Yo Joe

G.I. JOE
The Rise of Cobra

Now, before I even start in on this movie, let me discuss a bit on it's origin. In the mid-60s, after the phenomenal success of Barbie, Hasbro decided to make a 'doll for boys'. But what molded soft plastic toy would little boys want? Well an action man of course, a man's man, a soldier. There was born the original 12 inch G.I. Joe 'Action Figures'. Meant to represent the four arms of the military, and little else.

But that's not the toys WE remember playing with, nor the one we're here to speak on today. No we're talking the Real American Hero relaunch that came with a television show in the early 80's. Now the toys were not just soldiers, but an elite counter-terrorism squad fighting against the evil of Cobra, which just happened to BE a Terrorist organization.

Here we found a story. In essence, it was simply to create a 'reason' for the toys, but it grew from there. Over 20 years of revivals and revisions, it's hit every form of media from Television, to Comics, to several animated feature length films. It, like most things from the 80s that now sits in the essence of retro pop culture, is ingrained into 20-30 something's collective minds.

So, as is the Rule of Retro, if it's 20 years old, it's time to capitalize on the market. The kids of the 80s are now at the age where they have expendable income. They made a movie, following in the footsteps of another 80s property that started as a toy line turned Saturday Morning Cartoon. (Transformers, duh?)

When I saw the trailers oh so long ago, my initial reaction was bad. I had only two real complaints, but large ones. First were the Accelerator Suits. Far be it from me for knocking a movie based off a 30 minute Accessories Not Included commercial, but they looked so alien in this movie. It almost felt like they were making a G.I. Joe Halo crossover featuring two Master Chiefs... It was petty, but it felt as if it would detract from the style of the original material.

My second? What the hell was Marlon Wayne doing in the film? Now I do not hate Marlon, in fact I think he's a really funny comedic actor... when used right. The problem seems that he finds himself in movies he has no right to be in, where his style of comedy comes off more annoying than funny... Again it may seem petty, but putting a near slap stick comedian in an Action Movie seemed... off.

I was all ready to sit down to this and rip it a new one, but here's the thing... I liked it. It was a fun movie. And while the Power Armor annoyed me somewhat, they are used in only one scene and then never used again. Marlon Wayne's character was also a surprise, as he did not come off as a slapstick comedy side kick.

The FEEL of G.I. Joe is intact (aside from the aforementioned power armor scene) with each battle filled with explosions and hectic stunts. The characters are very likable on both sides with a few exceptions... Snake Eyes and White Shadow of course at the top of the list there, their story in the background to the main still comes off strong without detracting from the progression of the plot.

And then there's Cobra. I loved this, in the TV Series, Cobra Commander was, to be blunt, a joke. His raspy screeching voice, and tendency to never come out ahead or have any real tactical intelligence aside from screaming 'Attack' at the top of his lungs hardly made him an intimidating figure. Here he is sadistic, hate filled, and all of what you would expect from a Cartoon Villain given a PG-13 bump.

That's not to say I enjoyed it all. The first fifteen or so minutes of introduction to the actual Joes, they rattle off all the G.I. Joe tag lines in rapid succession, Realistic Hair and Kung Fu Grip, all American hero, and Knowing is Half the Battle are wedged into the dialogue. The Baroness, while at the beginning of the movie feels faithfully re-created, gets her character trashed due to the forced love story...

As well as Duke of all characters. He feels rather... bland. The only real characterization coming from the love story that was shoe horned into the movie. He added no real depth to the film aside from 'romantic action lead'. This was a shame since in the TV series he's all but the main character.

Though I still enjoyed this film. It, like Transformers, was able to be taken from campy 80s cartoon and turned into a nice Action Flick. And I must admit, I am glad to hear they will be making a sequel. Go ahead and give it a look when it comes out on the 3rd.

Bump in the Night

Cough cough, ahem... Dusty over here. Yes, just under a year since my last review, I come back. Why did I leave? Lack of motivation, interest, watching and reviewing movies felt forced, and I didn't like that.

So why have I brought this little review site back? I wanna talk about a very special movie. A movie you may never have heard of, or have heard fantastic lies from all the rumors surrounding this wonderfully marketed via word of mouth film. That film...

Paranormal Activity

I've decided to stop doing numbers, simply because telling you how much the movie made does not reflect how good a movie is. Not any bias here, this movie doesn't have numbers yet...

Paranormal Activity is a documentation of the events of a couple over the period of a few weeks. Having recently purchased an expensive video camera, Micah plans to record all of the strange occurrences that have been happening around the home he shares with his girlfriend Katie. Over the following days the force that plagues them becomes more and more aggressive, putting great stress on the couple.

This movie is interesting on several fronts. It's marketed completely by word of mouth, a tactic that has mutated into rumors about states having banned the film, that the film will only have midnight showings, and that it is the best horror movie ever made. Only one of these rumors is true.

It's a Handycam film, which I have mentioned before is a style of film making I believe can bring new life into a genre, and here it comes to bring new life into the Haunted House genre. The thing about Handycam films that it's detractors don't seem to realize is no, it's not cheap, or a gimmick, it's a way for viewers to be drawn into a film on a deeper level. We're not watching this film from a magic window in the characters lives, we're THERE, with the camera, it's more visceral and gripping than sitting behind a fake camera...

It is also, of course, touted as true events, which is okay. There's nothing wrong with a Handycam film claiming to be found footage of a real event to build upon it's own reality, it's par for the course... And this film doesn't leave anything out, even having the actors use their real names on camera to keep from needing a credit roll.

But enough of me spouting out my love for the hand held film... Lets get to the movie. It's amazing how...simple it is. The concept isn't exactly unexplored, it is a haunted house movie... well, a haunted person movie. But it's done so... subtly. Each scene progresses the plot only as much as it needs to, it's slow moving and methodical, each event coming with more intensity. It leaves you anxious in your seat as you wait to see what will happen...Will it be horrible? Will it be insignificant?

Another thing this movie does well is the switch. It starts off relatively harmless. The 'paranormal activities' caught are barely anything to worry about. I kept getting angry at the theater goers around me as they giggled and chortled at a door moving or the reaction of the couple to a loud bang... I shook my head with grief, feeling that the atmosphere was being destroyed by some dopes.

Then the movie kept going, the giggles, the laughter, they still came. But they came with less frequency. As the movie neared it's end, and the intensity of each scene topples the last, as these two characters are suddenly taken from mild annoyances to vicious and dangerous forces, the laughter stopped. Gasps and shocked cries replaced them. At the final minutes of the film, I heard fear and worry in the voices of the patrons, and I too was gripped with fear.

This movie starts off with nothing, it lures you in with a false sense of security, and then lashes out at you. People walk in to a horror film expecting to be frightened, so they put their guard up. This movie works on removing those guards, letting you ease in to the film before terrorizing you with the climax.

This is a movie you NEED to see. And you should see it in Theaters. The tag line states "Do not see it alone" and that is not because of how frightening the movie is, but because the experuience of an entire theater shifting from guffaws to shrieks is one you should never miss.

Go see it.