor annoyed me somewhat, they are used in only one scene and then never used again. Marlon Wayne's character was also a surprise, as he did not come off as a slapstick comedy side kick.

The FEEL of G.I. Joe is intact (aside from the aforementioned power armor scene) with each battle filled with explosions and hectic stunts. The characters are very likable on both sides with a few exceptions... Snake Eyes and White Shadow of course at the top of the list there, their story in the background to the main still comes off strong without detracting from the progression of the plot.

And then there's Cobra. I loved this, in the TV Series, Cobra Commander was, to be blunt, a joke. His raspy screeching voice, and tendency to never come out ahead or have any real tactical intelligence aside from screaming 'Attack' at the top of his lungs hardly made him an intimidating figure. Here he is sadistic, hate filled, and all of what you would expect from a Cartoon Villain given a PG-13 bump.

That's not to say I enjoyed it all. The first fifteen or so minutes of introduction to the actual Joes, they rattle off all the G.I. Joe tag lines in rapid succession, Realistic Hair and Kung Fu Grip, all American hero, and Knowing is Half the Battle are wedged into the dialogue. The Baroness, while at the beginning of the movie feels faithfully re-created, gets her character trashed due to the forced love story...

As well as Duke of all characters. He feels rather... bland. The only real characterization coming from the love story that was shoe horned into the movie. He added no real depth to the film aside from 'romantic action lead'. This was a shame since in the TV series he's all but the main character.

Though I still enjoyed this film. It, like Transformers, was able to be taken from campy 80s cartoon and turned into a nice Action Flick. And I must admit, I am glad to hear they will be making a sequel. Go ahead and give it a look when it comes out on the 3rd.

Bump in the Night

Cough cough, ahem... Dusty over here. Yes, just under a year since my last review, I come back. Why did I leave? Lack of motivation, interest, watching and reviewing movies felt forced, and I didn't like that.

So why have I brought this little review site back? I wanna talk about a very special movie. A movie you may never have heard of, or have heard fantastic lies from all the rumors surrounding this wonderfully marketed via word of mouth film. That film...

Paranormal Activity

I've decided to stop doing numbers, simply because telling you how much the movie made does not reflect how good a movie is. Not any bias here, this movie doesn't have numbers yet...

Paranormal Activity is a documentation of the events of a couple over the period of a few weeks. Having recently purchased an expensive video camera, Micah plans to record all of the strange occurrences that have been happening around the home he shares with his girlfriend Katie. Over the following days the force that plagues them becomes more and more aggressive, putting great stress on the couple.

This movie is interesting on several fronts. It's marketed completely by word of mouth, a tactic that has mutated into rumors about states having banned the film, that the film will only have midnight showings, and that it is the best horror movie ever made. Only one of these rumors is true.

It's a Handycam film, which I have mentioned before is a style of film making I believe can bring new life into a genre, and here it comes to bring new life into the Haunted House genre. The thing about Handycam films that it's detractors don't seem to realize is no, it's not cheap, or a gimmick, it's a way for viewers to be drawn into a film on a deeper level. We're not watching this film from a magic window in the characters lives, we're THERE, with the camera, it's more visceral and gripping than sitting behind a fake camera...

It is also, of course, touted as true events, which is okay. There's nothing wrong with a Handycam film claiming to be found footage of a real event to build upon it's own reality, it's par for the course... And this film doesn't leave anything out, even having the actors use their real names on camera to keep from needing a credit roll.

But enough of me spouting out my love for the hand held film... Lets get to the movie. It's amazing how...simple it is. The concept isn't exactly unexplored, it is a haunted house movie... well, a haunted person movie. But it's done so... subtly. Each scene progresses the plot only as much as it needs to, it's slow moving and methodical, each event coming with more intensity. It leaves you anxious in your seat as you wait to see what will happen...Will it be horrible? Will it be insignificant?

Another thing this movie does well is the switch. It starts off relatively harmless. The 'paranormal activities' caught are barely anything to worry about. I kept getting angry at the theater goers around me as they giggled and chortled at a door moving or the reaction of the couple to a loud bang... I shook my head with grief, feeling that the atmosphere was being destroyed by some dopes.

Then the movie kept going, the giggles, the laughter, they still came. But they came with less frequency. As the movie neared it's end, and the intensity of each scene topples the last, as these two characters are suddenly taken from mild annoyances to vicious and dangerous forces, the laughter stopped. Gasps and shocked cries replaced them. At the final minutes of the film, I heard fear and worry in the voices of the patrons, and I too was gripped with fear.

This movie starts off with nothing, it lures you in with a false sense of security, and then lashes out at you. People walk in to a horror film expecting to be frightened, so they put their guard up. This movie works on removing those guards, letting you ease in to the film before terrorizing you with the climax.

This is a movie you NEED to see. And you should see it in Theaters. The tag line states "Do not see it alone" and that is not because of how frightening the movie is, but because the experuience of an entire theater shifting from guffaws to shrieks is one you should never miss.

Go see it.

We. Don't. Know. Yet.

Well it's been a little while, I'm not worrying about it though, jack all's come out that I haven't already reviewed or is even worth reviewing... So lets get into this. It's gonna be a tough one for me.

Expelled:
No Intelligence Allowed

Expelled opened up with a total of $2,970,848 it's first weekend, and went on to make $7,690,545 domestic and total, as there was no world wide release. This movie was released in 1,052 theaters across the country... So the number is pretty small overall.

This film is a documentary exploring the notion that Intelligent Design is being blocked out of academia by the scientific community, and those scientist who promote Intelligent Design are being ostracized.

I'm going to try very hard not to let my personal opinions surface... But I simply cannot do this review without them. This movie is polarizing, if you think one way you will be infuriated... If you think another you will shout out that it's the bare truth of the argument. Personally, the movie infuriated me. I felt it gloss over the facts, mislead it's interviewees shamelessly into giving the answer they want, and seemed to be to me not about a block from the Scientific Community, but rather a ploy to poke holes in Evolution.

One thing that really aggravated me was the notion that when a scientist, skeptic, or other advocate for Evolution would state that we do not yet know how or why something works, Ben Stein would instantly push that 'Why couldn't a designer do it?' It's one issue I've always wondered...Why is not knowing bad? Why do we have to fill in the gaps before observation occurs.

The problem I see, is that blocking Intelligent Design from Academia is a good thing... (Personal feelings warning). The idea of forcing a supernatural force (a designer) into the realm of science is simply not acceptable. It is something forever unobservable, and therefor cannot be accepted. Supernatural by definition means something beyond nature...And science, in essence at least, is the study of natural phenomena.

It is also bad science overall, where IDers grasp to a solution, and work backwards to prove it, whereas science is supposed to observe, test, and explore before coming to any solution... These issues were never brought up in the film. It simply tried to drill holes into Evolution and say 'See it doesn't work, ours does' and then provide no evidence. (Personal views end)

One aspect of this film I found unforgivable was the assertion that the Nazi movement was based off of Darwinism... It was a move that made me grit my teeth as it was once again a diluted and misrepresented point. Nazism is based off a broken and misunderstanding of Darwinism and Evolution... No species could possibly survive by bottlenecking the gene pool into one race... A point never brought up.

The movie brought this argument against Evolution while continuingly telling us 'of course this does not mean Evolution leads to Nazism.' With a bit of a wink and a nod, still leaning us towards this argument... There is a Rule of the internet known as Godwin's law, simply stating that as an argument progresses, the probability of one side comparing the other to Hitler or Nazism increases. Once invoked, it is generally considered that the person who brought it up...has lost.

Though I say again there is a chancce, depending on your personal leanings on the subject, that you will love this movie. But know that it will not sway you towards Intelligent Design. It's not meant to... It's only purpous is to try and drag the Scientific Community down a notch so that their 'Science' can be accepted...

If you see Expelled on the shelves on the 21st, I would say to weigh your personal beliefes on the subject heavily before picking it up.

Monster Bash

Bleh... I really don't want to do this. In fact yesterday I put this movie off until the night, and actually fell asleep half way through because of how tired I was. But I made a promise, finished the movie today, and now I bring to you...

MONSTER

Another direct to DVD flick by the film studio The Asylum, the company that has no shame in ripping other people off, in this case, Cloverfield. Now again there are no numbers, not even for simple DVD sales. Trust me, I've looked...

Before we get to the actual movie... Lets talk about the actual ripping off part, the Handycam. Giant Monster movies are not rip offs, they are in fact genres of course... A rather old genre though, that has lost a lot of steam in the past few years... I always thought the idea of the handycam would bring back some old classic genre flicks, like George Romero's upcoming Diary of the Dead. What a great way to reinvision the classic Zombie Movie...

But I'm getting away from my point. Giant Monster movies are a Genre, Handycams are a great way to put life back into dying genres... A Giant Monster Movie filmed in Handycam? Rip off.

On to the actual movie the plot is pretty simple. Two film makers, sisters, go to Japan to make a documentary about global warming. It is in the middle of an interview that the city is attacked by a strange monster, the girls spend the rest of the movie trying to escape while documenting every moment.

Let me start off by saying these two girls, established as filmmakers in the film, must have the worst camera ever made. Throughout the film you will be bombarded by static, warping and distorted tape, and a variety of other camera glitches that really should not occure every time the camera is moved slightly to the left.

Cloverfield got a lot of stick for it's camera work in regards to obscuring any full shot of the monster attacking with buildings or angle, but Monster takes it well beyond that as we never see anything more than a tentacle or two of the actual creature attacking the city. This truly takes away from the atmosphere of the film because, to me at least, it's hard to be afraid of something that has no apparent sensory... Tentacles can not see, hear, or smell and therefore simply flail around... Makes the monster more of a hazard than anything to be afraid of.

The atmosphere is further reduced as we see the girl's many a time on a pristine city street with nary a sign of debris at all, or a flourishing park, a roof top, a very nice looking store... The movie continues to give us the impression that Tokyo is being destroyed... But we never get that impression from the scenery at all until it's necessary for the plot to have a pile of rubble for them to walk on.

The acting though, from the two leading actresses at least, is pretty decent. Not award winning, but more than you'd expect from the material given. The girls do their best to make do with the material, and while there were scenes that grained down on me, I can only compliment the two for doing the best they can with what they were given.

Sadly it was not enough.

Another flop from The Asylum, another movie I wish I had never watched. The only saving point truly was going in expecting it to be as bad as AvH, going in with lowered standards is the only way to watch this movie... I suggest you just pass on by if you see it.

Sink Your Teeth Into

And yet another review. I believe this is a new record for me. So what I have for today is a movie not available until March Sixth (this Tuesday), so I kind of feel like a legit critic, reviewing something before it's available to the public. It is none other than...

TEETH

Teeth is a film that was traveling the indie film festivals last year and never had a national theater release, so it does not have a Box Office number. Though Jess Weixler, the lead actress, won the Special Jury prize for Dramatic Performance at the Sundance Film Festival in 2007, a reward she well deserved.

The plot, if you don't follow the Independent Film circles is this; Dawn is a special girl, she is the most active member of her and her friends Chaste Club, though when a new boy comes to town she begins having impure thoughts. When these two young teenagers go out for a swim, things move to far for Dawn and thats when she discovers her Vagina Dentata. Dawn then tries to understand, cope with, and eventually enjoy her unique vaginal teeth.

The movie is quite honestly great. It's unique, well preformed, and masterfly combines aspects of dark comedy with actual horror. The woman playing Dawn, Jess Weixler is great in this role, and I do hope to see her move swiftly into some mainstream work, she is simply great to watch on screen.

A lot of this movie is about sex, obviously, and abstinence. There is a scene that is truly creepy as Dawn comes to speak at an abstinence seminar where all the children spout in unison quotes from the bible.

I think the true message of this movie is; if you're going to have sex... Make sure it's safe.

Reign Over Geek

I have on my desk a slew of interesting movies, each one I plan on giving a review to... Beowulf, the movie I mentioned in my AVH review Monster, and two movies I plan to review tomorrow that have not yet hit the streets on DVD; The Great Debaters and Teeth. In all honesty I am looking forward to Teeth, I heard about it a while ago while it was running the indie film festivals. But for tonight I am reviewing...

Reign Over Me

The numbers for this particular movie are difficult, as it did not play in all theaters nation wide. It only played in 1,671 theaters when it opened, grossing 7.5 Million for the first weekend, and going on to make 19.7 Million national, and 1.2 Million international.

I want to start off by saying that I absolutely love when comedy actors play a drama, it always puts a smile on my face and always lets us see how much range they truly have. Robin Williams did this in Final Cut, Insomnia, and One Hour Photo, Jim Carrey does it in The Number 23, and Adam Sandler does it in Reign over Me.

That being said when I first started to see trailers for this movie I groaned. I thought it was going to be a movie that sort of exploited 9/11 for the plot like World Trade Center, or United 93. Thats not to say that 9/11 should be barred from movie plot, but it seems cheap, as to attack a movie like that would be akin to attacking the actual events themselves.

But this movie... Does not do that. The movie, for those who don't know, is about two men... Alan Johnson, a family man and dentist meets up with his old high school friend Charlie Fineman, a man who has lost his family and life in the events of 9/11 who now suffers from Post Traumatic Stress syndrome. The movie follows the two men's friendship as they lean on each other and eventually make steps to help Charlie face his problems and gain his life back.

The movie does not dwell so much on 9/11, it truly feels like it is simply a movie about two friends who need each other to help solve their problems. This movie also has some truly heart wrenching scenes as Charlie tries to cope with what happened and attempt to overcome his illness.

Adam Sandler does an amazing job in this movie, really showing his skill as an actor. And his chemistry with Don Cheadle makes the friendship between Alan and Charlie look so genuine. The struggle as Charlie attempts to get help for his PTS is portrayed so well, it's actually yugs at your heart to see the pain in his eyes...

The movie is great, it's powerful, deep, and has many laughs as well. You may find yourself laughing out loud in one scene, and then brought to tears in another. A great film for those who love to watch movies with real people and real emotions in them.

Iron Geek

As promised to you by me last night, I have a new review of a new movie that is actually in theaters. It released today (May 2) and I was able to catch a Midnight Showing. It is none other than...

Iron Man

As it is a fresh from the pot new release there are no numbers yet for Iron Man, though this Monday I will get them and be able to post them accordingly. I am sure this will be the top grossing movie of the weekend.
EDIT: Numbers are in, and man they're impressive. Iron Man went on to make $104,250,000 Domestic and $95,500,000 foreign, making its total world wide gross $199,750,000. Thats nearly two hundred million... and it's only the opening weekend!

Iron Man. It's yet another Comic Book movie. We're getting a lot of them this year and I couldn't be happier because more is on the way. The synopses, for those of you who haven't read the comic is this; Tony Stark, head of Stark Enterprises a leading arms seller to the US Government is gunned down while making a presentation of one of his companies latests weapons. He finds himself a captive of terrorists, and severely wounded. When freed he finds a new inspiration to life and builds himself a high tech battle suit to protect people from the weapons he himself created.

I have to admit... When I first heard about this movie and that Robert Downy Jr. was slated to play Iron Man, I was hesitant. Robby boy is a great actor don't get me wrong, and I wasn't trying to be slated by his past... But could he handle...Iron Man? Could he be Tony Stark?

The answer is yes. In fact I am always shocked that I didn't see it sooner. There is probably no man better to play a cocky egomaniac playboy like Stark better than Jr. The man comes off with this cocky yet charming attitude and comes off as really funny.

The whole movie is great. The effects of the Iron Man suit are amazing and seamless, it looks truly wonderful and at the same time looks like it's there. The action is fast paced yet easy to follow and involving. The story comes together nicely and while not being an expert on Iron Man, I believe they stayed true to the source material.

I will be very glad to see a franchise of sequels come from this. Though I do believe Marvel has something up their sleeves with these new summer releases... I cannot be quoted on this, but with the Hulk coming out this summer and a Captain America film announced, I believe the Avengers movie will be a direct Movieverse crossover.

Go see the film. And remember to stay for the End Credits.

Geek Vs AVH

And so I make my first review since my return, I actually consider a Public Service Announcement as well as just wanting SOMETHING up here besides my "I'm back" post. The movie I am reviewing is...

AVH Alien vs. Hunter

If you are noticing something slightly familiar don't be surprised... It is in fact what you think it is. A cheap imitation of the AVP sequel. This is the part of the review where I usually start quoting numbers. But I cannot find any. This was a direct to DVD release, and therefore has no box office numbers. The movie is produced by a company called The Asylum, who is no stranger to the rip art of rip off. With movies like I Am Omega, Snakes on a Train, and a Handycam film about a monster attacking a city in Japan called, originally enough, Monster... Which I might actually watch and review next week if I'm feeling self destructive enough.

The movie premise itself is pretty simple, if you've watched AVP Requiem, you already know it. The most deadly alien in the universe lands on Earth, followed by a hunter sworn to take it down. A small town and it's inhabitants get trapped in the crossfires.

This review might not be too thorough as I honestly could not finish watching it. I know it may sound a bit unprofessional, but it was truly unwatchable. I picked this movie up out of morbid curiosity and went in expecting certain things. Bad acting; yes, unoriginal story and boring characters; yes and yes, cheap effects; so many. But I was not expecting such a bland experience. The story, characters, and acting is so dry, so uninvolving that you pray for the aliens to come just so you can get away from the main characters, and perhaps lose a few of them. But when that happens we are treated to an action sequence that consists of the main cast running around quite honestly like crazy people, and most of the time the aliens simply stagger about as if it's hard to move around in their costumes.

The similarities to AVP is never subtle. The alien is a slimey grotesque beast with a long dome like head. The Hunter is a high tech humanoid wearing a sort of battle suit carrying a powerful laser weapon, cloaking capability, and his helmet gives him different types of vision fields.

I cannot in good conscience recommend this movie to anyone. When picking it up a co-worker had chuckled slightly and told me it might be a good movie to MS3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000), meaning a good movie to watch and make fun of... But honestly I can't even say that.

If you ever do find this movie on the shelf of whatever video store you frequent, put it down and walk away. There are too many other B Sci-Fi films which are better than this. It is one of the worst films I have ever seen.

Return of Movie Geek

Okay... Well, I have been away for quite some time. Maybe it's for the best, as my opinions and information of certain movies wouldn't be called... correct. I was debating simply deleting my old posts and starting anew. But I don't think I will, those were my early attempts at doing something I had never done previously. I think I should own up to them. "Yes. I was once a novice. I made mistakes, though now I am better."

Least I hope I am.

Why have I brought back a blog I haven't updated in nearly three years? A couple reasons actually. I need a place to hone my writing skills, I want to become better, and sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself into doing it. This will give me a chance to write, while doing something I enjoy doing, talking about movies.

The second reason is that I am now financially more secure (sort of) than I was when I wrote this before. I also have a new job which gives me better access to movies (Blockbuster). This means I will always have access to SOME form of movie to review.

I will still be doing Theater movies, but it's not a guaranteed. I simply am unable to get to the theaters as much as I'd like. Hopefully if all goes well, I will have an Iron Man review for you tomorrow night.

Hopefully I can keep this thing going, hopefully I can improve not only my writing skills but my opinion and view of movies in general... Hopefully someone will actually read this.

Fantastic Failure

About a month ago, I was debating on putting this site on Hiatus, I had hit an all time low in funds, and just couldn't see any movie whatsoever. There was also that little conflict I had with myself about the "Being too generouse" with movie reviews. Yeah well, I then fell into some personal problem and the site just became less and less important. But no more... Hell or high Heaven, there will be an update every Thursday.

Now what I could do today, is give a review to War of the Worlds, not gonna do it. Go see it, it's pretty good. I could also tell you about why you should NOT see Herbie: Fully Loaded, but I would hope that the reasons would be obviouse, so thats a no go either. What I am gonna talk about today is something opening tommorow. Fantastic Four.

A year or two ago, when I first heard of prodiction of Fantastic Four movie, I was a giddy little school boy. I was happy, as it is one of the greatest comics out there, and the posabilities were just endless. Now I stare upon it as a foul and dirty accident left on the rug by a dog.

Lets go with this. Now I understand that in every comic book adaptation, things change to better help the material make the transfer to the silver screen. Spiderman lost his web shooters, the Absorbing Man was Hulks father, Elektra was a smarmy rich daughter. Trust me I understand this, I defend most of this. But the changes made to Fantastic Four is just too much.

It all pretty much revolves around Doom. One of the major.... No, THE majot villian of the entire Fantastic Four series. We first see him as the iron fisted ruler of some eastern Europ country, apparently horrifically scarred by an accident in college, an accident cause by Dr. Reed Richard... Our very own, Mr. Fantastic. Doom swears a vendetta against Reed, for he truley believes that Richard is the reason behind his horrific scars. And thats where his trademark comes. He covers his hidious face, with a mask of metal.
Doom never had any powers. What he had was a genius mind, masterful tactition abilities, and enough monies and subordinates to throw at anything. He created death rays, weapons, ships, robots. He whipped up masterful plans that punished the Fantastic four. If he could help it, he would never throw a punch.

But all that changes. No longer is Doom a dctator, he's some big business owner, who supplies the funds to Richards space project, and for whatever reason, tags along. No longer is he scarred, no longer is he powerless. He can now hurl bolts of lightning around. And wears the mask because it looks cool apparently. No mention of scarring whatsoever.
No more minions or machines, now he's just a powerhouse that for some reason, takes four people to take down. It destroys the very staple that was Fantastic four. And then? A love triangle. Sue Strorm, ex-girlfriend to Richard, either used to Date Doom, or was dating him during the accident. Wow, what drama, what a twist, what craptastic writting. So now that akward storyline is set in place, leads to many many bad lines between Sue and Doom, which are not needed.

Jonny, oh Jonny. The Human Tourch was always the wild one, funny one, always the one spitting out random catch phrases. But the guy just comes off as an annoying dick in any form of prievew I see. A distraction from the main plot as he tries to be cool, funny, and likable at the same time. He will be playing the heart of the conflict within the team, Richard desperatly wants to keep the accident and their powers a secret, Jonny wants to be fame and fortune, thats pretty much it. Both Richard and Jonny come to a middle point, where Richard realizes the need for their powers, and Jonny realizes that he must use his powers for good, instead of fame. See there? I haven't even seen the movie and I already explained n hour and a half worth of plot.

Ben, The Thing. Well, from what I can tell, besides the horrible way they give his "Clobberin' Time" line, is done well enough. I assume it's because The Thing is such a basic character, he can't help but be done right. He's a huge green rocked monster, children fear him, he doesn't like that. Remorse and depression comes, but he still realizes he's gotta kick ass.

Just don't bother with it. The acting looks horrible, the plot laughable, and it will piss off each and every Comic book fan there is. Wait for it to come on TV.

If I am motivated too, I will see it and give a proper review tommorow, I can't make promises.

Have Towel, Will Travel.

Okay so here's the deal. The single reason that I have not posted in a long time, is because I've been giving the impression of being too generous, all the movies I have so far reviewed, have gotten a very generously good review. I seem biased, so I held off until I saw a movie I deemed bad enough to warn people about. But as my dollar has been short, I really wasn't inclined to throw money at something I wasn't gonna enjoy, and all the bad movies I've seen on TV were either shut off, or too old to even bother. But the good news is, is that I have been transferred to a better store, and the money flow has become much better, that and I plan to shoot for a Thursday update regardless of whether I've seen a movie or not. This will be spent to just generally discuss the goings on of Hollywood and the Movie Industry in general.

Now, I do have a review, and to be damned with bad movies, I'm not gonna let that hold me back when there are so many movies that have potential, finally coming out. I have already missed my chance to review Constantine and Sin City because I wanted to put a bad movie first. This day, I will review




The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, now the Box Office numbers have yet to be released for today, so I have not yet gotten them to put here, but when I do get them I will post them.
*Edit: Numbers are in. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy made on opening night $8,100,000, totally destroying XXX2 by nearly double, and went on to make $21,707,000 to date for their opening weekend. Not too shabby.

The Guide is getting some pretty strong recognition as a good movie, but of course, there are the Book Fans that have instantly labeled it as a "Oh No." I've read the book more times than I can count, and love it entirely, but I am someone who understands that the adaptation from book to movie is shaky and there has to be differences. Its two forms of media. But I have this warning to anyone who walks in expecting an exact adaptation.... IT IS DIFFERENT. Way different, this is only as to put enough into it to make a movie, and smooth out the plot that stretches five books, into a nice two hour movie. The problem with the book is that it's short enough to fill about an hour, and ends on one major cliffhanger. Please don't expect to see the exact book on the screen. If you wanna see that, there's a very nice Mini-Series on DVD right now that does it well.

Moving on, the changes are far from bad. This movie was in production for a long while (more so preproduction for a while) and Douglas Adams himself wrote the screenplay before he passed away, these are all his ideas, and stay true to the Brit humor that all his fans love.

The movie starts on a Thursday, the worst Thursday ever in fact, in a small town in England, where we find Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman) an average man who is about to go on a very unaverage adventure. See Arthur happened to be friends with Ford Prefect (Mos Def) who is not an Earthling, but an alien man from a planet somewhere in the proximity of Betelgeuse. Arthur once saved Ford's life, so Ford repays the favor. The Earth is promptly destroyed. We follow Arthur and Ford, as well as Zaphod Beeblebrox (Sam Rockwell), Trillian (Zooey Deschanel), and Marvin the Paranoid Robot (Warwick Davis, Voiced by: Alan Rickman) as they travel the Galaxy in the stolen ship; The Heart of Gold.

As said before, the movie deviates from the book plot to fill in a gap, but otherwise stays amazingly true to the books with many exact quotes. The new material and the old flow seamlessly, giving the movie a feel of consistency throughout. The humor stays true to its British origins, giving quite a few Brit references, such one being "Leave this to me. I'm British, I know how to queue."
One of the greatest moves was of course Marvin, the Paranoid Robot. There is no man alive who could voice him better than Alan Rickman; his drulling English accent is pretty much to a T what I had when reading the books so long ago. His lines, straight out of the books and new to the screen, got some of the best responses. His stubby body and large head was what Douglas was quoted as saying he really wanted Marvin to look like, rather than the way he appeared in the Miniseries.

Overall the movie did really well in keeping Adam's legacy alive, and I would have to say, the only real problem I had was they never explained WHY the towel was important ;) But all the book readers should know that in advanced. I also notices, that alot of the movie seemed to have made the cut, as we see certain things in the Trailers, that don't appear in the movie. But that only makes good for DVD extras, and Director's Cuts.

8 out of 10 Go watch it, right now.

Expect a new post on Thursday, right now this sass frood needs to get some sleep.

Constant Watchings.

Again, I apologize in the latency of updates. I was going to write my expectations of Elektra, but on the opening night, I heard so many "It Sucks" my heart fluttered and the inspiration died. I am also having a lot of trouble writing up my next two reviews, as they are very similar for one reason. I haven't decided to separate them in two posts, or make a double review... But they are coming, and one of the movies actually just came out!

But on to other news, and the real reason of this post. This has brought a rather BIG smile to my face, as it is one of my favorite Graphic Novels. I've also heard very good things about David Hayter, the writer, and how he has made the Screenplay as close to the Novel as humanly posable. This is an odd thing though, ad it was just the other day that me and my friend were discussing Constantine, and I mentioned that The Watchmen would be an awesome to film movie.

Constantine, coming a week this Friday. I have never read the Graphic Novel, though I heard VERY good things about it. This fact of course, may make my opinion of the movie slightly skewed from someone who has read it. But I really don't think that's the point of Comic/Book movies. I believe that, more so than to enthrall old fans with characters they know on the silver screen, the movies are made to draw in a new fanbase. How many people have read The Lord of the Ring since the movies. Before then I could honestly say I never saw the book on the shelf of my book store, but now, there are two racks reserved for the different styles of the book, and any other Tolkien story the stores can get a hold of.

But the book aside. I am actually looking forward to this. As I know of, this is really the first Graphic Novel to jump the big screen since the Comic Book Movie fad boomed in with X-Men. And Keanu Reeves defiantly looks like a good pick for this role, with his Action/Sci-fi background of the Matrix, he is no stranger to the philosophy of Religion, and the kick ass style of a warrior. This is a man who went from being a brainless Cali-Surfer in a time traveling Phone Booth, to being the savior of humanity in a world of virtual reality. The man defiantly has some skill.

So, High expectations for Constantine, ecstatic for more Watchmen info, and two new reviews coming soon.


IN OTHER NEWS!!! This is not a joke, Nick, again a bit behind in the ways of the world, have taken in the "Classics to DVD" trend, and is starting it's Rewind Collection with Clarissa Explains it All. I suggest anyone who wants to see the GOOD nick shows again buy this, so that they won't decide against releasing

Butterfly Nets

Sorry for the whole not posting again thing, lately I haven't seen any movies on TV that have inspired a review from me... And my theater budget is little to none, so no new movies there either. But I have just watched a movie that has struck me in the brain, and the brain has a large part to do with this particular movie...




THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT


The Butterfly Effect. This movie was another that was rather harshly town by the critics, but still managed to pull in $57,650,876 total in the box offices, and stayed in the top ten for five straight weeks. Not too shabby if you think about it.

Now, you must realize that this is not a movie for the light hearted, this thing is dark, and for what seems to be for no reason than being dark. We have everything from Pedophilia, to Doggy cooking. If you could sum this movie up in one phrase, I would have to say it is a psychological Moshpit.

The movie is about Evan Treborn(Ashton Kutcher), who as a child had several blackouts during traumatic times of his life. Through a psychologists suggestion, Even has been keeping journals since he was seven to help with memory. Through reading these journals he learns he can go back, and actually change the events that happened during the blackouts... But when his change turns for the worst, Even is thrown in a never ending spiral downwards as he attempts to fix his mistakes, and only succeeds in making things ten times worse with every change...

This movie does great with what it aims at, psychological ware, and shock value. In every change we are subjected to another characters pain at the fault of Evan, every change we see something so outstanding, it makes us breath heavy as he changes again, and makes it so it never happened. This movie tugs at your heart, and your mind as it has no regard for the main character's well being as, they'll be changed in the next switch, so we see everything from murders, and prostitution, all the way up to psychosis and missing limbs. And every change seems to make it worse, as the strain on Evan's brain increases as more memories try to fill his brain.

This movie raises a lot of very interesting questions about the chain of events our actions create, and just how much our small off handed responses may effect another's life drastically, The Butterfly Effect and Chaos Theory in it's essence.

The movie falters slightly though, as it has some minor plot holes including the switches, one including the fact that he has someone else's memories flash by, for no reason better then the lack of narration to show it... The plot is also a little troubling to follow, if you're not ready to be deeply involved in the movie straight through...

So if you're looking for a movie where a guy magically gets the power to change the past, and continues to change it cause he just "can't get it right dang nabbit!" Then step away, if you're looking for a movie that treats you like an adult as we look into a world of sadistic minds and mental illness, then saddle up, this one's for you!

9 out of 10, if you're into the mental stuff, pick this up... I also suggest the Directors Cut, unfortunately I haven't seen it, but I heard it was much better then the Theatrical release...



For the future. I plan on somehow getting the cash to see White Noise, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and Elektra. Speaking of Elektra, expect a small paragraph coming soon of my expectations/hopes. I liked Dare Devil (Though I can admit that was a rather big flop) and I hope this one can impress...

X Marks the Spot!

First meetings, and as all Firsts do, this shall probably suck. It's awkward, at this point you're probably reading through the Archives, as I most defiantly don't have any readers now, and I'm still trying to settle into a style... But what is this site? Well it's my little corner of the Internet reserved for my movie Reviews, as I need a place outside of my Online Journal to stick them.

But who am I you ask? I'm glad you asked...I am nothing more than a small town Joisee boy with a boredom problem, a lot of time on my hands, and considers myself to be somewhat of a Movie Buff. That and I also love to write, so these aspects eventually developed into an interest in Movie Critique(something of which I have no idea how to get into professionally) so I designed this spot to work out my style and ability as a reviewer. But enough with the Chit Chat, onto the first review! Which is...



NATIONAL TREASURE


National Treasure. It's been getting some pretty harsh reviews by Critics, mostly dealing with it's "ridiculous" plot, and the lack of any depth in said plot. Yet it still managed to pull in $35,142,554 opening weekend, stayed the #1 movie in America for three weeks straight, being beaten by only Blade: Trinity, and Oceans Twelve in the fourth week, and pulling in a grand total so far of $124,071,959. So it's obviously doing something right...
What you have to realize walking into National Treasure is, that it's a popcorn flick. It's an Action/Adventure movie, with aspects of Comedy, and Mystery/Drama. This is the type of movie you just need to shut your brain off for, and enjoy the pretty colors. And it does a damn fine job in that aspect.
The plot is pretty simple, as an action movie plot should be. But it builds up to a nice complexity, that it comes out really well in a story... Ben Franklin Gates(Nicholas Cage) has only one dream, to find the treasure that has labeled his family as Crazy, as for generations they have been searching for a treasure left behind by the forefathers, a treasure that had been building for centuries before that, said to be more then any one man could spend... Gates has finally found the clue he has been searching for... There's only one problem, it's hidden on the back of the declaration of Independence.
This movie really did well... It flowed nicely, keeping each and every clue both true to history, but fitting the complex puzzle set up before it. Every piece of the trail is something we've all learned about in history, The Declaration of Independence, the Liberty Bell, and so on. And the Acting is very good, as I was sitting in the most horrid theater I have ever had the privilege of occupying, I was constantly in the story, paying close attention, it really grabs you with the delivery...
Overall this movie was very good, and isn't getting the credit it deserves. Simply because it doesn't have a thick, complex plot, wonderful story crafting, and a nice moral or twist ending. Don't get me wrong, I love thought provoking movies, but every now and again we all have to unwind, and enjoy some mindless explosions, of which there are only a few. But this movie is still pulling through very well despite it's constant thrashing. So just go out, and enjoy it...
8 out of 10: Defiantly worth a theater viewing.




Now onto more business. This site may or may not be updated on a regular basis, and will probably contain more older movies than ones still in theater depending on my budget. It may also take a few days to a few weeks for certain movie reviews depending on my schedualing abilities... I am always taking suggestions, and donations as well. I know it may sound cheap asking for money, but a guy's gotta make a living. If you're interedted in making a donation just contact me. I'll have Donation info up on the site soon enough.
This site is also not Review limited, any movie related topic I feel like ranting about will most likely end up here, and maybe some stuff that has nothing to do with movies at all. Whatever my twisted mind feels like spewing onto the keyboard.