Geek Vs AVH

And so I make my first review since my return, I actually consider a Public Service Announcement as well as just wanting SOMETHING up here besides my "I'm back" post. The movie I am reviewing is...

AVH Alien vs. Hunter

If you are noticing something slightly familiar don't be surprised... It is in fact what you think it is. A cheap imitation of the AVP sequel. This is the part of the review where I usually start quoting numbers. But I cannot find any. This was a direct to DVD release, and therefore has no box office numbers. The movie is produced by a company called The Asylum, who is no stranger to the rip art of rip off. With movies like I Am Omega, Snakes on a Train, and a Handycam film about a monster attacking a city in Japan called, originally enough, Monster... Which I might actually watch and review next week if I'm feeling self destructive enough.

The movie premise itself is pretty simple, if you've watched AVP Requiem, you already know it. The most deadly alien in the universe lands on Earth, followed by a hunter sworn to take it down. A small town and it's inhabitants get trapped in the crossfires.

This review might not be too thorough as I honestly could not finish watching it. I know it may sound a bit unprofessional, but it was truly unwatchable. I picked this movie up out of morbid curiosity and went in expecting certain things. Bad acting; yes, unoriginal story and boring characters; yes and yes, cheap effects; so many. But I was not expecting such a bland experience. The story, characters, and acting is so dry, so uninvolving that you pray for the aliens to come just so you can get away from the main characters, and perhaps lose a few of them. But when that happens we are treated to an action sequence that consists of the main cast running around quite honestly like crazy people, and most of the time the aliens simply stagger about as if it's hard to move around in their costumes.

The similarities to AVP is never subtle. The alien is a slimey grotesque beast with a long dome like head. The Hunter is a high tech humanoid wearing a sort of battle suit carrying a powerful laser weapon, cloaking capability, and his helmet gives him different types of vision fields.

I cannot in good conscience recommend this movie to anyone. When picking it up a co-worker had chuckled slightly and told me it might be a good movie to MS3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000), meaning a good movie to watch and make fun of... But honestly I can't even say that.

If you ever do find this movie on the shelf of whatever video store you frequent, put it down and walk away. There are too many other B Sci-Fi films which are better than this. It is one of the worst films I have ever seen.

Return of Movie Geek

Okay... Well, I have been away for quite some time. Maybe it's for the best, as my opinions and information of certain movies wouldn't be called... correct. I was debating simply deleting my old posts and starting anew. But I don't think I will, those were my early attempts at doing something I had never done previously. I think I should own up to them. "Yes. I was once a novice. I made mistakes, though now I am better."

Least I hope I am.

Why have I brought back a blog I haven't updated in nearly three years? A couple reasons actually. I need a place to hone my writing skills, I want to become better, and sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself into doing it. This will give me a chance to write, while doing something I enjoy doing, talking about movies.

The second reason is that I am now financially more secure (sort of) than I was when I wrote this before. I also have a new job which gives me better access to movies (Blockbuster). This means I will always have access to SOME form of movie to review.

I will still be doing Theater movies, but it's not a guaranteed. I simply am unable to get to the theaters as much as I'd like. Hopefully if all goes well, I will have an Iron Man review for you tomorrow night.

Hopefully I can keep this thing going, hopefully I can improve not only my writing skills but my opinion and view of movies in general... Hopefully someone will actually read this.