We. Don't. Know. Yet.

Well it's been a little while, I'm not worrying about it though, jack all's come out that I haven't already reviewed or is even worth reviewing... So lets get into this. It's gonna be a tough one for me.

Expelled:
No Intelligence Allowed

Expelled opened up with a total of $2,970,848 it's first weekend, and went on to make $7,690,545 domestic and total, as there was no world wide release. This movie was released in 1,052 theaters across the country... So the number is pretty small overall.

This film is a documentary exploring the notion that Intelligent Design is being blocked out of academia by the scientific community, and those scientist who promote Intelligent Design are being ostracized.

I'm going to try very hard not to let my personal opinions surface... But I simply cannot do this review without them. This movie is polarizing, if you think one way you will be infuriated... If you think another you will shout out that it's the bare truth of the argument. Personally, the movie infuriated me. I felt it gloss over the facts, mislead it's interviewees shamelessly into giving the answer they want, and seemed to be to me not about a block from the Scientific Community, but rather a ploy to poke holes in Evolution.

One thing that really aggravated me was the notion that when a scientist, skeptic, or other advocate for Evolution would state that we do not yet know how or why something works, Ben Stein would instantly push that 'Why couldn't a designer do it?' It's one issue I've always wondered...Why is not knowing bad? Why do we have to fill in the gaps before observation occurs.

The problem I see, is that blocking Intelligent Design from Academia is a good thing... (Personal feelings warning). The idea of forcing a supernatural force (a designer) into the realm of science is simply not acceptable. It is something forever unobservable, and therefor cannot be accepted. Supernatural by definition means something beyond nature...And science, in essence at least, is the study of natural phenomena.

It is also bad science overall, where IDers grasp to a solution, and work backwards to prove it, whereas science is supposed to observe, test, and explore before coming to any solution... These issues were never brought up in the film. It simply tried to drill holes into Evolution and say 'See it doesn't work, ours does' and then provide no evidence. (Personal views end)

One aspect of this film I found unforgivable was the assertion that the Nazi movement was based off of Darwinism... It was a move that made me grit my teeth as it was once again a diluted and misrepresented point. Nazism is based off a broken and misunderstanding of Darwinism and Evolution... No species could possibly survive by bottlenecking the gene pool into one race... A point never brought up.

The movie brought this argument against Evolution while continuingly telling us 'of course this does not mean Evolution leads to Nazism.' With a bit of a wink and a nod, still leaning us towards this argument... There is a Rule of the internet known as Godwin's law, simply stating that as an argument progresses, the probability of one side comparing the other to Hitler or Nazism increases. Once invoked, it is generally considered that the person who brought it up...has lost.

Though I say again there is a chancce, depending on your personal leanings on the subject, that you will love this movie. But know that it will not sway you towards Intelligent Design. It's not meant to... It's only purpous is to try and drag the Scientific Community down a notch so that their 'Science' can be accepted...

If you see Expelled on the shelves on the 21st, I would say to weigh your personal beliefes on the subject heavily before picking it up.

Shall We Play a Game

Okay well it's been a while since my last review, choppy schedule has limited my access to movies, but I do think it's better than my last stretch of no updates. So lets get right into...

WarGames:
The Dead Code

As a Direct to DVD flick this movie has no official numbers. I do wish I knew a site that tracked DVD sales, I hate leaving this spot so sparse.

Set 25 years after the first movie, it follows a young hacker named Will Farmer. Will, in attempt to make some cash, inadvertently becomes the target of R.I.P.L.E.Y a super computer designed to search out and terminate terrorists.

Lets talk about a different movie for a moment, that movie being WarGames. The 1983 movie that first showcased Matthew Broderick's acting talents. It was a movie that dealt with many subjects, the advance of technology in the 80s with Computers and the budding start of what would become the Internet, Paranoia in the middle of the Cold War, and Nuclear Stalemate... The latter being such a strong subject that it alone makes the movie great.

So how do you follow such a movie? Does it's story need to be continued? I remember hearing about the big promotion for this film... Movie Theaters all over were going to put the original WarGames on the big screen for one night, followed by exclusive info on the upcoming sequel. I didn't really care aboue the new movie, I just wanted to see one of the greatest films to come out of the 80s on the big screen.... Unfortunately my local theater, though advertising it before every single movie I saw there for three months, told me adamantly they were not showing it.

So when this movie came out I waited the alloted month and rented it to see if it held up (I couldn't get it pre-street because we got it in late). The verdict? Sort of... The movie starts off really weak and stale. The premise of tracking terrorists through online games really came off as ludicrious... I don't think terrorists are funding themselves by gaming online for cash.

But then the movie continued, and about halfway through I started getting more into it... True this only happened because of the introduction of two chraracters from the first film the second one literally having me cry out with glee... Cheap move? Yes, but suprisingly it worked. Hell until these characters were mentioned I didn't even know it was a direct sequel, I just thought it was a genre sequel.

In the end this movie is not horrible, and does pick up towards the end. It may pick up at the end because it becomes even MORE like the original film, but it sort of works. I wouldn't suggest a purchase for a collection, but a rental might be in order if you enjoy these kind of boarderline morals of techology films.

Death

Nng... There is only one kind of movie that leaves that kind of taste in my mouth, yes it is once more another film by The Asylum...

Death Racers

As an Asylum Flick, and there for Direct to DVD, it has no numbers.

In a futuristic dystopian USA in THE 'Red Zone', a sort of open field giant prison, a terrorist known as The Reaper is threatening to put sarin gas into the water supply of America. The govonor of the state sends in several teams of criminal drivers under the guise of a 'Death Race' to catch him.

And again we have a film from the Asylum made to look and play like a major production released in theaters but a couple weeks ago. This of course being Death Race, which in itself is a remake of Death Race 2000. The remake of course featuring Jason Stathan, one of the big names of action films today. The original film was drenched in controversy with it's grusom premise, its a wonder why it was remade, let alone ripped off.

Once more we have another mediocre attempt at film by these people. A movie filled with The Asylums trademarks of bad acting, horrible audio, and choppy editing. The fact that the movie promotes featuring the Insane Clown Posse as a good thing makes me chuckle endlessly... And as it turns out they're actually the only ones in the movie even halfway entertaining (Though that does not say much.

Though it comes hard to review a movie like this since the source material, I mean... The source material's source material is so utterly filled with satire and parody, I can only wonder if the film was trying to emulate that. But then I remember that it's an Asylum flick, which as shown in their previous films means any show of tongue in cheek parody or wit is completely unintentional.

Avoid the film at all costs, if you catch it in the corner of your eye when it comes out on the 16th, don't even turn your head to look at it fully, your head might burst into flames.

Impersonate

...Lets just get right into this one...

Mister Lonely

Mister Lonely was only released in 8 theaters, only one of which it's opening weekend. It opened with $16,769 it's first weekend, and went on to make $167,396 national and $347,600 world wide.

The movie is about a Micheal Jackson impersonator living in Paris. One day he meets a Marylin Monroe impersonator who tells Micheal of a commune completely populated with other impersonators.

This movie... When I saw it at work I skipped over it, not intending to take it out. Later in the week I decided to pick it up since I still had a rental available. I now wish I hadn't.

This is a movie attempting to escape criticism by being 'artsy' and everyone knows you can't criticize art... Anyone who does appears to be a snob. But it's simply... inane. The movie goes nowhere, with most of the characters simply walking around and acting strange... There also seems to be a second, completely different movie hidden within about nuns leaping from planes. (Apparently there is a connection between the Nuns and main story, but I had to find a quite from the director to see what it was)

All the characters are two dimensional, none have any true emotional depth... I know they are trying to portray other people (at which they are not very good at, but that may be part of the story so that gets a pass) but it's ridiculous... From the foul mouthed Lincoln to the abusive bullying Charlie Chaplin... They're all stock, and they're all cliched. And Buckwheat... with his bizarre and out right creepy obsession with chickens...It completely took me out of the movie. Not that I was that far into it.

The movie fell short for me... If you're heavily into the artsy and indie films I guess I could suggest this movie to you when it releases on the 16th. I just hope that you will see the movie for what it is, and not simply hold it on a pedestal as a pinnacle of surreal art.

Made Maid

Keeping right on down the list lets move on to the next.

Made of Honor

Made of Honor started off with $14,756,850 it's opening weekend, it went on to make $46,012,734 national and pulled in a total of $101,325,310 world wide... Which is quite impressive.

The movie is about a man, Tom Bailey, a womanizer with a best friend of ten years, Hannah. When she leaves for Scotland for six weeks Tom realizes he loves her, only to find out she is engaged upon her return. Asked to be the Maid of Honor, Tom seeks to prove to Hannah that he is the right man for her.

This movie... is pretty formulaic. It follows the same path most 'chick flicks' do. Not to say it's bad, it's simply...shallow. If you have seen My Best Friend's Wedding you have seen Made of Honor. It simply brings nothing new to the table.

That doesn't mean the film does not have a spark. The cast is great, the jokes are funny and well delivered, and it does put a smile on your face... It would have to though, it's every romantic comedy you've seen that involves a man bursting through the doors, quite coincidentally as the Priest says 'speak now or forever hold your peace.'

The movie is standard, and that's not good. But that is not bad either so if you are looking for a romantic comedy to watch with your loved one, go ahead and pick up Made of Honor when it releases the 16th.

Love

So number two on the list. I should be able to finish the rest before bed... But lets just keep going.

The Love Guru

The love Guru pulled $13,907,130 it's opening weekend and went on to make $32,200,122 national and $38,428,159 world wide.

The Love Guru is about Guru Maurice Pitka, a relationship Guru who is hired to help the Toronto Leaf's star player Darren Roanoke get back together with his wide to restore his confidence so that the team can win the Championship.

When I saw this movie advertised I shook my head, it seemed like simply an attempt to grasp something out of the dead Austin Powers series. It felt like more of the same, and that's pretty much what it is. Strip out the fact that the characters are different, you'll find yourself in a comedy that is very Austin Powers.

But that's not to say it's bad... Austin Powers was very popular and continued to draw in fans up till the third film... What I am saying is that it's nothing new. Mike Meyers fans will enjoy it, many others may simply give it a pass. I'm not exactly sure why it was so horrendously trashed by critics...It's not horrible and I even found myself laughing a few times.

If you found yourself a fan of the Austin Powers movies, or Mike Meyers in general you might wanna pick this up. It's not the greatest movie in his career but it'll still entertain you. If you're a fan of wacky comedies I'd also tell you to pick it up for the same reason. If you're looking for something a bit more...subtle. Keep on moving.

Tick Tock

Okay, first up in hopefully several updates today...

88 Minutes

The movie opened in with a weekend grossing $6,957,216 it went on to pull in $16,930,884 national and brought in a total of $30,667,634 world wide. A respectable number.

The film follows Pacino's character, Dr. Jack Gramm, a Forensic Psychologist for the FBI who's testimony put away a suspected serial killer on death row nine years previous. As a copycat killer emerges Jack receives a phone call telling him he has 88 minutes to live. Jack must them pull the pieces together to find out the truth of it all.

I would like to say how odd this movie is. Not the film, just the fact that I was interested. I generally don't like Pacino... Nothing against the man, I just generally feel his acting comes off as sluggish. Now this is simply my opinion, I understand that he is thought of as one of THE greatest actors of all time. I personally enjoy his performance in Insomnia, where I felt he was very adept at portraying a man who has not slept in seven days.

So when I saw this movie, and saw Pacino in it, I found it odd that I was drawn in. The idea behind it intrigued me and I found myself snatching up a copy when it came into the store. Now that I've seen it I feel I may have been over eager.

This is not because of Pacino, far from it... He was rather excellent in the film... Most things were actually. The acting is decent, the pacing is nicely done, and the film is put together in a very well made way...But it was just something. It does not grab you at all, there is very little emotion in this film and what little there is feels forced and awkward, like it belongs in a different film.

There was a spark to the film,a draw, a catalyst to greatness...But nothing ignites. The film simply plays, uncaring in the audience is along for the ride. And it's a shame too... There was true potential for greatness, and the entire film was done well. There was just something important missed....Something not grasped that would have saved it and made it wonderful.

The movie releases on on the 16th. If you're looking for a suspense film you could do better, but since most other releases seem to be in the action or comedy venue, you could definitely pick this film up and not be too disappointed.

How Good is Your Kung Fu?

This on the list and probably the last for tonight. I'll be watching 88 Minutes after this, but will probably head to bed afterward and do the review in the morning... So...

The Forbidden Kingdom

Forbidden Kingdom opened up in theaters bringing in $21,401,121 it's first weekend. It went on to make $52,075,270 national and a total of $111,604,290 world wide

The movie follows a young man, Jason, who is a fan of martial arts films. He spends a great deal of time in an old Chinese Pawn shop, searching for bootlegged martial arts movie...While there he finds a staff, one he has seen in his dreams... When he takes it he is whisked away to the forbidden kingdom, charged with the task of returning the staff to the Monkey King.

You may remember in an earlier post I mentioned wishing to see this film in theaters, but was never able to. I wanted to see it for the reason many did... If you ask around who people thought the greatest Martial Artist was in film alive today you would probably get a majority of two answers, Jackie Chan or Jet Li... You may get Stephan Chow, but those people are just being smart.

This film is the first time these two greats meet... and of course fight. And is probably the single reason most people saw the film. But the movie itself is great none the less, taken from a western fairy tale the screen writer told his son, based of the Eastern tales of the monkey king, it takes bits and pieces of old martial arts and mixes them nicely to come out with a great family film.

That's right, this film is great... But it is a family film, which may deter some fans going in expecting Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon or House of Flying Daggers. The film plays for young and old... It's visually stunning and well paced... It's all around well made and I highly suggest it to pretty much anyone who enjoys an good old fashion fairy tale.

Booooo!

This one I actually did plan on putting up. I had what I planned to write all down... But I never got around to it because I could not find a poster for the film online. No joke, when I was looking there was none. I was lucky to find one just now. I know a pictures not necessary, but I like em. Gives more weight to the post.

Heckler

Heckler is a direct to DVD film that has no box office numbers.

The film is a documentary by Jamie Kennedy that deals with Hecklers, and goes into the practice of critique. It's filled with comedians who share their opinions on the people who shout at them on stage, and the people who slam them on paper.

Now this...Is obviously a difficult movie to review, for me personally since I do this on my off time. I like to think I'm fair and never actually described myself as a Critic. I only review movies. The movie does seem to lash out at critics when you watch it... But if you watch the commentary you will hear from Kennedy himself that he does believe critics are necessary, and the movie was aimed at those who believe their opinions are doctrine, and those who make a career attacking Actors as opposed to critiquing the film.

Again... I like to think I am fair... I don't believe I have ever once specifically attacked an actor, and most of my reviews, even when negative tend to try and find the good. I can only vouch for my opinion of the movie, and can only speak for those who share my taste in film, and yet I still try to take a step back and find an audience who might enjoy the film and suggest it to them.

I do attack the Asylum, yes, but I think that's slightly different because I do not attack them at a personal level, I do not like their business practice, and they do not produce quality films. It's less me hating them baselessly and more me angered by their disrespect for movie goers and even other filmmakers.

Now, as you can tell from how much this movie made me think on this subject, I truley enjoyed it. It's filled with smart funny people, some who have been spurned by reviews, critics, and all who have had to deal with a heckler. I suggest it to anyone with more than a passing interest in film or Stand Up comedy...

(Also I highly recommend the commentary track. You can hear how the movie which looks so professionally shot, was actually made on the fly and from the seat of Jamie and the director's pants.)

Dear Diary

Okay so it's time to get off my ass. I have a few reviews I've been sitting on for a little too long now. I didn't post them because, well... I'm lazy. It's all I can really say. But I will be posting them tonight, and as an added bonus I have a stack...STACK of movies on my desk, four of which are pre-streets. I am going to try my hardest to get through them all, but seeing as they all need to go back before Tuesday (IE Monday) it may be hard. Though lets movie right on to...

Diary of the Dead

The movie, diary of the dead, actually did come out in theaters. This actually surprised me as I had previously thought that it was a direct to DVD. The movie opened in 42 theaters and brought in $232,576 it's opening weekend. It topped at 48 theaters and brought in $958,961 national and $4,566,999 world wide. This may seem like small potatoes, and it is... But it did manage to double production costs, labeling it a success financially.

The movie takes place in the same world of the other Dead movies... This one specifically takes place during the events of Night, assuming Night took place in modern day. It follows the story of a handful of college students simply trying to escape the horrors that have befallen and find some sort of shelter to keep safe, all the while filming all the events.

This is yet another Handycam film, though this time with the slight twist of post editing and a second camera... This is done by explaining that one of the survivors decided that these things needed to be seen and edited together to 'show us the truth. I found this very well done. The second camera gives us larger scope of whats happening as we can now split off to see whats happening off screen of the first camera. Just as well the post editing factor gives a better flow to the movie as the film isn't obligated to show 'realism' and have the audience question why the camera man turned the camera on or off at a given scene.

I say it again, I think handycam films are great. Well no, I think what a handycam film can do for a genre... There are cam videos I do not like, example include Monster and the Blair Witch Project (Note: The Blair Witch Project was marketed PERFECTLY with it's viral advertisments, and keeping everything under wraps to keep the 'reality'...But the movie itself had a very bland plot, and no actual script. The actors were told to improv, and thats why you hear 'Fuck' every third word.)

But what Handycam films do is allow you to go to a genre that has been tried, tread, and trampled... A genre in which every plot device, every turn, every single thought to make it live again is gone, like the Zombie film, and give it new perspective. You can see these old ideas in a new light. It can give these movies one last hurrah and chance to grace our screens.

Diary of the dead was, to put it simply, great. While looking through the camera man's eyes you could feel the weight on these characters as the world disolves to nothing. There are some truley brilliant shots of decolate cities, and creepy building interiors. The addition of the Media News coverage vs. the power of the Internet also made me smile and was an idea I'm suprised nobody had thought of before. Where the News tries to cover the incidents up, the internet allows the truth to flourish.

If you're a Zombie fan I highly recomend Diary of the Dead, it's everything you love with new eyes.

Golden Ticket

I apologize in advance for the title of this review. But hey I'm here...Yes it's been quite some time, admittedly longer than my usual 'nothing good is out' hiatuses... But that's the fact, nothings out that I really want to review. I know that's a cop out and if I wanted to I could find something...But as this Review Site is intended to motivate me to write, I would like to do movies I'd enjoy actually writing about. But no worries, new releases will start in September and only grow up to December. Well now that I've ranted away for a full paragraph lets move on to...

Two Tickets to Paradise

Two Tickets to Paradise I believe ran the Indie Circuit film festivals, I don't think it ever had an official release, making its only numbers DVD sales and no Box Office. I say this simply because I cannot find any info on it's release... anywhere.

Two Tickets to Paradise, formerly named Dirt Nap, is about three nearly-40 year old men who's lives did not turn out as planned. Down on their luck they take a road trip down to Florida when one of the men wins two tickets to the College Football World Championship... Along the way they contemplate their lives...

I have to admit... I only had an interest in watching this movie because John C. McGinley was in it. I find him awesome in any form and wish he would do more work.

But what I found there, was a brilliantly done Black Comedy about three men finding themselves in their mid-life and realizing they aren't where they were supposed to be and instead of facing their problems and fixing their lives they run off on a road trip, and contemplate suicide.

Each scene blends the dry wit and dark humor with each characters story and how they promptly don't deal with it. It's a unique and well made movie and worth a watch from anyone who's a fan of the less silly side of comedy.

Vote

So here we are, man it feels like I'm being lazy, but really the new releases are just pitiful. I guess I could have picked up Prom Night, but I have such apathy for that movie...I decided to pick up, though, a movie that I actually have some care for...

Recount

Recount, being a made for TV movie, specifically HBO, has no numbers.

Recount is the tale of the 2000 Presidential Election and the issues regarding Florida and the recount. It follows the Democratic and RTepublican Campaign parties as they both fight and try to get their candidate the state and Presidency.

I'm gonna try to do this review without going political... I'm a movie reviewer not a Political Pundit. That being said this movie swings so very far to the left. It shows the movie very firmly from the democratic point of view and displays the republicans as stubborn dirty bullies who block every attempt of the Democrats with shady methods and underhanded tactics. Conversely the Democrats come out as squeaky clean warriors for truth who simply want everything done right, no matter the turn out.

Though one must also realize that despite this obviously bias portrayal the events in the movie happened, albeit dramatized, and watching this movie really gives a feeling of just bewilderment. The ridiculousness of the situation, that there was so much chaos from this one state... It gives a scale to what was going on that the news eight years ago just couldn't grasp.

Obviously if you swing right conservative republican you most likely will despise this movie, if you're liberal lefty democrat you may point to it and call out a rally cry for injustice... Either or, this is a powerful movie, and gives a bit of humanity to the ludicrous events of the 2000 Presidential Election.

Paradise

Second on the list, here we go.

Nim's Island

Nim's Island managed to pull in $47,963,887 nationally and cashed in at a grand total of $77,535,510 world wide, and deserved every penny.

Nim's Island is about a girl who lives alone with her father, a marine biologist, on an island. But when her father does not return from one of his studies, and tourists begin to invade the island Nim turns to her favorite adventure book author to help. Little does she know who the authro truley is.

When I saw this movie come in I decided to pass over it as a 'kid's movie'... But then decided to pick it up, and see it simply because there was nothing else. Boy was I truley suprised.

Sure it is a kids movie, but an enjoyabe one. Incredibly entertaining on all fronts. I found myself laughing out loud at all of the humor in it, and simply enjoying the entire film. The acting is great and the world portrayed is just truley imaginitive.

I suggest it to anyone, yes anyone. Be sure to look for it on the shelf.

Kill 'em All!

Little late in the week sure but I have a few reviews I wanna get through. So lets start of with

Starship Troopers 3:
Marauder

Starship Troopers 3 is a direct to DVD release and therefore has no Box Office numbers. Though I wouldn't imagine them very high if they did.

Starship Troopers 3 takes place eight years after the events of the first film and bring us back to John Ricco, who must save an important man in the Federation from yet another new bug... But this time, he has some new equipment.

I would like to say I have never read Starship Troopers the book, but absolutely adore the original movie. The mix of action fluff, Science Fiction, and tongue in cheek social parody was all just brilliant. I am suprised, though, that such a simple formula cannot be captured again in any sequel.

The movie just seems to fail at capturing what was great about the original movie... The propoganda intels seem less social parody and more plot exposition, each character is rather bland and flat most of which seem to try and be sympathetic at the same time as being a moralless ass. The only character that really has any sort of character is John Ricco and thats only because the character was made ten years ago.

Ricco, by the way, really feels underused in this... He does great in the first scenes of the movie, then is held back to simply stand around for the rest of the movie until the end.

The problem with the Starship Troopers movies is the failure to grasp the scale of war... In this and the second one it was a handful of people facing off against an army of bugs (or themselves)... The first movie showed hundreds of people being mauled by bugs, it really gave it the perspective of a galactic conflict.

The movies religious aspects, while I assume they were in attempt to be parody, simply grained on my nerves... We see throughout the film the blind faith as the characters cling to the crazy Sky Marshal, and yet at the end the surviving woman still 'gets fath'.

The movie is simply not worth it. If you're a die hard Starship Trooper fan it'll simply let you down, if you're not a fan it won't entertain you much at all. Pass it by when you see it on the shelf.

Running High

Personal issues made it impossible for me to review 10,000,000 BC, the latest Asylum disaster. In fact I think it's a bit of a blessing. I'm not going to discuss what happened, it's rather annoying so lets just get right to...

Harold and Kumar
Escape from Guantanamo Bay

Harold and Kumar opened with $14,908,404 and went on to make $38,108,728 National and $40,444,986

Harold and Kumar, fresh from their recent adventure to White Castle decide to go to Amsterdam, though confusion over a Bong gets them labeled as terrorists and sent to Guantanamo Bay... They must escape and evade authorities as they try to clear their names.

I remember when the first Harold and Kumar movie came out, I thought the movie would be solly and stupid and was adverse to watching it. But then I sat down one day and watched it. I laughed and I chuckled, but passed it off. With each time I watched it I started to enjoy iy more, the movie truley grew on me...

This movie oes not dissapoint. Fans of the first will adore this one as each new turn brings loads of laugh. Once again both actors give a brilliant preformance with the classic comedy duo and every scene with Neil Patrick Harris is a laugh riot.

The movie is simply put wonderful, and I suggest it to fans of the first installment, and any fan of whacky adventure comedies... I'm actually pleased to hear that there will be a third movie.

Pick up Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo bay on July 29th.
world wide.

Lost

Okay here we go, I said I was gonna try and keep this going and I have my first of a three movie line up, expect more tomorrow. But for now?

Lost Boys: The Tribe

Lost Boys: The Tribe is a direct to DVD movie that has yet to be released, and therefore does not have any numbers.

Chris Emerson and his sister are down on their luck, and must move into their Aunt's spare house... When at a party, Chris' sister is turned by a vampire... Chris must then enlist the help of Edgar Frog to save her.

This is a movie that teeters on the edge, the original Lost Boys was a cult classic and has droves of fans that will surely tear this movie apart if it strays too far from what the original flick was. I must say myself that it's not a horrible movie.

Granted that this is not saying it is a good one either. It is simply bland, a retread of the original story. It does nothing to add to the story, or make you want to add it to your collection. The best part of this movie would have to be Corey Feldman as Edgar Frog...

But do note, see how in the art Edgar is in the far background? It is that way in the movie as well. Aside from the climax he has but three scenes throughout, and there are NO scenes featuring his brother... They were all cut.

The movie has peaked my interest with the short, after the credits roll, return of Corey Haime and it's alternate endings. This story should be what Lost Boys II was... But instead it was simply the same movie as the first with a new cast.

In the unlikely event there is a Lost Boys III we may get the actually intriguing story that this film only alludes to, but do not hold your breath. This is a movie easily passed over, but if there is nothing else to watch (which this week may just be the case, there are so few releases) you wouldn't be wasting your time picking it up on July 29th when it is released.

Explanations

Alright so I have a bit of explaining to do don't I? Well you see, it's the summer... and thats a dead period for new DVD releases, really...it's just nothings goming out on DVD. Most of my rentals as of late have been personal choices that are simply too old to review (IE Gross Point Blank, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.)

"But Movie Geek!" You cry out, in attempts to thwart my attempts to cover my own laziness "Summer also means a new awesome Blockbuster release every week!"

I would first tell you not to be so smug, and then say yes, awesome blockbusters, they're all awesome. I sat around with WALL*E, Hellboy II, and The Dark Knight, and I wondered to myself... Do I really need to review these, is there anyone out there NOT hearing the ammount of praise these flicks are recieving? What can I say that has not been said a thousand times over?

There was Journey to the Center of the Earth, but I was so pissed I had to pay 12 bucks to see...THAT... That I did not wish to speak of it anymore.

So what does this mean for me? Well it means that the site may be... sparatically updated... And will probably not pick up till mid-fall. This does not mean I won't be TRYING... I have Harold and Kumar, the Lost Boys sequal, and another Asylum Massacre ready to be reviewed...

As soon as I get some time to WATCH them.

Journey

Last on the line and guess what? It's another from that most hated of Studios, yes the Asylum. It's come to be tradition to review this so called films here... I don't really know why I keep putting myself through these. So lets get into it, here's...

Journey to the Center of the Earth

Journey is about a team, apparently testing a new teleport system becoming trapped in the strange world beneath the Earth's crust and the attempt to rescue them... That's really about it.

Yes shock and surprise, an Asylum flick inspired by Jewels Vern coming out just over a week before the Brendan Fraser film of the same name and well, same everything else. The movie is obviously an attempt to capitalize on those who do not follow the movie industry too well, and will think this film is the one with Fraser. It's pretty much the Asylum's MO and it's the only way these people keep making enough money to stay in business.

I feel for these poor folk, thinking they are in for a movie with some depth and an A-List actor... Because they are in store for the same tripe as every other Asylum flick. Stiff acting, bad CGI, and horrible audio quality where the background noise constantly drowns out the dialog.

Every character is a cliched stock character, out of the four 'soldiers' trapped in the Center are the 'Natural Born Leader', the 'Brainy Smart One', the 'Bitch who Gains a Heart', and of course the 'Coward Newbie'. Each of the actresses seem to be bored through most of the film, completely phoning it in with the clear picture they are in this fim simply to fluff their acting resume.

But maybe I'm being too harsh... No, no I'm not. Because I could deal with bad effects but the acting in this film is what truley kills the movie. It's not a bad plot (mostly because it was Jewels Vern's), people lost in a strange and amazing world, attacked by Dinosaurs, giant spiders, and weird plant monsters... But these girls don't even react to it. They just stare and give an unimpressed glance to everything... This fact actually throws me off when they DO show some actual fear.

And I don't want to be sexist, but I was weirded out by the fact that they sent a team entirely of women to test this teleporter, which was supposed to take them somewhere in Germany, fully armed with automatic weaponry. Are they attacking germany? Or were they carrying weapons in case the Teleport failed and they needed to fight dinosaurs?

Okay now I'm just being mean.

The story is just infuriating, filled with no emotion, bad psudo-science, and a brainy glasses wearing soldier that somehow is an expert in Paleontology, geology, botany, and Entomology. No joke, the girl guesstimates the size of a giant spider by the size of the web strands...

If you see this movie after it releases July 1st, get as far away from it as you can.

Drilling Taylor

Next movie...

Drillbit Taylor

Drillbit Taylor opened at $10,309,986 it's first weekend, and went on to make $32,862,104 nationally and $48,959,326 world wide, pretty respectable.

The film is about three High School freshman, the target of bullying, in attempts to free themselves of the torment of their bully they hire a man, Drillbit Taylor, to be their personal body guard.

When I saw trailers for this film I was worried it would be a lowbrow comedy... But I have to say it's a very good film. Owen Wilson continues to shine in the way of wit and charisma that he has come to be known for. The film retains a high note in it's delivery of laughs, and never sinks to slapstick for a gag.

I recommend it to anybody looking for a good laugh, and of course Owen Wilson fans. Drillbit Taylor releases on DVD July 1st

AdVantage

Second down on the list, lets skip the chit chat and get right to it.

Vantage Point

Vantage point opened strongly doing $22,874,936 on it's first weekend, going on to make $72,266,306 national, and making an impressive $78,468,915 world wide.

Vantage Point takes place in a 23 minute period in which the president of the US is shot during a peace summit in Spain. The film shows the same period of time through six distinctive yet interlocking perspectives...

This movie is quite remarkable... With each new perspective more and more of the story starts to unfold, leaving the audience trying to piece everything together. Its amazingly well done and I must compliment the filmmakers for pulling it off in such a cohesive way. This type of movie could easily turn into a mesh of confusion and lose audiences. But every turn grabs you in this picture.

It has action, suspense, drama, and quite an amazing cast. I suggest everyone pick it up when it releases on July 1st

Super Stupor

It's Monday and that means it's movie day. I may have to rethink my update schedule as it's hard to watch and review up to five movies in one day. I find myself not wanting to watch movies when I get them simply because I fear I won't have anything for Monday, and I dislike sitting on a review. I may go back to a random schedule again. But for now lets move on to the first movie of the day...

Superhero Movie

Superhero Movie opened at $9,510,297 and went on to make $25,837,000 nationally and $57,585,720 world wide. I honestly can say I do not understand how it made that much.

Superhero Movie follows Rick Riker, a boy bitten by a genetically engineered Dragonfly and given super powers, and parodies all the big Superhero films made in the past years...

We have here yet another in the long list of [Genre] Movie Parodies, of course all spawning off of Scary Movie... Actually if you want to get technical they may be all spawned from Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th as it did come first... But thats just splitting hairs.

I really don't understand how [Genre] Movies continue to make money, each one continues it's attempt to be like the Airplane or Naked Gun movies, but never do it... Yet they still keep pumping them out. Already they have another one coming called Disaster Movie, spoofing movies like The Incredible Hulk and Juno, movies released just THIS year.

Superhero Movie, like the rest of these movies is filled with crude humor, sight gags, and all around the lowest base of comedy. It's tolerable though and even managed to geta few chuckles out of me. Most will be put off by the film but those who enjoy the other Parody films will be entertained.

Superhero Movie releases on DVD July 1st.

Certainly could be

Third on the list of four, but will be the last for today. The Bridges will have to wait as I just don't have the time right now. But lets move on to the movie now...

Definitely Maybe

Definitely Maybe opened with $9,764,270 it's first weekend, going on to make $32,013,120 nationally and $53,330,314 world wide.'

The story is that of a divorced man, William Hayes (Reynold), telling his daughter the true story of hos he met her mother, and realizes that by telling the old story, there may be a new beginning.

I am of course, a Ryan Reynolds fan, I like the guy and love to see him in a leading role, and unlike Chaos Theory this movie was not underwhelming. It was very good. A touching romantic comedy that adds a little originality to an old method, by not letting us know right off the bat who the lead will end up with...

It was funny, witty, and in the end touching. All the right ingredients for a flick like this. The acting was wonderful, which is not surprising considering this film has quite a surprising amount of A-List stars.

Men don't be afraid to watch this flick if your girlfriend suggests it, hell, I say get it even if she doesn't want to see it, it's a great film and thats all there is to it. Definitely -Maybe releases on DVD Tuesday June 24th

Doctor is in

Keep on moving with these one after the other, here we come with number two on the list...

Charlie Bartlett

Charlie Bartlett opened with $1,836,256 it's first weekend, going on to make $3,950,984 national and $4,723,357, completely failing to make back it's 12 million dollar budget. In my mind this is a complete shame.

Charlie Bartlet is about a boy, Charlie, privileged and upper class, but unable to keep himself from being thrown out of every Private School. He eventually must go to public school... He simply wants to be liked by everyone, and soon starts delivering psychological advice and medication to the student body...This quickly makes him the most popular kid in school... But he must learn what is the right thing to do with this responsibility.

This movie is quite honestly brilliant. It is one of the most clever and downright funny comedies I have seen in quite some time. It's a movie that shows the problems of fitting in in school and taking responsibility of your own life as oppose to simply following.

I must say that Anton Yelchin (Charlie Bartlett) is immensely entertaining to watch, especially playing off a great like Robert Downey Jr.

It's a great movie and it's a shame that it was not received better in theaters. I suggest it to anyone looking for a great intelligent comedy. Charlie Bartlett releases on DVD Tuesday June 24th.

Future

So here we are on Monday, update day... I'm gonna try my hardest to get all these movies reviewed today... But I might not be able to review the Bridges. But for now, first up on the list is...

Futurama
The Beast with a Billion Backs!

The Beast with a Billion Backs is the second in the line up of four scheduled Futurama straight to DVD films, the first of course being Bender's Big Score. As it's direct to DVD and not available at the time of writing there are no numbers to be listed.

The Beast with a Billion Back takes place a month after the previous film in a rare case of direct continuity from an animated TV show of this nature, leaving a large tear in the fabric of the universe... What lays beyond the tear is a planet sized tentacle monster, with it's eye set upon out universe!

It's always odd seeing an animated TV show get a feature length, since you're so used to everything wrapping up in thirty minutes, getting two hours of material is very different. But this is a great film for Futurama fans, more of the same laughs, jokes, and unexpected sci-fi jokes.

Definitely see it is you were a fan of the series, if you weren't I'd suggest at least a single viewing. It has a lot of laughs, and a lot of rather amazing animation from a direct to DVD film. The Beast with a Billion Backs releases Tuesday June 24th.

Rewinding

So heres number two for the day and what I will consider my Monday update (unless I do one later today.) I figured it would be better to do the review now as opposed to tomorrow, where I'll probably be too tired to bother, so here is...

Be King Rewind

Be Kind Rewind opened in 808 theaters it's opening weekend and 810 total... It brought in $4,050,655 the first weekend, topping out at $11,175,164 national and $17,040,551 world wide.

The movie is about two men, Mike (Def) who works in a small self owned rental store and Jerry (Black) his best friend. When Jerry is magnetized while trying to sabotage the electrical power plant next to his home and erases the tape, the two must recreate the films themselves...

This movie is pretty decent, which is a shame really. When I first heard about this film it looked more than just decent, it looked great. It looked like a film filmed with pop culture and movie industry... But most of the recreation scenes go by so fast, theres nothing but a sight gag to take from it.

But all in all the movie is very good, Mos and Jack play well off each other with Black's usual outlandish personality contrasting well with Def's calm and quiet attitude.

It's a competent comedy with more than a few laughs and a very good cast, just don't expect anything spectacular when you pick it up. Suggested to fans of Jack Black and Mos Def, and anyone looking for a decent comedy. Be Kind Rewind releases June 17th...

Theories

A bit later than I thought I would be when getting around to this bit better late than never. Expect a review of Be Kind Rewind either late tonight, or mid day Monday. For now I'm reviewing...

Chaos Theory

Chaos Theory did $240,476 in theaters, which may seem like a very small number, but it had a release of about 11 theaters in the US, and no world wide release.

The story follows the life of Frank Allen (Reynolds) a man who's life is set by schedule, that is until one day a small change throws his entire life through a loop. Now foregoing his meticulously planned life he throws every choice to random chance, and embraces Chaos.

I was expecting more of this film, quite honestly. When I saw the trailers I was actually excited, as I'm a huge Ryan Reynolds fan and love to see him in leads. His performance is great, but the story around it seems lacking. I found myself becoming distracted easily from the film, having to rewind to catch parts I had missed.

The movie is not bad though, it's a decent dark comedy, and releases June 17th. I suggest it to hardcore Reynolds fans.

Trick or Treat

I'm actually working on Monday, so there might be two updates tomorrow, or one update tomorrow and one mid day Monday. But for now, bit of a random movie, bit of an older one too... But I felt like reviewing it.

Halloween

Halloween opened strong with $26,362,367 made it's opening weekend, it went on to make $58,272,029 national and $78,301,528 world wide. Considering the film only costed 15 million to make, it's actually pretty impressive.

The movie is the retelling of John Carpenter's classic slasher film of the same name. It follows the life of Micheal Myers, a disturbed young boy who kills his older sister on Halloween night... He spends fifteen years in a mental hospital before breaking out to search for his baby sister.

I remember when I saw House of a Thousand Corpses, the credits rolled, and I was beside myself. I paused for a moment, rolling the film around in my head for a bit before coming to the conclusion that Rob Zombie should never be allowed to make Movies. I said the same about Devil's rejects... To me Zombie's films seemed to be filled with graphic and disturbing imagery without real reason... I've seen attempts at adding some form of meaning to the relentless gore... But it always seems drowned out, muddled...

It actually comes to a shock to me how tame Halloween is. I went in expecting horrific imagery, disturbing deaths, and shocking murders. What is in the movie is no more than what one would expect to find in a slasher film... A few stabs here and there, and mostly off screen.

I feel like I'm being unfair, so let me get back on track. This movie is a 'reimaging' of Micheal Myer's story, those expecting a simple remake should steer clear, as the first forty minutes of the film deal with Myers' past and time in the Mental institution, and unfortunately, it's the only decent part of the film.

The new material really does catch you, draws you into the story of what Micheal is, and what he becomes, sadly shortly after he escapes and the movie moves from original material to remake it falls apart, becoming bland and boring. The killings are nothing spectacular, the constant screams were irritating, and the attempts to strike fear or worry for the characters failed, since we spent so little time with them compared to Micheal.

All the characters feel one dimensional except for Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell). Everyone else feels ripped out of a stereotype ranging from ditzy teen to scumbag redneck.

The film is not bad though, don't get me wrong, it's just not good. There are many many better slasher flicks available, like the original Halloween... I suggest this really only to people who have nothing better to watch, and then only if it's on TV.

Incredible

Ah now this was a movie I have been wanting to see for ages, and yet it never even crossed my mind to review it... I just came back from the Midnight Showing so it's still fresh off the reels! It is none other than...

The Incredible
HULK

As it literally released but a few hours ago at the time of writing this there are no numbers, be sure to check back Monday for them.
EDIT: Numbers in and The Incredible Hulk smashed the Box Office with $55,414,050 it's first weekend

The Incredible Hulk is about Bruce Banner, who five years previous to the movie had an accident while preforming an experiment on himself... Now whenever he is under stress or angry he becomes incredibly strong and dangerous monster... Bruce finds himself ever searching for a cure while evading the US Government, who want to use it as a weapon.

The last time we saw our giant green friend was in the 2003 attempt to adapt the comic to the big screen. Ang Lee's vision of the Hulk was not very well accepted by the fans, comments that the story was slow moving and that the action, while great, was lacking in consistency compared to the rest of the story. There was also some issues with how the Hulk looked, some saying that the CG completely took them out of the film.

I always defended the film, accepting that it had faults, but was enjoyable. I felt the story captured why the Hulk comic book is so enjoyable, not the green monster smashing up tanks, but the modern telling of the classic story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In the end all I could do was accept my Hulk movie with it's flaws.

Then I saw The Incredible Hulk...

I simply cannot express how enjoyable this movie was. Edward Norton, co-screen writer and star as Bruce Banner is simply an amazing man, he was able to produce a story that kept the struggle of a man with a monster hidden within him, but also deliver some amazing action sequences. The story stays consistent from beginning to end and does not lag or slow down at all. It incorporates themes from both the comic and 70's television show flawlessly, and even sets up for a possible sequel with yet another of the Hulks great Arch Villains.

It truly makes me happy to see how well Marvel Studios is doing, finally enabling crossover material previously impossible do to licensing issues. Keep your eye open for Stark Industry and S.H.I.E.L.D logos, and once again an ending leading up to a very specific movie penned for release (at the time of writing) in 2011.

If your a Hulk fan go see it, you will not be disappointed, if you aren't, it's a great summer action flick and I still suggest seeing it while in theaters.

Lists

Oddly enough I actually worked today, it threw me off in my update, but here I am. I have a few movies I may review throughout the week, but work is draining me so no promises. For now though?

The Bucket List

The Bucket List opened it's first weekend with $19,392,416 and went on to make $93,466,502 nationally and $172,466,502 world wide.

The story is about two men, Carter Chambers (Freeman) and Edward Cole (Nicholson) both find out they have but months to live, distraught they go out together with plans of completeing their Bucket List, a list of things to do before they die.

Theres not a lot to say about this movie, it is in a word, fantastic. Nicholson and Freeman, two of the best actors alive, give this movie a feeling of truth and heart. It's amazing to see two men of such high caliber work together.

The only thing I can say against it is the fact that these two men are getting older... It's sad to see great actors become older,it means that they may eventually stop acting, and soon may not be around at all.

Go see the movie, it's great, and carries an interesting message of accomplishing goals in your life before it's too late. The Bucket List comes out on DVD on June 10th.

Eye Strain

Second movie of the day! And yet another not yet released flick. Its the movie I hinted at last week but never got a chance to sit down and watch, it is...

The Eye

The eye opened at $12,425,776 which may sound small, but actually covered the entire budget of the film. It went on to make $31,418,697 national and $54,417,244 world wide.

The Eye is about Sydney Wells (Alba) a woman blind since the age of five, who finally has a successful cornea transplant and is able to see... But she begins to have strange horrifying visions of ghosts and death... As these visions haunt her she must try and find out whats real and whats not.

This film is yet another American remake of a Japanese horror film in the same vein as The Ring and The Grudge, cause apparently America has forgotten how to be scary...

But that is the thing with this movie...It's not scary. It felt like every shocking scene, of which there was only a handful, came and went so quick you really didn't get a chance to absorb what happened. The entire movie runs like this even to the end, flash of something then a long stretch of nothing.

The movie seems to follow the same thing thats wrong, to me anyway, with the Ring. There is no real danger... Throughout the movie we see these visions of ghosts and 'death shadows'... but we never see Alba's character get downright attacked in the film, the ghosts will jump at her, and she will be grabbed in a vision, but nothing actually happens.

No danger or risk till the very end, this seems to want to be a psychological thriller trapped in a Horror movie's body. It drags on for a while before actually moving the story along, I really can't suggest it to many. It releases June 3rd.

Jump

Okay so I've decided, since it seems to be difficult for me to update on a random schedule that I need a specific day to update. I didn't want to give myself something set it stone, because god forbid I don't have anything for that day...But none the less, I have decided to do Monday updated, with sporadic updates throughout the week whenever I get around to it. Today I will be doing two updates, as today there is no time limitation on watching them. First up?

JUMPER

Jumper opened at number one bringing in $27,354,808 it's opening weekend and stayed at number one for two weeks despite negative reviews. It ended up pulling in $79,840,473 domestic and $220,789,758 world wide.

Jumper is about David Rice, a man who at a young age discovered he had the ability to teleport anywhere he wanted, with this ability he makes a life of complete freedom for himself. But when an organization known as the Paladins, people who kill 'Jumpers', comes after him, he must fight back.

Jumper was another movie panned by general critics, yet despite it seems to be enjoyed bu audiences, and this movie truly is enjoyable. The story is pretty basic on the surface, but has a certain complexity to it, room to grow into sequels, of which there are two planned... But the real selling point is the action, the visuals, and the physics.

The scenes where Hayden's character is shown teleporting across the globe are just draw dropping. The entire sequence makes me smile, and instantly gives a matter of fact feel to the teleporting, as if this were just a normal day. It reminds me of the opening sequence to I Am Legend where Will Smith traverses the empty New York City, the two scenes made me say "If the movie was two hours of just this, I'd still watch it."

But of course thats not all it, the fight scenes, ah, the fight scenes. There is really nothing that can compare to what they do with the physics and visuals of these port fights. Each fight is unique, with something different, fact paced and involving, and just plain fun.

And Physics geeks also will not be disappointed as the movie follows amazingly well the 'rules' that would go along with the theoretical physics of teleportation. Teleporting causes a vaccume when leaving and a sudden burst of air and concussion on arrival...

The movie is just fun and is all that should be expected when watching. I highly suggest it to Physic Geeks and anyone looking for a really entertaining fast paced action flick. Jumpers releases June 10th... And I highly anticipate it's sequel.