Mr. Fantastic

Alright so I think this will not be the only review I do this week as I have a few movies I might want to talk about this week. Also I have to get to a list of requests from Rick, who wants me to review Horror movies, consisting of all Slasher Flicks. I'll see how many rentals I have left over after grabbing the new stuff later this week, Rick.

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fantastic Mr. Fox follows the story of Mr. Fox, a fox who was once a professional Farm Thief, giving up his trade when he learns he is to become a father. Twelve Fox Years later he moves his family to a new home with the secret goal of returning to stealing. When three farmers decide to kill Mr. Fox, a standoff between them and all the woodland creatures begins.

And here we have the third movie with George Clooney in a row. I'm beginning to think the man cannot make a bad movie... I am then of course reminded of Batman and Robin. Fantastic Mr. Fox is quite honestly amazing. It's a strange experience watching the film since it's just so off beat, in such a good way. It's so subtle in it's humor, downplaying the audacity of talking animals. Everything seems almost muted, it doesn't jump out at you like a lot of family films. This movie isn't loud, wildly colorful, or fast moving and that's what gives it it's charm.

You obviously cannot talk about this movie without talking about the animation. It's all done in stop motion, which is all just beautiful. The aesthetic of earthy browns and fiery oranges give the film scenery that is just amazing to watch. All the characters seem intensely detailed, this being one of the first stop motion films I've seen with realistically moving eyes that didn't seem just painted on. The fact that a majority of the characters are covered in fur make the fact that this movie is as smooth as it is just makes me applaud the film makers.

I think the reason Fantastic Mr. Fox works so well, and maybe why it seems so odd, is that it doesn't just jump into a plot, and when it does it doesn't just pursue it till the end. The film first allows the audience to settle into a world, gently nudging the plot forward in the background before it comes crashing into the foreground. It's a layered film, with many themes and aspects to explore. Midlife crisis, family rivalry, sense of community, and risk vs. security are all core aspects to a larger whole.

This is a film that you need to see, at least once. It's beautiful, well written, and extremely funny. It comes out on the 23rd so if you see it on the shelf, pick it up. You won't be dissapointed.

Staring Contest

The Men who Stare at Goats

After his wife leaves him, journalist Bob Wilton hightails it to Iraq for a story and to prove to his ex wife that he is a man. There he meets Lyn Cassady, a man who claims to be a recently reactivated psychic spy. Together they head into Iraq where Lynn explains to Bob the military's secret psychic spy program from the Cold War.

This is an interesting movie... It's hilarious, well executed, great characters and acting, and becoming poignant when needed. It's just a shame with all those qualities it still feels lacking. Now I enjoyed this film immensely, and suggest anyone a fan of dark quirky comedies to see it, but there's just something missing from this film. Something that just doesn't draw you in as deeply as other films.

This film seems to swap from dark comedy to drama without any real flow, the themes of the film don't match very well in that regard. In one seen you have this oddness of a soldier hopped up on LSD in attempts to prove his psychic powers running through the camp naked firing wildly, the next shot he shoots himself in the head. Dark comedies can be dramatic, but in this film the shift from one theme to the next seems stiff, and comes without warning.

This all compounds with the psychic abilities themselves. Half the time the whole idea of psychic powers seems silly and easily explained, all nonsense in the context of the film and only real in the flashbacks. Then another time they appear as real, with no logical explanation to have. The movie doesn't seem to want to decide if the Lynn character is a real psychic or if he's just a con man that believes his own con...

But with all that said, the film is still worth watching. It's a funny and odd dark comedy, if you can handle the mood shifts you will enjoy it immensely. The way Clooney and McGregor play off eachother, a timid young reporter and an old psychic supersoldier... Clooney completely taken by his own story and McGregor going along for the sake of his story, it's great.

This film is definitely for those who enjoy the ludicrous and dark comedies, it may be worth buying, but you wouldn't be wasting money to rent it first to see if it's for you.

Fly Me Away

Up in the Air

Ryan Bingham has a job that keeps him in the air throughout the year, a fact he is most pleased with. Spending most of his time flying around the country, he has taken to a lifestyle of no commitments, always on the move. When a young woman comes to his company with an idea that will keep him grounded, he takes her on the road with him to show her how it needs to be done, and hopefully preserve his way of life.

Jason Reitman seems to have a way of going about movies, taking something reviled and reveling in it. With Thank you for Smoking we saw a spokesperson for the Tabacco Industry as our protagonist, talking about spin and marketing as a way of life. Juno showed us Teen Pregnancy as not something tragic and forever heartbreaking, but as something snarky and something to laugh at. Here we have a man who not only has to deal with airlines, but prefers to be there than home.

It's interesting to me that his protagonists are never truley good people Thank you for Smoking was a Tabacco Spokesperson, Juno a pregnant teen who was cynical and almost callous to those around her, and now a man who fires people for a living, sure he helps them along the way to finding a new path, but he doesn't really seem to care about them. The man is empty, with no real connections...

This movie follows this broken man as his lifestyle is challenged. He sees an end to his anchorless ways, and fights to regain it. All the while toppling over a romance story that shows that maybe being grounded wouldn't be so horrible. The movie plays with these ideas of keeping yourself free and tying yourself down to something throughout, an amazingly small main cast showing so many aspects of life on the move. All concluding in an ending that's almost bittersweet, despite everyone getting what they want.

This is a movie that should be seen, it should be seen multiple times, alone and with friends. It's an amazingly simple story that really opens into some complex themes if you let it. When you see it on the shelf March 9th, pick it up.

The World of Tomorrow

Alright, since it seems that I have an audience now... Which is just plain weird, I'm gonna try to get to a review a week again. So here's the deal, movies don't come into my store on Tuesday anymore, we now get the prestreets on Thursday or Friday. What this means I have only 3-4 days to watch all my prestreet rentals over the weekend, even less time if I actually work. I'm going to try and get new movies up, but I'm gonna be taking requests and suggestions as well. So shoot me a request or suggestion at TheScarletRogue@GMail.com Subject Line: MovieGeek Request.

2012

In 2012 the Mayans predicted the end of the world, and they were right. In the year 2012 the planetary alignment causes a blast of Neutrino waves from the sun that melts the earths core, causing the planet to slowly crumble. Jackson Curtis (Cusack) is on a camping trip with his kids when the world starts to end, now he and his family search desperately for a way to escape the madness while the world literally falls apart around them.

Disaster Movies, let me say just one thing about Disaster Movies. They should be awe inspiring. This isn't something subtle here, theres no subtext, or silent menace in the shadow... You are destroying something. A city, a ship, the entire world, something is going to be utterly annihilated and the audience needs to feel it. Say what you will about movies like Volcano, Independence Day, or Armageddon(And honestly, I could say a lot.) But they knew how to make the destruction, the disasters of their movies feel disastrous.

2012 is almost comical in that regard. The destruction is so outrageous and the action is so ridiculous that you'll be hurdled out of the experience. It simply feels as though the makers of the movie are trying to make you laugh at the utter destruction of California as a whole. Donuts roll in the path of the protagonists, slow driving old ladies block their path as the road crumbles behind them, and a subway train shoots out of the ground as the heroes take off in a plane. There is nothing to the action except for barely missed it scenes, where inevitably the protagonists will just barely skirt by as something attempts to crush, drop, or explode around them. Many of these moments happen within SECONDS of each other, it's simply too much.

And this is John Cusack, do you know how much you have to work for me to dislike a John Cusack film? He and the cast are really the only saving grace in this film. Sure they're all just stock, nothing more than placeholders between the over the top action and destruction scenes, vessels for us to sit with and take us from explosion to explosion... But with actors like John Cusack, Danny Glover, Woody Harrelson, and Oliver Platt, at least some emotion is drawn from these rather bland characters.

Though even with the horrible things I've just said, it's not as horrible as I expected. I was expecting from word of mouth something truly bad, and got something merely poor. It's not a good movie, that's for sure. And while it fails, even in regards to it's own genre, you won't be gnawing your own foot off to escape it if you pick it up. It's certainly not a purchase, though, only a rental.

And I just got through the entire review without ranting why the theories behind 2012 are wrong. I'm quite proud of myself.

Movie Rant: The Future of the 90s

When I first started this blog, I stated that it would contain reviews as well as my general outlook on the movie industry. I have had a few ideas for these Rants in the past, but none that I could really formulate into a solid article. So here's the first of hopefully many Movie Rants...


I am a firm believer in the Retro Rule of 20, of which I have mentioned in my G.I. Joe review. It's a simple rule that the media of today will reflect back fondly upon the days of twenty years ago. The idea is that the now late twenty early 30 somethings who grew up in those days who now have more expendable income than when they were 10 will flock to these properties like they did when they were kids, and generally they do.

The evidence isn't hard to see from the 2000's, with G.I. Joes, Transformers, animated shows like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and He-Man being remade, and even a (somewhat bad) remake of Knight Rider. And going back further we can see such evidence in The Wonder Years, a 90s look back on the 70s, and Happy Days, a 70s look back on the 50s.

So the new decade is upon us, and a new trend of Retro comes with it. Now, I am a 90s kid... As much as I wish to deny it. I try, truly, to relate to the 80s, but I wasn't even 5 when they ended. No I was raised in the 90s, and man... What an undefined decade. Truly meandering about with nothing to claim for itself.

What can be said about the 90s? Well it birthed the Modern Internet, and lead to the Dot Com boom... Which ended badly. It saw the advent of the modern cell phone... which didn't come to popularity till the 2000's... And it brought us the Dark Age of Comics... And that's all I'll say on that.

So what does this say for our Media? Well it's hard to say... Most Television and Movies coming from the 90s aren't heralded very fondly, with most of it's defining features of entertainment being Video Game related. That's not to be said that the entertainment of the 90s was complete garbage, many great movies and television shows came from this decade... But then most of it simply would not work as a remake or revitalization. It's an interesting time, to be honest... I for one can't wait for the Live Action adaptation of Samurai Pizza Cats...

...And now I feel really old.

Only Two things are Certain...

The Final Destination

The Final Destination follows the story of Death's latest List Skippers. A group of four sit within the audience of a NASCAR style Stock Car race, one of which loudly admits to only being there in hopes of a crash. The main character Nick has a vision of such a crash, so horrible it kills dozens of people including him and his friends. Distraught, he quickly rushes his friends and a few bystanders out of the Speedway, in which moments later the vision comes true. Shortly after they find that Death is stalking them, picking them off in the order they should have died in during the accident.


Lets get right down to this and not beat around the bush... The Final Destination, as opposed to Final Destination 4, is a gore porn. It serves no real merit as a Horror or Thriller movie. People who follow the series KNOW the characters are going to die, and expect it en mass. Now there's nothing wrong with that, Splatter Spectacles like Hostel or The Hills Have Eyes do a wonderful job of showing you grotesquery and making you squirm in your seat at it. But this?

The movie is littered with bad CGI, scenes that scream "this is supposed to be in 3D", and pretty bland death scenes. I'm not joking, the deaths in this are pretty boring and tame compared to the others save for maybe two. And when you're making such a blatant Spectacle Horror like this, your audience is expecting the absurd.

One thing that personally bugged me was the huge Red Herring in the middle of the movie (there are several red herrings throughout...) Where an entire death scene set up is thrown away with no payoff, only to lead to the actual death scene which is utterly forgettable. This wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't shown a can of hairspray sliding across the counter, moved by death, and then have it accumulate to nothing.

Towards the end of the movie, the story goes so far as to break it's own rules, completely negating the 'order of death' staple the series had had since the beginning in favor of a large climactic end, in which it's best death is used, and then completely negated.

The creators have stated that this is the last Final Destination movie, which implies some sort of culmination, a climax of the entire series as opposed to just another group of people trying to outwit a personified concept. This does come, sort of. It's a quickly uttered and easy to miss line at the climax of the film, a character postulating that maybe everything is Death's design, completely negating the entire point of the entire Final Destination series.

Though do to the success of this film (most likely due to the fact that it was a Gore Porn in 3D) there have been talks of continuing... Though I quite honestly feel the series should have ended shortly before Final Destination 3 went into production.

The Final Destination comes to DVD on the Fifth, it's competent for it's genre and has a few good spectacles, but is completely forgettable with no lasting impression...

Concentration

Alright so this is an odd one, as it is my first request review! So lets move on to...

District 9

District 9 Starts in the 1980s, giving exposition on a Space Ship that comes to a halt over Johannesburg, South Africa. Apparently stalled, or broken, the local powers take the alien race (Called the Prawn in a derogatory sense due to their appearance) down to the city and place them in a camp, called District 9. 20 years pass and District 9 is very much a slum, crime and corruption have plagued the Prawn, who are treated as lower class. Humans demand that they be removed from their city... The city hires MNU to relocated the Prawn to Dictrict 10, who place Wikus van de Merwe in charge of the relocation.

While handing out Eviction Notices Wilkus is infected, and begins transforming into a Prawn, this leads him in a three way battle while he tries to stay away from MNU who wish to use him to discover the secrets of Prawn Weaponry, change himself back to normal so he can return to his life, and possibly help the Prawn escape from their current fate.


A very long Synopsis for a very complex movie. Now this may be touted as a Sci-Fi action, but more than that, it's a MESSAGE movie. Several messages in fact from Xenophobia, to Corporate Corruption, to of course the most obvious the morality of Concentration Camps. This is the movie that's interested in making you think... While the action is great, it certainly is not a Popcorn Flick.

The movie itself is a sort of convergence of the Handycam and Traditional Cinema styles. Parts of the movie, mostly the beginning and end are shot in Documentary Style, giving the back story and setting up the plot. It explores the world the movie creates and sets the mood before beginning the actual story.

This I feel makes the messages the movie pushes seem less forced and in your face, making it more natural to the movie. This film takes the time to build a setting before throwing the audience to the protagonist to progress the actual film.

One of the other intriguing things I find with this film is that the protagonist, Wilkus, is not a good man. He's not a bad man, but he does not make one heroic act until an hour and a half into the film, and until about halfway into the second act he treats the Prawn with no more respect than anyone else, treating them like dim witted beasts. Until the explosive finale, Wilkus simply stumbles through the film, interested in filling his own needs, and keeping himself alive. Following a man like this is almost refreshing compared to the righteous freedom fighter proxies for Jesus that litter the Action Sci-Fi genre's main characters.

The movie really takes it's time to show you how a people can be brought down not by their own fault, as it is clear that the Prawn were once incredibly intelligent, but in District 9 seem to portray every slumish ghetto stereotype. They're dim, ill mannered, and seem quick to violent acts when confused. Truly a failing from the generation before them as they have no access to education, or economic opportunity. Those that govern them either want nothing to do with them, hoping to keep them away from the general population...

The movie hammers these many points in without getting on a soap box about it. You should know this before thinking of picking it up, because if you're simply looking for an action movie with aliens, you'll be quite disappointed. While the action is very well done, there are only a handful of them, and most come late in the second act, before coming to an explosive finale in the third.

District 9, though, may have been misclassified, as this is a prime example of modern Science Fiction. A story that takes fantastical and often alien plot elements to make a statement about some moral aspect of the world today. And this movie does a great job with it.

I do highly recommend this to anyone looking for an 'Action' movie with some actual depth to the plot.

Yo Joe

G.I. JOE
The Rise of Cobra

Now, before I even start in on this movie, let me discuss a bit on it's origin. In the mid-60s, after the phenomenal success of Barbie, Hasbro decided to make a 'doll for boys'. But what molded soft plastic toy would little boys want? Well an action man of course, a man's man, a soldier. There was born the original 12 inch G.I. Joe 'Action Figures'. Meant to represent the four arms of the military, and little else.

But that's not the toys WE remember playing with, nor the one we're here to speak on today. No we're talking the Real American Hero relaunch that came with a television show in the early 80's. Now the toys were not just soldiers, but an elite counter-terrorism squad fighting against the evil of Cobra, which just happened to BE a Terrorist organization.

Here we found a story. In essence, it was simply to create a 'reason' for the toys, but it grew from there. Over 20 years of revivals and revisions, it's hit every form of media from Television, to Comics, to several animated feature length films. It, like most things from the 80s that now sits in the essence of retro pop culture, is ingrained into 20-30 something's collective minds.

So, as is the Rule of Retro, if it's 20 years old, it's time to capitalize on the market. The kids of the 80s are now at the age where they have expendable income. They made a movie, following in the footsteps of another 80s property that started as a toy line turned Saturday Morning Cartoon. (Transformers, duh?)

When I saw the trailers oh so long ago, my initial reaction was bad. I had only two real complaints, but large ones. First were the Accelerator Suits. Far be it from me for knocking a movie based off a 30 minute Accessories Not Included commercial, but they looked so alien in this movie. It almost felt like they were making a G.I. Joe Halo crossover featuring two Master Chiefs... It was petty, but it felt as if it would detract from the style of the original material.

My second? What the hell was Marlon Wayne doing in the film? Now I do not hate Marlon, in fact I think he's a really funny comedic actor... when used right. The problem seems that he finds himself in movies he has no right to be in, where his style of comedy comes off more annoying than funny... Again it may seem petty, but putting a near slap stick comedian in an Action Movie seemed... off.

I was all ready to sit down to this and rip it a new one, but here's the thing... I liked it. It was a fun movie. And while the Power Armor annoyed me somewhat, they are used in only one scene and then never used again. Marlon Wayne's character was also a surprise, as he did not come off as a slapstick comedy side kick.

The FEEL of G.I. Joe is intact (aside from the aforementioned power armor scene) with each battle filled with explosions and hectic stunts. The characters are very likable on both sides with a few exceptions... Snake Eyes and White Shadow of course at the top of the list there, their story in the background to the main still comes off strong without detracting from the progression of the plot.

And then there's Cobra. I loved this, in the TV Series, Cobra Commander was, to be blunt, a joke. His raspy screeching voice, and tendency to never come out ahead or have any real tactical intelligence aside from screaming 'Attack' at the top of his lungs hardly made him an intimidating figure. Here he is sadistic, hate filled, and all of what you would expect from a Cartoon Villain given a PG-13 bump.

That's not to say I enjoyed it all. The first fifteen or so minutes of introduction to the actual Joes, they rattle off all the G.I. Joe tag lines in rapid succession, Realistic Hair and Kung Fu Grip, all American hero, and Knowing is Half the Battle are wedged into the dialogue. The Baroness, while at the beginning of the movie feels faithfully re-created, gets her character trashed due to the forced love story...

As well as Duke of all characters. He feels rather... bland. The only real characterization coming from the love story that was shoe horned into the movie. He added no real depth to the film aside from 'romantic action lead'. This was a shame since in the TV series he's all but the main character.

Though I still enjoyed this film. It, like Transformers, was able to be taken from campy 80s cartoon and turned into a nice Action Flick. And I must admit, I am glad to hear they will be making a sequel. Go ahead and give it a look when it comes out on the 3rd.

Bump in the Night

Cough cough, ahem... Dusty over here. Yes, just under a year since my last review, I come back. Why did I leave? Lack of motivation, interest, watching and reviewing movies felt forced, and I didn't like that.

So why have I brought this little review site back? I wanna talk about a very special movie. A movie you may never have heard of, or have heard fantastic lies from all the rumors surrounding this wonderfully marketed via word of mouth film. That film...

Paranormal Activity

I've decided to stop doing numbers, simply because telling you how much the movie made does not reflect how good a movie is. Not any bias here, this movie doesn't have numbers yet...

Paranormal Activity is a documentation of the events of a couple over the period of a few weeks. Having recently purchased an expensive video camera, Micah plans to record all of the strange occurrences that have been happening around the home he shares with his girlfriend Katie. Over the following days the force that plagues them becomes more and more aggressive, putting great stress on the couple.

This movie is interesting on several fronts. It's marketed completely by word of mouth, a tactic that has mutated into rumors about states having banned the film, that the film will only have midnight showings, and that it is the best horror movie ever made. Only one of these rumors is true.

It's a Handycam film, which I have mentioned before is a style of film making I believe can bring new life into a genre, and here it comes to bring new life into the Haunted House genre. The thing about Handycam films that it's detractors don't seem to realize is no, it's not cheap, or a gimmick, it's a way for viewers to be drawn into a film on a deeper level. We're not watching this film from a magic window in the characters lives, we're THERE, with the camera, it's more visceral and gripping than sitting behind a fake camera...

It is also, of course, touted as true events, which is okay. There's nothing wrong with a Handycam film claiming to be found footage of a real event to build upon it's own reality, it's par for the course... And this film doesn't leave anything out, even having the actors use their real names on camera to keep from needing a credit roll.

But enough of me spouting out my love for the hand held film... Lets get to the movie. It's amazing how...simple it is. The concept isn't exactly unexplored, it is a haunted house movie... well, a haunted person movie. But it's done so... subtly. Each scene progresses the plot only as much as it needs to, it's slow moving and methodical, each event coming with more intensity. It leaves you anxious in your seat as you wait to see what will happen...Will it be horrible? Will it be insignificant?

Another thing this movie does well is the switch. It starts off relatively harmless. The 'paranormal activities' caught are barely anything to worry about. I kept getting angry at the theater goers around me as they giggled and chortled at a door moving or the reaction of the couple to a loud bang... I shook my head with grief, feeling that the atmosphere was being destroyed by some dopes.

Then the movie kept going, the giggles, the laughter, they still came. But they came with less frequency. As the movie neared it's end, and the intensity of each scene topples the last, as these two characters are suddenly taken from mild annoyances to vicious and dangerous forces, the laughter stopped. Gasps and shocked cries replaced them. At the final minutes of the film, I heard fear and worry in the voices of the patrons, and I too was gripped with fear.

This movie starts off with nothing, it lures you in with a false sense of security, and then lashes out at you. People walk in to a horror film expecting to be frightened, so they put their guard up. This movie works on removing those guards, letting you ease in to the film before terrorizing you with the climax.

This is a movie you NEED to see. And you should see it in Theaters. The tag line states "Do not see it alone" and that is not because of how frightening the movie is, but because the experuience of an entire theater shifting from guffaws to shrieks is one you should never miss.

Go see it.

We. Don't. Know. Yet.

Well it's been a little while, I'm not worrying about it though, jack all's come out that I haven't already reviewed or is even worth reviewing... So lets get into this. It's gonna be a tough one for me.

Expelled:
No Intelligence Allowed

Expelled opened up with a total of $2,970,848 it's first weekend, and went on to make $7,690,545 domestic and total, as there was no world wide release. This movie was released in 1,052 theaters across the country... So the number is pretty small overall.

This film is a documentary exploring the notion that Intelligent Design is being blocked out of academia by the scientific community, and those scientist who promote Intelligent Design are being ostracized.

I'm going to try very hard not to let my personal opinions surface... But I simply cannot do this review without them. This movie is polarizing, if you think one way you will be infuriated... If you think another you will shout out that it's the bare truth of the argument. Personally, the movie infuriated me. I felt it gloss over the facts, mislead it's interviewees shamelessly into giving the answer they want, and seemed to be to me not about a block from the Scientific Community, but rather a ploy to poke holes in Evolution.

One thing that really aggravated me was the notion that when a scientist, skeptic, or other advocate for Evolution would state that we do not yet know how or why something works, Ben Stein would instantly push that 'Why couldn't a designer do it?' It's one issue I've always wondered...Why is not knowing bad? Why do we have to fill in the gaps before observation occurs.

The problem I see, is that blocking Intelligent Design from Academia is a good thing... (Personal feelings warning). The idea of forcing a supernatural force (a designer) into the realm of science is simply not acceptable. It is something forever unobservable, and therefor cannot be accepted. Supernatural by definition means something beyond nature...And science, in essence at least, is the study of natural phenomena.

It is also bad science overall, where IDers grasp to a solution, and work backwards to prove it, whereas science is supposed to observe, test, and explore before coming to any solution... These issues were never brought up in the film. It simply tried to drill holes into Evolution and say 'See it doesn't work, ours does' and then provide no evidence. (Personal views end)

One aspect of this film I found unforgivable was the assertion that the Nazi movement was based off of Darwinism... It was a move that made me grit my teeth as it was once again a diluted and misrepresented point. Nazism is based off a broken and misunderstanding of Darwinism and Evolution... No species could possibly survive by bottlenecking the gene pool into one race... A point never brought up.

The movie brought this argument against Evolution while continuingly telling us 'of course this does not mean Evolution leads to Nazism.' With a bit of a wink and a nod, still leaning us towards this argument... There is a Rule of the internet known as Godwin's law, simply stating that as an argument progresses, the probability of one side comparing the other to Hitler or Nazism increases. Once invoked, it is generally considered that the person who brought it up...has lost.

Though I say again there is a chancce, depending on your personal leanings on the subject, that you will love this movie. But know that it will not sway you towards Intelligent Design. It's not meant to... It's only purpous is to try and drag the Scientific Community down a notch so that their 'Science' can be accepted...

If you see Expelled on the shelves on the 21st, I would say to weigh your personal beliefes on the subject heavily before picking it up.

Shall We Play a Game

Okay well it's been a while since my last review, choppy schedule has limited my access to movies, but I do think it's better than my last stretch of no updates. So lets get right into...

WarGames:
The Dead Code

As a Direct to DVD flick this movie has no official numbers. I do wish I knew a site that tracked DVD sales, I hate leaving this spot so sparse.

Set 25 years after the first movie, it follows a young hacker named Will Farmer. Will, in attempt to make some cash, inadvertently becomes the target of R.I.P.L.E.Y a super computer designed to search out and terminate terrorists.

Lets talk about a different movie for a moment, that movie being WarGames. The 1983 movie that first showcased Matthew Broderick's acting talents. It was a movie that dealt with many subjects, the advance of technology in the 80s with Computers and the budding start of what would become the Internet, Paranoia in the middle of the Cold War, and Nuclear Stalemate... The latter being such a strong subject that it alone makes the movie great.

So how do you follow such a movie? Does it's story need to be continued? I remember hearing about the big promotion for this film... Movie Theaters all over were going to put the original WarGames on the big screen for one night, followed by exclusive info on the upcoming sequel. I didn't really care aboue the new movie, I just wanted to see one of the greatest films to come out of the 80s on the big screen.... Unfortunately my local theater, though advertising it before every single movie I saw there for three months, told me adamantly they were not showing it.

So when this movie came out I waited the alloted month and rented it to see if it held up (I couldn't get it pre-street because we got it in late). The verdict? Sort of... The movie starts off really weak and stale. The premise of tracking terrorists through online games really came off as ludicrious... I don't think terrorists are funding themselves by gaming online for cash.

But then the movie continued, and about halfway through I started getting more into it... True this only happened because of the introduction of two chraracters from the first film the second one literally having me cry out with glee... Cheap move? Yes, but suprisingly it worked. Hell until these characters were mentioned I didn't even know it was a direct sequel, I just thought it was a genre sequel.

In the end this movie is not horrible, and does pick up towards the end. It may pick up at the end because it becomes even MORE like the original film, but it sort of works. I wouldn't suggest a purchase for a collection, but a rental might be in order if you enjoy these kind of boarderline morals of techology films.

Death

Nng... There is only one kind of movie that leaves that kind of taste in my mouth, yes it is once more another film by The Asylum...

Death Racers

As an Asylum Flick, and there for Direct to DVD, it has no numbers.

In a futuristic dystopian USA in THE 'Red Zone', a sort of open field giant prison, a terrorist known as The Reaper is threatening to put sarin gas into the water supply of America. The govonor of the state sends in several teams of criminal drivers under the guise of a 'Death Race' to catch him.

And again we have a film from the Asylum made to look and play like a major production released in theaters but a couple weeks ago. This of course being Death Race, which in itself is a remake of Death Race 2000. The remake of course featuring Jason Stathan, one of the big names of action films today. The original film was drenched in controversy with it's grusom premise, its a wonder why it was remade, let alone ripped off.

Once more we have another mediocre attempt at film by these people. A movie filled with The Asylums trademarks of bad acting, horrible audio, and choppy editing. The fact that the movie promotes featuring the Insane Clown Posse as a good thing makes me chuckle endlessly... And as it turns out they're actually the only ones in the movie even halfway entertaining (Though that does not say much.

Though it comes hard to review a movie like this since the source material, I mean... The source material's source material is so utterly filled with satire and parody, I can only wonder if the film was trying to emulate that. But then I remember that it's an Asylum flick, which as shown in their previous films means any show of tongue in cheek parody or wit is completely unintentional.

Avoid the film at all costs, if you catch it in the corner of your eye when it comes out on the 16th, don't even turn your head to look at it fully, your head might burst into flames.

Impersonate

...Lets just get right into this one...

Mister Lonely

Mister Lonely was only released in 8 theaters, only one of which it's opening weekend. It opened with $16,769 it's first weekend, and went on to make $167,396 national and $347,600 world wide.

The movie is about a Micheal Jackson impersonator living in Paris. One day he meets a Marylin Monroe impersonator who tells Micheal of a commune completely populated with other impersonators.

This movie... When I saw it at work I skipped over it, not intending to take it out. Later in the week I decided to pick it up since I still had a rental available. I now wish I hadn't.

This is a movie attempting to escape criticism by being 'artsy' and everyone knows you can't criticize art... Anyone who does appears to be a snob. But it's simply... inane. The movie goes nowhere, with most of the characters simply walking around and acting strange... There also seems to be a second, completely different movie hidden within about nuns leaping from planes. (Apparently there is a connection between the Nuns and main story, but I had to find a quite from the director to see what it was)

All the characters are two dimensional, none have any true emotional depth... I know they are trying to portray other people (at which they are not very good at, but that may be part of the story so that gets a pass) but it's ridiculous... From the foul mouthed Lincoln to the abusive bullying Charlie Chaplin... They're all stock, and they're all cliched. And Buckwheat... with his bizarre and out right creepy obsession with chickens...It completely took me out of the movie. Not that I was that far into it.

The movie fell short for me... If you're heavily into the artsy and indie films I guess I could suggest this movie to you when it releases on the 16th. I just hope that you will see the movie for what it is, and not simply hold it on a pedestal as a pinnacle of surreal art.

Made Maid

Keeping right on down the list lets move on to the next.

Made of Honor

Made of Honor started off with $14,756,850 it's opening weekend, it went on to make $46,012,734 national and pulled in a total of $101,325,310 world wide... Which is quite impressive.

The movie is about a man, Tom Bailey, a womanizer with a best friend of ten years, Hannah. When she leaves for Scotland for six weeks Tom realizes he loves her, only to find out she is engaged upon her return. Asked to be the Maid of Honor, Tom seeks to prove to Hannah that he is the right man for her.

This movie... is pretty formulaic. It follows the same path most 'chick flicks' do. Not to say it's bad, it's simply...shallow. If you have seen My Best Friend's Wedding you have seen Made of Honor. It simply brings nothing new to the table.

That doesn't mean the film does not have a spark. The cast is great, the jokes are funny and well delivered, and it does put a smile on your face... It would have to though, it's every romantic comedy you've seen that involves a man bursting through the doors, quite coincidentally as the Priest says 'speak now or forever hold your peace.'

The movie is standard, and that's not good. But that is not bad either so if you are looking for a romantic comedy to watch with your loved one, go ahead and pick up Made of Honor when it releases the 16th.

Love

So number two on the list. I should be able to finish the rest before bed... But lets just keep going.

The Love Guru

The love Guru pulled $13,907,130 it's opening weekend and went on to make $32,200,122 national and $38,428,159 world wide.

The Love Guru is about Guru Maurice Pitka, a relationship Guru who is hired to help the Toronto Leaf's star player Darren Roanoke get back together with his wide to restore his confidence so that the team can win the Championship.

When I saw this movie advertised I shook my head, it seemed like simply an attempt to grasp something out of the dead Austin Powers series. It felt like more of the same, and that's pretty much what it is. Strip out the fact that the characters are different, you'll find yourself in a comedy that is very Austin Powers.

But that's not to say it's bad... Austin Powers was very popular and continued to draw in fans up till the third film... What I am saying is that it's nothing new. Mike Meyers fans will enjoy it, many others may simply give it a pass. I'm not exactly sure why it was so horrendously trashed by critics...It's not horrible and I even found myself laughing a few times.

If you found yourself a fan of the Austin Powers movies, or Mike Meyers in general you might wanna pick this up. It's not the greatest movie in his career but it'll still entertain you. If you're a fan of wacky comedies I'd also tell you to pick it up for the same reason. If you're looking for something a bit more...subtle. Keep on moving.

Tick Tock

Okay, first up in hopefully several updates today...

88 Minutes

The movie opened in with a weekend grossing $6,957,216 it went on to pull in $16,930,884 national and brought in a total of $30,667,634 world wide. A respectable number.

The film follows Pacino's character, Dr. Jack Gramm, a Forensic Psychologist for the FBI who's testimony put away a suspected serial killer on death row nine years previous. As a copycat killer emerges Jack receives a phone call telling him he has 88 minutes to live. Jack must them pull the pieces together to find out the truth of it all.

I would like to say how odd this movie is. Not the film, just the fact that I was interested. I generally don't like Pacino... Nothing against the man, I just generally feel his acting comes off as sluggish. Now this is simply my opinion, I understand that he is thought of as one of THE greatest actors of all time. I personally enjoy his performance in Insomnia, where I felt he was very adept at portraying a man who has not slept in seven days.

So when I saw this movie, and saw Pacino in it, I found it odd that I was drawn in. The idea behind it intrigued me and I found myself snatching up a copy when it came into the store. Now that I've seen it I feel I may have been over eager.

This is not because of Pacino, far from it... He was rather excellent in the film... Most things were actually. The acting is decent, the pacing is nicely done, and the film is put together in a very well made way...But it was just something. It does not grab you at all, there is very little emotion in this film and what little there is feels forced and awkward, like it belongs in a different film.

There was a spark to the film,a draw, a catalyst to greatness...But nothing ignites. The film simply plays, uncaring in the audience is along for the ride. And it's a shame too... There was true potential for greatness, and the entire film was done well. There was just something important missed....Something not grasped that would have saved it and made it wonderful.

The movie releases on on the 16th. If you're looking for a suspense film you could do better, but since most other releases seem to be in the action or comedy venue, you could definitely pick this film up and not be too disappointed.

How Good is Your Kung Fu?

This on the list and probably the last for tonight. I'll be watching 88 Minutes after this, but will probably head to bed afterward and do the review in the morning... So...

The Forbidden Kingdom

Forbidden Kingdom opened up in theaters bringing in $21,401,121 it's first weekend. It went on to make $52,075,270 national and a total of $111,604,290 world wide

The movie follows a young man, Jason, who is a fan of martial arts films. He spends a great deal of time in an old Chinese Pawn shop, searching for bootlegged martial arts movie...While there he finds a staff, one he has seen in his dreams... When he takes it he is whisked away to the forbidden kingdom, charged with the task of returning the staff to the Monkey King.

You may remember in an earlier post I mentioned wishing to see this film in theaters, but was never able to. I wanted to see it for the reason many did... If you ask around who people thought the greatest Martial Artist was in film alive today you would probably get a majority of two answers, Jackie Chan or Jet Li... You may get Stephan Chow, but those people are just being smart.

This film is the first time these two greats meet... and of course fight. And is probably the single reason most people saw the film. But the movie itself is great none the less, taken from a western fairy tale the screen writer told his son, based of the Eastern tales of the monkey king, it takes bits and pieces of old martial arts and mixes them nicely to come out with a great family film.

That's right, this film is great... But it is a family film, which may deter some fans going in expecting Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon or House of Flying Daggers. The film plays for young and old... It's visually stunning and well paced... It's all around well made and I highly suggest it to pretty much anyone who enjoys an good old fashion fairy tale.

Booooo!

This one I actually did plan on putting up. I had what I planned to write all down... But I never got around to it because I could not find a poster for the film online. No joke, when I was looking there was none. I was lucky to find one just now. I know a pictures not necessary, but I like em. Gives more weight to the post.

Heckler

Heckler is a direct to DVD film that has no box office numbers.

The film is a documentary by Jamie Kennedy that deals with Hecklers, and goes into the practice of critique. It's filled with comedians who share their opinions on the people who shout at them on stage, and the people who slam them on paper.

Now this...Is obviously a difficult movie to review, for me personally since I do this on my off time. I like to think I'm fair and never actually described myself as a Critic. I only review movies. The movie does seem to lash out at critics when you watch it... But if you watch the commentary you will hear from Kennedy himself that he does believe critics are necessary, and the movie was aimed at those who believe their opinions are doctrine, and those who make a career attacking Actors as opposed to critiquing the film.

Again... I like to think I am fair... I don't believe I have ever once specifically attacked an actor, and most of my reviews, even when negative tend to try and find the good. I can only vouch for my opinion of the movie, and can only speak for those who share my taste in film, and yet I still try to take a step back and find an audience who might enjoy the film and suggest it to them.

I do attack the Asylum, yes, but I think that's slightly different because I do not attack them at a personal level, I do not like their business practice, and they do not produce quality films. It's less me hating them baselessly and more me angered by their disrespect for movie goers and even other filmmakers.

Now, as you can tell from how much this movie made me think on this subject, I truley enjoyed it. It's filled with smart funny people, some who have been spurned by reviews, critics, and all who have had to deal with a heckler. I suggest it to anyone with more than a passing interest in film or Stand Up comedy...

(Also I highly recommend the commentary track. You can hear how the movie which looks so professionally shot, was actually made on the fly and from the seat of Jamie and the director's pants.)

Dear Diary

Okay so it's time to get off my ass. I have a few reviews I've been sitting on for a little too long now. I didn't post them because, well... I'm lazy. It's all I can really say. But I will be posting them tonight, and as an added bonus I have a stack...STACK of movies on my desk, four of which are pre-streets. I am going to try my hardest to get through them all, but seeing as they all need to go back before Tuesday (IE Monday) it may be hard. Though lets movie right on to...

Diary of the Dead

The movie, diary of the dead, actually did come out in theaters. This actually surprised me as I had previously thought that it was a direct to DVD. The movie opened in 42 theaters and brought in $232,576 it's opening weekend. It topped at 48 theaters and brought in $958,961 national and $4,566,999 world wide. This may seem like small potatoes, and it is... But it did manage to double production costs, labeling it a success financially.

The movie takes place in the same world of the other Dead movies... This one specifically takes place during the events of Night, assuming Night took place in modern day. It follows the story of a handful of college students simply trying to escape the horrors that have befallen and find some sort of shelter to keep safe, all the while filming all the events.

This is yet another Handycam film, though this time with the slight twist of post editing and a second camera... This is done by explaining that one of the survivors decided that these things needed to be seen and edited together to 'show us the truth. I found this very well done. The second camera gives us larger scope of whats happening as we can now split off to see whats happening off screen of the first camera. Just as well the post editing factor gives a better flow to the movie as the film isn't obligated to show 'realism' and have the audience question why the camera man turned the camera on or off at a given scene.

I say it again, I think handycam films are great. Well no, I think what a handycam film can do for a genre... There are cam videos I do not like, example include Monster and the Blair Witch Project (Note: The Blair Witch Project was marketed PERFECTLY with it's viral advertisments, and keeping everything under wraps to keep the 'reality'...But the movie itself had a very bland plot, and no actual script. The actors were told to improv, and thats why you hear 'Fuck' every third word.)

But what Handycam films do is allow you to go to a genre that has been tried, tread, and trampled... A genre in which every plot device, every turn, every single thought to make it live again is gone, like the Zombie film, and give it new perspective. You can see these old ideas in a new light. It can give these movies one last hurrah and chance to grace our screens.

Diary of the dead was, to put it simply, great. While looking through the camera man's eyes you could feel the weight on these characters as the world disolves to nothing. There are some truley brilliant shots of decolate cities, and creepy building interiors. The addition of the Media News coverage vs. the power of the Internet also made me smile and was an idea I'm suprised nobody had thought of before. Where the News tries to cover the incidents up, the internet allows the truth to flourish.

If you're a Zombie fan I highly recomend Diary of the Dead, it's everything you love with new eyes.

Golden Ticket

I apologize in advance for the title of this review. But hey I'm here...Yes it's been quite some time, admittedly longer than my usual 'nothing good is out' hiatuses... But that's the fact, nothings out that I really want to review. I know that's a cop out and if I wanted to I could find something...But as this Review Site is intended to motivate me to write, I would like to do movies I'd enjoy actually writing about. But no worries, new releases will start in September and only grow up to December. Well now that I've ranted away for a full paragraph lets move on to...

Two Tickets to Paradise

Two Tickets to Paradise I believe ran the Indie Circuit film festivals, I don't think it ever had an official release, making its only numbers DVD sales and no Box Office. I say this simply because I cannot find any info on it's release... anywhere.

Two Tickets to Paradise, formerly named Dirt Nap, is about three nearly-40 year old men who's lives did not turn out as planned. Down on their luck they take a road trip down to Florida when one of the men wins two tickets to the College Football World Championship... Along the way they contemplate their lives...

I have to admit... I only had an interest in watching this movie because John C. McGinley was in it. I find him awesome in any form and wish he would do more work.

But what I found there, was a brilliantly done Black Comedy about three men finding themselves in their mid-life and realizing they aren't where they were supposed to be and instead of facing their problems and fixing their lives they run off on a road trip, and contemplate suicide.

Each scene blends the dry wit and dark humor with each characters story and how they promptly don't deal with it. It's a unique and well made movie and worth a watch from anyone who's a fan of the less silly side of comedy.