Movie Geek Theater

Mr. Fantastic

2010-03-21T23:10:00.003-04:00

Alright so I think this will not be the only review I do this week as I have a few movies I might want to talk about this week. Also I have to get to a list of requests from Rick, who wants me to review Horror movies, consisting of all Slasher Flicks. I'll see how many rentals I have left over after grabbing the new stuff later this week, Rick.

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fantastic Mr. Fox follows the story of Mr. Fox, a fox who was once a professional Farm Thief, giving up his trade when he learns he is to become a father. Twelve Fox Years later he moves his family to a new home with the secret goal of returning to stealing. When three farmers decide to kill Mr. Fox, a standoff between them and all the woodland creatures begins.

And here we have the third movie with George Clooney in a row. I'm beginning to think the man cannot make a bad movie... I am then of course reminded of Batman and Robin. Fantastic Mr. Fox is quite honestly amazing. It's a strange experience watching the film since it's just so off beat, in such a good way. It's so subtle in it's humor, downplaying the audacity of talking animals. Everything seems almost muted, it doesn't jump out at you like a lot of family films. This movie isn't loud, wildly colorful, or fast moving and that's what gives it it's charm.

You obviously cannot talk about this movie without talking about the animation. It's all done in stop motion, which is all just beautiful. The aesthetic of earthy browns and fiery oranges give the film scenery that is just amazing to watch. All the characters seem intensely detailed, this being one of the first stop motion films I've seen with realistically moving eyes that didn't seem just painted on. The fact that a majority of the characters are covered in fur make the fact that this movie is as smooth as it is just makes me applaud the film makers.

I think the reason Fantastic Mr. Fox works so well, and maybe why it seems so odd, is that it doesn't just jump into a plot, and when it does it doesn't just pursue it till the end. The film first allows the audience to settle into a world, gently nudging the plot forward in the background before it comes crashing into the foreground. It's a layered film, with many themes and aspects to explore. Midlife crisis, family rivalry, sense of community, and risk vs. security are all core aspects to a larger whole.

This is a film that you need to see, at least once. It's beautiful, well written, and extremely funny. It comes out on the 23rd so if you see it on the shelf, pick it up. You won't be dissapointed.

Staring Contest

2010-03-14T15:15:00.004-04:00

The Men who Stare at Goats

After his wife leaves him, journalist Bob Wilton hightails it to Iraq for a story and to prove to his ex wife that he is a man. There he meets Lyn Cassady, a man who claims to be a recently reactivated psychic spy. Together they head into Iraq where Lynn explains to Bob the military's secret psychic spy program from the Cold War.

This is an interesting movie... It's hilarious, well executed, great characters and acting, and becoming poignant when needed. It's just a shame with all those qualities it still feels lacking. Now I enjoyed this film immensely, and suggest anyone a fan of dark quirky comedies to see it, but there's just something missing from this film. Something that just doesn't draw you in as deeply as other films.

This film seems to swap from dark comedy to drama without any real flow, the themes of the film don't match very well in that regard. In one seen you have this oddness of a soldier hopped up on LSD in attempts to prove his psychic powers running through the camp naked firing wildly, the next shot he shoots himself in the head. Dark comedies can be dramatic, but in this film the shift from one theme to the next seems stiff, and comes without warning.

This all compounds with the psychic abilities themselves. Half the time the whole idea of psychic powers seems silly and easily explained, all nonsense in the context of the film and only real in the flashbacks. Then another time they appear as real, with no logical explanation to have. The movie doesn't seem to want to decide if the Lynn character is a real psychic or if he's just a con man that believes his own con...

But with all that said, the film is still worth watching. It's a funny and odd dark comedy, if you can handle the mood shifts you will enjoy it immensely. The way Clooney and McGregor play off eachother, a timid young reporter and an old psychic supersoldier... Clooney completely taken by his own story and McGregor going along for the sake of his story, it's great.

This film is definitely for those who enjoy the ludicrous and dark comedies, it may be worth buying, but you wouldn't be wasting money to rent it first to see if it's for you.

Fly Me Away

2010-03-08T16:24:00.005-05:00

Up in the Air

Ryan Bingham has a job that keeps him in the air throughout the year, a fact he is most pleased with. Spending most of his time flying around the country, he has taken to a lifestyle of no commitments, always on the move. When a young woman comes to his company with an idea that will keep him grounded, he takes her on the road with him to show her how it needs to be done, and hopefully preserve his way of life.

Jason Reitman seems to have a way of going about movies, taking something reviled and reveling in it. With Thank you for Smoking we saw a spokesperson for the Tabacco Industry as our protagonist, talking about spin and marketing as a way of life. Juno showed us Teen Pregnancy as not something tragic and forever heartbreaking, but as something snarky and something to laugh at. Here we have a man who not only has to deal with airlines, but prefers to be there than home.

It's interesting to me that his protagonists are never truley good people Thank you for Smoking was a Tabacco Spokesperson, Juno a pregnant teen who was cynical and almost callous to those around her, and now a man who fires people for a living, sure he helps them along the way to finding a new path, but he doesn't really seem to care about them. The man is empty, with no real connections...

This movie follows this broken man as his lifestyle is challenged. He sees an end to his anchorless ways, and fights to regain it. All the while toppling over a romance story that shows that maybe being grounded wouldn't be so horrible. The movie plays with these ideas of keeping yourself free and tying yourself down to something throughout, an amazingly small main cast showing so many aspects of life on the move. All concluding in an ending that's almost bittersweet, despite everyone getting what they want.

This is a movie that should be seen, it should be seen multiple times, alone and with friends. It's an amazingly simple story that really opens into some complex themes if you let it. When you see it on the shelf March 9th, pick it up.

The World of Tomorrow

2010-03-02T10:08:00.004-05:00

Alright, since it seems that I have an audience now... Which is just plain weird, I'm gonna try to get to a review a week again. So here's the deal, movies don't come into my store on Tuesday anymore, we now get the prestreets on Thursday or Friday. What this means I have only 3-4 days to watch all my prestreet rentals over the weekend, even less time if I actually work. I'm going to try and get new movies up, but I'm gonna be taking requests and suggestions as well. So shoot me a request or suggestion at TheScarletRogue@GMail.com Subject Line: MovieGeek Request.

2012

In 2012 the Mayans predicted the end of the world, and they were right. In the year 2012 the planetary alignment causes a blast of Neutrino waves from the sun that melts the earths core, causing the planet to slowly crumble. Jackson Curtis (Cusack) is on a camping trip with his kids when the world starts to end, now he and his family search desperately for a way to escape the madness while the world literally falls apart around them.

Disaster Movies, let me say just one thing about Disaster Movies. They should be awe inspiring. This isn't something subtle here, theres no subtext, or silent menace in the shadow... You are destroying something. A city, a ship, the entire world, something is going to be utterly annihilated and the audience needs to feel it. Say what you will about movies like Volcano, Independence Day, or Armageddon(And honestly, I could say a lot.) But they knew how to make the destruction, the disasters of their movies feel disastrous.

2012 is almost comical in that regard. The destruction is so outrageous and the action is so ridiculous that you'll be hurdled out of the experience. It simply feels as though the makers of the movie are trying to make you laugh at the utter destruction of California as a whole. Donuts roll in the path of the protagonists, slow driving old ladies block their path as the road crumbles behind them, and a subway train shoots out of the ground as the heroes take off in a plane. There is nothing to the action except for barely missed it scenes, where inevitably the protagonists will just barely skirt by as something attempts to crush, drop, or explode around them. Many of these moments happen within SECONDS of each other, it's simply too much.

And this is John Cusack, do you know how much you have to work for me to dislike a John Cusack film? He and the cast are really the only saving grace in this film. Sure they're all just stock, nothing more than placeholders between the over the top action and destruction scenes, vessels for us to sit with and take us from explosion to explosion... But with actors like John Cusack, Danny Glover, Woody Harrelson, and Oliver Platt, at least some emotion is drawn from these rather bland characters.

Though even with the horrible things I've just said, it's not as horrible as I expected. I was expecting from word of mouth something truly bad, and got something merely poor. It's not a good movie, that's for sure. And while it fails, even in regards to it's own genre, you won't be gnawing your own foot off to escape it if you pick it up. It's certainly not a purchase, though, only a rental.

And I just got through the entire review without ranting why the theories behind 2012 are wrong. I'm quite proud of myself.

Movie Rant: The Future of the 90s

2010-01-10T05:34:00.003-05:00

When I first started this blog, I stated that it would contain reviews as well as my general outlook on the movie industry. I have had a few ideas for these Rants in the past, but none that I could really formulate into a solid article. So here's the first of hopefully many Movie Rants...

I am a firm believer in the Retro Rule of 20, of which I have mentioned in my G.I. Joe review. It's a simple rule that the media of today will reflect back fondly upon the days of twenty years ago. The idea is that the now late twenty early 30 somethings who grew up in those days who now have more expendable income than when they were 10 will flock to these properties like they did when they were kids, and generally they do.

The evidence isn't hard to see from the 2000's, with G.I. Joes, Transformers, animated shows like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and He-Man being remade, and even a (somewhat bad) remake of Knight Rider. And going back further we can see such evidence in The Wonder Years, a 90s look back on the 70s, and Happy Days, a 70s look back on the 50s.

So the new decade is upon us, and a new trend of Retro comes with it. Now, I am a 90s kid... As much as I wish to deny it. I try, truly, to relate to the 80s, but I wasn't even 5 when they ended. No I was raised in the 90s, and man... What an undefined decade. Truly meandering about with nothing to claim for itself.

What can be said about the 90s? Well it birthed the Modern Internet, and lead to the Dot Com boom... Which ended badly. It saw the advent of the modern cell phone... which didn't come to popularity till the 2000's... And it brought us the Dark Age of Comics... And that's all I'll say on that.

So what does this say for our Media? Well it's hard to say... Most Television and Movies coming from the 90s aren't heralded very fondly, with most of it's defining features of entertainment being Video Game related. That's not to be said that the entertainment of the 90s was complete garbage, many great movies and television shows came from this decade... But then most of it simply would not work as a remake or revitalization. It's an interesting time, to be honest... I for one can't wait for the Live Action adaptation of Samurai Pizza Cats...

...And now I feel really old.

Only Two things are Certain...

2010-01-04T15:49:00.002-05:00

The Final Destination

The Final Destination follows the story of Death's latest List Skippers. A group of four sit within the audience of a NASCAR style Stock Car race, one of which loudly admits to only being there in hopes of a crash. The main character Nick has a vision of such a crash, so horrible it kills dozens of people including him and his friends. Distraught, he quickly rushes his friends and a few bystanders out of the Speedway, in which moments later the vision comes true. Shortly after they find that Death is stalking them, picking them off in the order they should have died in during the accident.

Lets get right down to this and not beat around the bush... The Final Destination, as opposed to Final Destination 4, is a gore porn. It serves no real merit as a Horror or Thriller movie. People who follow the series KNOW the characters are going to die, and expect it en mass. Now there's nothing wrong with that, Splatter Spectacles like Hostel or The Hills Have Eyes do a wonderful job of showing you grotesquery and making you squirm in your seat at it. But this?

The movie is littered with bad CGI, scenes that scream "this is supposed to be in 3D", and pretty bland death scenes. I'm not joking, the deaths in this are pretty boring and tame compared to the others save for maybe two. And when you're making such a blatant Spectacle Horror like this, your audience is expecting the absurd.

One thing that personally bugged me was the huge Red Herring in the middle of the movie (there are several red herrings throughout...) Where an entire death scene set up is thrown away with no payoff, only to lead to the actual death scene which is utterly forgettable. This wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't shown a can of hairspray sliding across the counter, moved by death, and then have it accumulate to nothing.

Towards the end of the movie, the story goes so far as to break it's own rules, completely negating the 'order of death' staple the series had had since the beginning in favor of a large climactic end, in which it's best death is used, and then completely negated.

The creators have stated that this is the last Final Destination movie, which implies some sort of culmination, a climax of the entire series as opposed to just another group of people trying to outwit a personified concept. This does come, sort of. It's a quickly uttered and easy to miss line at the climax of the film, a character postulating that maybe everything is Death's design, completely negating the entire point of the entire Final Destination series.

Though do to the success of this film (most likely due to the fact that it was a Gore Porn in 3D) there have been talks of continuing... Though I quite honestly feel the series should have ended shortly before Final Destination 3 went into production.

The Final Destination comes to DVD on the Fifth, it's competent for it's genre and has a few good spectacles, but is completely forgettable with no lasting impression...

Concentration

2009-12-29T10:24:00.003-05:00

Alright so this is an odd one, as it is my first request review! So lets move on to...

District 9

District 9 Starts in the 1980s, giving exposition on a Space Ship that comes to a halt over Johannesburg, South Africa. Apparently stalled, or broken, the local powers take the alien race (Called the Prawn in a derogatory sense due to their appearance) down to the city and place them in a camp, called District 9. 20 years pass and District 9 is very much a slum, crime and corruption have plagued the Prawn, who are treated as lower class. Humans demand that they be removed from their city... The city hires MNU to relocated the Prawn to Dictrict 10, who place Wikus van de Merwe in charge of the relocation.

While handing out Eviction Notices Wilkus is infected, and begins transforming into a Prawn, this leads him in a three way battle while he tries to stay away from MNU who wish to use him to discover the secrets of Prawn Weaponry, change himself back to normal so he can return to his life, and possibly help the Prawn escape from their current fate.

A very long Synopsis for a very complex movie. Now this may be touted as a Sci-Fi action, but more than that, it's a MESSAGE movie. Several messages in fact from Xenophobia, to Corporate Corruption, to of course the most obvious the morality of Concentration Camps. This is the movie that's interested in making you think... While the action is great, it certainly is not a Popcorn Flick.

The movie itself is a sort of convergence of the Handycam and Traditional Cinema styles. Parts of the movie, mostly the beginning and end are shot in Documentary Style, giving the back story and setting up the plot. It explores the world the movie creates and sets the mood before beginning the actual story.

This I feel makes the messages the movie pushes seem less forced and in your face, making it more natural to the movie. This film takes the time to build a setting before throwing the audience to the protagonist to progress the actual film.

One of the other intriguing things I find with this film is that the protagonist, Wilkus, is not a good man. He's not a bad man, but he does not make one heroic act until an hour and a half into the film, and until about halfway into the second act he treats the Prawn with no more respect than anyone else, treating them like dim witted beasts. Until the explosive finale, Wilkus simply stumbles through the film, interested in filling his own needs, and keeping himself alive. Following a man like this is almost refreshing compared to the righteous freedom fighter proxies for Jesus that litter the Action Sci-Fi genre's main characters.

The movie really takes it's time to show you how a people can be brought down not by their own fault, as it is clear that the Prawn were once incredibly intelligent, but in District 9 seem to portray every slumish ghetto stereotype. They're dim, ill mannered, and seem quick to violent acts when confused. Truly a failing from the generation before them as they have no access to education, or economic opportunity. Those that govern them either want nothing to do with them, hoping to keep them away from the general population...

The movie hammers these many points in without getting on a soap box about it. You should know this before thinking of picking it up, because if you're simply looking for an action movie with aliens, you'll be quite disappointed. While the action is very well done, there are only a handful of them, and most come late in the second act, before coming to an explosive finale in the third.

District 9, though, may have been misclassified, as this is a prime example of modern Science Fiction. A story that takes fantastical and often alien plot elements to make a statement about some moral aspect of the world today. And this movie does a great job with it.

I do highly recommend this to anyone looking for an 'Action' movie with some actual depth to the plot.

Yo Joe

2009-11-01T05:01:00.010-05:00

G.I. JOE
The Rise of Cobra

Now, before I even start in on this movie, let me discuss a bit on it's origin. In the mid-60s, after the phenomenal success of Barbie, Hasbro decided to make a 'doll for boys'. But what molded soft plastic toy would little boys want? Well an action man of course, a man's man, a soldier. There was born the original 12 inch G.I. Joe 'Action Figures'. Meant to represent the four arms of the military, and little else.

But that's not the toys WE remember playing with, nor the one we're here to speak on today. No we're talking the Real American Hero relaunch that came with a television show in the early 80's. Now the toys were not just soldiers, but an elite counter-terrorism squad fighting against the evil of Cobra, which just happened to BE a Terrorist organization.

Here we found a story. In essence, it was simply to create a 'reason' for the toys, but it grew from there. Over 20 years of revivals and revisions, it's hit every form of media from Television, to Comics, to several animated feature length films. It, like most things from the 80s that now sits in the essence of retro pop culture, is ingrained into 20-30 something's collective minds.

So, as is the Rule of Retro, if it's 20 years old, it's time to capitalize on the market. The kids of the 80s are now at the age where they have expendable income. They made a movie, following in the footsteps of another 80s property that started as a toy line turned Saturday Morning Cartoon. (Transformers, duh?)

When I saw the trailers oh so long ago, my initial reaction was bad. I had only two real complaints, but large ones. First were the Accelerator Suits. Far be it from me for knocking a movie based off a 30 minute Accessories Not Included commercial, but they looked so alien in this movie. It almost felt like they were making a G.I. Joe Halo crossover featuring two Master Chiefs... It was petty, but it felt as if it would detract from the style of the original material.

My second? What the hell was Marlon Wayne doing in the film? Now I do not hate Marlon, in fact I think he's a really funny comedic actor... when used right. The problem seems that he finds himself in movies he has no right to be in, where his style of comedy comes off more annoying than funny... Again it may seem petty, but putting a near slap stick comedian in an Action Movie seemed... off.

I was all ready to sit down to this and rip it a new one, but here's the thing... I liked it. It was a fun movie. And while the Power Armor annoyed me somewhat, they are used in only one scene and then never used again. Marlon Wayne's character was also a surprise, as he did not come off as a slapstick comedy side kick.

The FEEL of G.I. Joe is intact (aside from the aforementioned power armor scene) with each battle filled with explosions and hectic stunts. The characters are very likable on both sides with a few exceptions... Snake Eyes and White Shadow of course at the top of the list there, their story in the background to the main still comes off strong without detracting from the progression of the plot.

And then there's Cobra. I loved this, in the TV Series, Cobra Commander was, to be blunt, a joke. His raspy screeching voice, and tendency to never come out ahead or have any real tactical intelligence aside from screaming 'Attack' at the top of his lungs hardly made him an intimidating figure. Here he is sadistic, hate filled, and all of what you would expect from a Cartoon Villain given a PG-13 bump.

That's not to say I enjoyed it all. The first fifteen or so minutes of introduction to the actual Joes, they rattle off all the G.I. Joe tag lines in rapid succession, Realistic Hair and Kung Fu Grip, all American hero, and Knowing is Half the Battle are wedged into the dialogue. The Baroness, while at the beginning of the movie feels faithfully re-created, gets her character trashed due to the forced love story...

As well as Duke of all characters. He feels rather... bland. The only real characterization coming from the love story that was shoe horned into the movie. He added no real depth to the film aside from 'romantic action lead'. This was a shame since in the TV series he's all but the main character.

Though I still enjoyed this film. It, like Transformers, was able to be taken from campy 80s cartoon and turned into a nice Action Flick. And I must admit, I am glad to hear they will be making a sequel. Go ahead and give it a look when it comes out on the 3rd.

Bump in the Night

2009-10-16T03:38:00.005-04:00

Cough cough, ahem... Dusty over here. Yes, just under a year since my last review, I come back. Why did I leave? Lack of motivation, interest, watching and reviewing movies felt forced, and I didn't like that.

So why have I brought this little review site back? I wanna talk about a very special movie. A movie you may never have heard of, or have heard fantastic lies from all the rumors surrounding this wonderfully marketed via word of mouth film. That film...

Paranormal Activity

I've decided to stop doing numbers, simply because telling you how much the movie made does not reflect how good a movie is. Not any bias here, this movie doesn't have numbers yet...

Paranormal Activity is a documentation of the events of a couple over the period of a few weeks. Having recently purchased an expensive video camera, Micah plans to record all of the strange occurrences that have been happening around the home he shares with his girlfriend Katie. Over the following days the force that plagues them becomes more and more aggressive, putting great stress on the couple.

This movie is interesting on several fronts. It's marketed completely by word of mouth, a tactic that has mutated into rumors about states having banned the film, that the film will only have midnight showings, and that it is the best horror movie ever made. Only one of these rumors is true.

It's a Handycam film, which I have mentioned before is a style of film making I believe can bring new life into a genre, and here it comes to bring new life into the Haunted House genre. The thing about Handycam films that it's detractors don't seem to realize is no, it's not cheap, or a gimmick, it's a way for viewers to be drawn into a film on a deeper level. We're not watching this film from a magic window in the characters lives, we're THERE, with the camera, it's more visceral and gripping than sitting behind a fake camera...

It is also, of course, touted as true events, which is okay. There's nothing wrong with a Handycam film claiming to be found footage of a real event to build upon it's own reality, it's par for the course... And this film doesn't leave anything out, even having the actors use their real names on camera to keep from needing a credit roll.

But enough of me spouting out my love for the hand held film... Lets get to the movie. It's amazing how...simple it is. The concept isn't exactly unexplored, it is a haunted house movie... well, a haunted person movie. But it's done so... subtly. Each scene progresses the plot only as much as it needs to, it's slow moving and methodical, each event coming with more intensity. It leaves you anxious in your seat as you wait to see what will happen...Will it be horrible? Will it be insignificant?

Another thing this movie does well is the switch. It starts off relatively harmless. The 'paranormal activities' caught are barely anything to worry about. I kept getting angry at the theater goers around me as they giggled and chortled at a door moving or the reaction of the couple to a loud bang... I shook my head with grief, feeling that the atmosphere was being destroyed by some dopes.

Then the movie kept going, the giggles, the laughter, they still came. But they came with less frequency. As the movie neared it's end, and the intensity of each scene topples the last, as these two characters are suddenly taken from mild annoyances to vicious and dangerous forces, the laughter stopped. Gasps and shocked cries replaced them. At the final minutes of the film, I heard fear and worry in the voices of the patrons, and I too was gripped with fear.

This movie starts off with nothing, it lures you in with a false sense of security, and then lashes out at you. People walk in to a horror film expecting to be frightened, so they put their guard up. This movie works on removing those guards, letting you ease in to the film before terrorizing you with the climax.

This is a movie you NEED to see. And you should see it in Theaters. The tag line states "Do not see it alone" and that is not because of how frightening the movie is, but because the experuience of an entire theater shifting from guffaws to shrieks is one you should never miss.

Go see it.

We. Don't. Know. Yet.

2008-10-20T13:52:00.005-04:00

Well it's been a little while, I'm not worrying about it though, jack all's come out that I haven't already reviewed or is even worth reviewing... So lets get into this. It's gonna be a tough one for me.

Expelled:
No Intelligence Allowed

Expelled opened up with a total of $2,970,848 it's first weekend, and went on to make $7,690,545 domestic and total, as there was no world wide release. This movie was released in 1,052 theaters across the country... So the number is pretty small overall.

This film is a documentary exploring the notion that Intelligent Design is being blocked out of academia by the scientific community, and those scientist who promote Intelligent Design are being ostracized.

I'm going to try very hard not to let my personal opinions surface... But I simply cannot do this review without them. This movie is polarizing, if you think one way you will be infuriated... If you think another you will shout out that it's the bare truth of the argument. Personally, the movie infuriated me. I felt it gloss over the facts, mislead it's interviewees shamelessly into giving the answer they want, and seemed to be to me not about a block from the Scientific Community, but rather a ploy to poke holes in Evolution.

One thing that really aggravated me was the notion that when a scientist, skeptic, or other advocate for Evolution would state that we do not yet know how or why something works, Ben Stein would instantly push that 'Why couldn't a designer do it?' It's one issue I've always wondered...Why is not knowing bad? Why do we have to fill in the gaps before observation occurs.

The problem I see, is that blocking Intelligent Design from Academia is a good thing... (Personal feelings warning). The idea of forcing a supernatural force (a designer) into the realm of science is simply not acceptable. It is something forever unobservable, and therefor cannot be accepted. Supernatural by definition means something beyond nature...And science, in essence at least, is the study of natural phenomena.

It is also bad science overall, where IDers grasp to a solution, and work backwards to prove it, whereas science is supposed to observe, test, and explore before coming to any solution... These issues were never brought up in the film. It simply tried to drill holes into Evolution and say 'See it doesn't work, ours does' and then provide no evidence. (Personal views end)

One aspect of this film I found unforgivable was the assertion that the Nazi movement was based off of Darwinism... It was a move that made me grit my teeth as it was once again a diluted and misrepresented point. Nazism is based off a broken and misunderstanding of Darwinism and Evolution... No species could possibly survive by bottlenecking the gene pool into one race... A point never brought up.

The movie brought this argument against Evolution while continuingly telling us 'of course this does not mean Evolution leads to Nazism.' With a bit of a wink and a nod, still leaning us towards this argument... There is a Rule of the internet known as Godwin's law, simply stating that as an argument progresses, the probability of one side comparing the other to Hitler or Nazism increases. Once invoked, it is generally considered that the person who brought it up...has lost.

Though I say again there is a chancce, depending on your personal leanings on the subject, that you will love this movie. But know that it will not sway you towards Intelligent Design. It's not meant to... It's only purpous is to try and drag the Scientific Community down a notch so that their 'Science' can be accepted...

If you see Expelled on the shelves on the 21st, I would say to weigh your personal beliefes on the subject heavily before picking it up.

Shall We Play a Game

2008-09-24T03:36:00.006-04:00

Okay well it's been a while since my last review, choppy schedule has limited my access to movies, but I do think it's better than my last stretch of no updates. So lets get right into...

WarGames:
The Dead Code

As a Direct to DVD flick this movie has no official numbers. I do wish I knew a site that tracked DVD sales, I hate leaving this spot so sparse.

Set 25 years after the first movie, it follows a young hacker named Will Farmer. Will, in attempt to make some cash, inadvertently becomes the target of R.I.P.L.E.Y a super computer designed to search out and terminate terrorists.

Lets talk about a different movie for a moment, that movie being WarGames. The 1983 movie that first showcased Matthew Broderick's acting talents. It was a movie that dealt with many subjects, the advance of technology in the 80s with Computers and the budding start of what would become the Internet, Paranoia in the middle of the Cold War, and Nuclear Stalemate... The latter being such a strong subject that it alone makes the movie great.

So how do you follow such a movie? Does it's story need to be continued? I remember hearing about the big promotion for this film... Movie Theaters all over were going to put the original WarGames on the big screen for one night, followed by exclusive info on the upcoming sequel. I didn't really care aboue the new movie, I just wanted to see one of the greatest films to come out of the 80s on the big screen.... Unfortunately my local theater, though advertising it before every single movie I saw there for three months, told me adamantly they were not showing it.

So when this movie came out I waited the alloted month and rented it to see if it held up (I couldn't get it pre-street because we got it in late). The verdict? Sort of... The movie starts off really weak and stale. The premise of tracking terrorists through online games really came off as ludicrious... I don't think terrorists are funding themselves by gaming online for cash.

But then the movie continued, and about halfway through I started getting more into it... True this only happened because of the introduction of two chraracters from the first film the second one literally having me cry out with glee... Cheap move? Yes, but suprisingly it worked. Hell until these characters were mentioned I didn't even know it was a direct sequel, I just thought it was a genre sequel.

In the end this movie is not horrible, and does pick up towards the end. It may pick up at the end because it becomes even MORE like the original film, but it sort of works. I wouldn't suggest a purchase for a collection, but a rental might be in order if you enjoy these kind of boarderline morals of techology films.

Death

2008-09-15T03:53:00.012-04:00

Nng... There is only one kind of movie that leaves that kind of taste in my mouth, yes it is once more another film by The Asylum...

Death Racers

As an Asylum Flick, and there for Direct to DVD, it has no numbers.

In a futuristic dystopian USA in THE 'Red Zone', a sort of open field giant prison, a terrorist known as The Reaper is threatening to put sarin gas into the water supply of America. The govonor of the state sends in several teams of criminal drivers under the guise of a 'Death Race' to catch him.

And again we have a film from the Asylum made to look and play like a major production released in theaters but a couple weeks ago. This of course being Death Race, which in itself is a remake of Death Race 2000. The remake of course featuring Jason Stathan, one of the big names of action films today. The original film was drenched in controversy with it's grusom premise, its a wonder why it was remade, let alone ripped off.

Once more we have another mediocre attempt at film by these people. A movie filled with The Asylums trademarks of bad acting, horrible audio, and choppy editing. The fact that the movie promotes featuring the Insane Clown Posse as a good thing makes me chuckle endlessly... And as it turns out they're actually the only ones in the movie even halfway entertaining (Though that does not say much.

Though it comes hard to review a movie like this since the source material, I mean... The source material's source material is so utterly filled with satire and parody, I can only wonder if the film was trying to emulate that. But then I remember that it's an Asylum flick, which as shown in their previous films means any show of tongue in cheek parody or wit is completely unintentional.

Avoid the film at all costs, if you catch it in the corner of your eye when it comes out on the 16th, don't even turn your head to look at it fully, your head might burst into flames.

Impersonate

2008-09-15T02:09:00.002-04:00

...Lets just get right into this one...

Mister Lonely

Mister Lonely was only released in 8 theaters, only one of which it's opening weekend. It opened with $16,769 it's first weekend, and went on to make $167,396 national and $347,600 world wide.

The movie is about a Micheal Jackson impersonator living in Paris. One day he meets a Marylin Monroe impersonator who tells Micheal of a commune completely populated with other impersonators.

This movie... When I saw it at work I skipped over it, not intending to take it out. Later in the week I decided to pick it up since I still had a rental available. I now wish I hadn't.

This is a movie attempting to escape criticism by being 'artsy' and everyone knows you can't criticize art... Anyone who does appears to be a snob. But it's simply... inane. The movie goes nowhere, with most of the characters simply walking around and acting strange... There also seems to be a second, completely different movie hidden within about nuns leaping from planes. (Apparently there is a connection between the Nuns and main story, but I had to find a quite from the director to see what it was)

All the characters are two dimensional, none have any true emotional depth... I know they are trying to portray other people (at which they are not very good at, but that may be part of the story so that gets a pass) but it's ridiculous... From the foul mouthed Lincoln to the abusive bullying Charlie Chaplin... They're all stock, and they're all cliched. And Buckwheat... with his bizarre and out right creepy obsession with chickens...It completely took me out of the movie. Not that I was that far into it.

The movie fell short for me... If you're heavily into the artsy and indie films I guess I could suggest this movie to you when it releases on the 16th. I just hope that you will see the movie for what it is, and not simply hold it on a pedestal as a pinnacle of surreal art.

Made Maid

2008-09-15T00:35:00.002-04:00

Keeping right on down the list lets move on to the next.

Made of Honor

Made of Honor started off with $14,756,850 it's opening weekend, it went on to make $46,012,734 national and pulled in a total of $101,325,310 world wide... Which is quite impressive.

The movie is about a man, Tom Bailey, a womanizer with a best friend of ten years, Hannah. When she leaves for Scotland for six weeks Tom realizes he loves her, only to find out she is engaged upon her return. Asked to be the Maid of Honor, Tom seeks to prove to Hannah that he is the right man for her.

This movie... is pretty formulaic. It follows the same path most 'chick flicks' do. Not to say it's bad, it's simply...shallow. If you have seen My Best Friend's Wedding you have seen Made of Honor. It simply brings nothing new to the table.

That doesn't mean the film does not have a spark. The cast is great, the jokes are funny and well delivered, and it does put a smile on your face... It would have to though, it's every romantic comedy you've seen that involves a man bursting through the doors, quite coincidentally as the Priest says 'speak now or forever hold your peace.'

The movie is standard, and that's not good. But that is not bad either so if you are looking for a romantic comedy to watch with your loved one, go ahead and pick up Made of Honor when it releases the 16th.

Love

2008-09-14T21:05:00.003-04:00

So number two on the list. I should be able to finish the rest before bed... But lets just keep going.

The Love Guru

The love Guru pulled $13,907,130 it's opening weekend and went on to make $32,200,122 national and $38,428,159 world wide.

The Love Guru is about Guru Maurice Pitka, a relationship Guru who is hired to help the Toronto Leaf's star player Darren Roanoke get back together with his wide to restore his confidence so that the team can win the Championship.

When I saw this movie advertised I shook my head, it seemed like simply an attempt to grasp something out of the dead Austin Powers series. It felt like more of the same, and that's pretty much what it is. Strip out the fact that the characters are different, you'll find yourself in a comedy that is very Austin Powers.

But that's not to say it's bad... Austin Powers was very popular and continued to draw in fans up till the third film... What I am saying is that it's nothing new. Mike Meyers fans will enjoy it, many others may simply give it a pass. I'm not exactly sure why it was so horrendously trashed by critics...It's not horrible and I even found myself laughing a few times.

If you found yourself a fan of the Austin Powers movies, or Mike Meyers in general you might wanna pick this up. It's not the greatest movie in his career but it'll still entertain you. If you're a fan of wacky comedies I'd also tell you to pick it up for the same reason. If you're looking for something a bit more...subtle. Keep on moving.

Tick Tock

2008-09-14T18:41:00.003-04:00

Okay, first up in hopefully several updates today...

88 Minutes

The movie opened in with a weekend grossing $6,957,216 it went on to pull in $16,930,884 national and brought in a total of $30,667,634 world wide. A respectable number.

The film follows Pacino's character, Dr. Jack Gramm, a Forensic Psychologist for the FBI who's testimony put away a suspected serial killer on death row nine years previous. As a copycat killer emerges Jack receives a phone call telling him he has 88 minutes to live. Jack must them pull the pieces together to find out the truth of it all.

I would like to say how odd this movie is. Not the film, just the fact that I was interested. I generally don't like Pacino... Nothing against the man, I just generally feel his acting comes off as sluggish. Now this is simply my opinion, I understand that he is thought of as one of THE greatest actors of all time. I personally enjoy his performance in Insomnia, where I felt he was very adept at portraying a man who has not slept in seven days.

So when I saw this movie, and saw Pacino in it, I found it odd that I was drawn in. The idea behind it intrigued me and I found myself snatching up a copy when it came into the store. Now that I've seen it I feel I may have been over eager.

This is not because of Pacino, far from it... He was rather excellent in the film... Most things were actually. The acting is decent, the pacing is nicely done, and the film is put together in a very well made way...But it was just something. It does not grab you at all, there is very little emotion in this film and what little there is feels forced and awkward, like it belongs in a different film.

There was a spark to the film,a draw, a catalyst to greatness...But nothing ignites. The film simply plays, uncaring in the audience is along for the ride. And it's a shame too... There was true potential for greatness, and the entire film was done well. There was just something important missed....Something not grasped that would have saved it and made it wonderful.

The movie releases on on the 16th. If you're looking for a suspense film you could do better, but since most other releases seem to be in the action or comedy venue, you could definitely pick this film up and not be too disappointed.

How Good is Your Kung Fu?

2008-09-13T23:40:00.002-04:00

This on the list and probably the last for tonight. I'll be watching 88 Minutes after this, but will probably head to bed afterward and do the review in the morning... So...

The Forbidden Kingdom

Forbidden Kingdom opened up in theaters bringing in $21,401,121 it's first weekend. It went on to make $52,075,270 national and a total of $111,604,290 world wide

The movie follows a young man, Jason, who is a fan of martial arts films. He spends a great deal of time in an old Chinese Pawn shop, searching for bootlegged martial arts movie...While there he finds a staff, one he has seen in his dreams... When he takes it he is whisked away to the forbidden kingdom, charged with the task of returning the staff to the Monkey King.

You may remember in an earlier post I mentioned wishing to see this film in theaters, but was never able to. I wanted to see it for the reason many did... If you ask around who people thought the greatest Martial Artist was in film alive today you would probably get a majority of two answers, Jackie Chan or Jet Li... You may get Stephan Chow, but those people are just being smart.

This film is the first time these two greats meet... and of course fight. And is probably the single reason most people saw the film. But the movie itself is great none the less, taken from a western fairy tale the screen writer told his son, based of the Eastern tales of the monkey king, it takes bits and pieces of old martial arts and mixes them nicely to come out with a great family film.

That's right, this film is great... But it is a family film, which may deter some fans going in expecting Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon or House of Flying Daggers. The film plays for young and old... It's visually stunning and well paced... It's all around well made and I highly suggest it to pretty much anyone who enjoys an good old fashion fairy tale.

Booooo!

2008-09-13T23:15:00.003-04:00

This one I actually did plan on putting up. I had what I planned to write all down... But I never got around to it because I could not find a poster for the film online. No joke, when I was looking there was none. I was lucky to find one just now. I know a pictures not necessary, but I like em. Gives more weight to the post.

Heckler

Heckler is a direct to DVD film that has no box office numbers.

The film is a documentary by Jamie Kennedy that deals with Hecklers, and goes into the practice of critique. It's filled with comedians who share their opinions on the people who shout at them on stage, and the people who slam them on paper.

Now this...Is obviously a difficult movie to review, for me personally since I do this on my off time. I like to think I'm fair and never actually described myself as a Critic. I only review movies. The movie does seem to lash out at critics when you watch it... But if you watch the commentary you will hear from Kennedy himself that he does believe critics are necessary, and the movie was aimed at those who believe their opinions are doctrine, and those who make a career attacking Actors as opposed to critiquing the film.

Again... I like to think I am fair... I don't believe I have ever once specifically attacked an actor, and most of my reviews, even when negative tend to try and find the good. I can only vouch for my opinion of the movie, and can only speak for those who share my taste in film, and yet I still try to take a step back and find an audience who might enjoy the film and suggest it to them.

I do attack the Asylum, yes, but I think that's slightly different because I do not attack them at a personal level, I do not like their business practice, and they do not produce quality films. It's less me hating them baselessly and more me angered by their disrespect for movie goers and even other filmmakers.

Now, as you can tell from how much this movie made me think on this subject, I truley enjoyed it. It's filled with smart funny people, some who have been spurned by reviews, critics, and all who have had to deal with a heckler. I suggest it to anyone with more than a passing interest in film or Stand Up comedy...

(Also I highly recommend the commentary track. You can hear how the movie which looks so professionally shot, was actually made on the fly and from the seat of Jamie and the director's pants.)

Dear Diary

2008-09-13T22:47:00.005-04:00

Okay so it's time to get off my ass. I have a few reviews I've been sitting on for a little too long now. I didn't post them because, well... I'm lazy. It's all I can really say. But I will be posting them tonight, and as an added bonus I have a stack...STACK of movies on my desk, four of which are pre-streets. I am going to try my hardest to get through them all, but seeing as they all need to go back before Tuesday (IE Monday) it may be hard. Though lets movie right on to...

Diary of the Dead

The movie, diary of the dead, actually did come out in theaters. This actually surprised me as I had previously thought that it was a direct to DVD. The movie opened in 42 theaters and brought in $232,576 it's opening weekend. It topped at 48 theaters and brought in $958,961 national and $4,566,999 world wide. This may seem like small potatoes, and it is... But it did manage to double production costs, labeling it a success financially.

The movie takes place in the same world of the other Dead movies... This one specifically takes place during the events of Night, assuming Night took place in modern day. It follows the story of a handful of college students simply trying to escape the horrors that have befallen and find some sort of shelter to keep safe, all the while filming all the events.

This is yet another Handycam film, though this time with the slight twist of post editing and a second camera... This is done by explaining that one of the survivors decided that these things needed to be seen and edited together to 'show us the truth. I found this very well done. The second camera gives us larger scope of whats happening as we can now split off to see whats happening off screen of the first camera. Just as well the post editing factor gives a better flow to the movie as the film isn't obligated to show 'realism' and have the audience question why the camera man turned the camera on or off at a given scene.

I say it again, I think handycam films are great. Well no, I think what a handycam film can do for a genre... There are cam videos I do not like, example include Monster and the Blair Witch Project (Note: The Blair Witch Project was marketed PERFECTLY with it's viral advertisments, and keeping everything under wraps to keep the 'reality'...But the movie itself had a very bland plot, and no actual script. The actors were told to improv, and thats why you hear 'Fuck' every third word.)

But what Handycam films do is allow you to go to a genre that has been tried, tread, and trampled... A genre in which every plot device, every turn, every single thought to make it live again is gone, like the Zombie film, and give it new perspective. You can see these old ideas in a new light. It can give these movies one last hurrah and chance to grace our screens.

Diary of the dead was, to put it simply, great. While looking through the camera man's eyes you could feel the weight on these characters as the world disolves to nothing. There are some truley brilliant shots of decolate cities, and creepy building interiors. The addition of the Media News coverage vs. the power of the Internet also made me smile and was an idea I'm suprised nobody had thought of before. Where the News tries to cover the incidents up, the internet allows the truth to flourish.

If you're a Zombie fan I highly recomend Diary of the Dead, it's everything you love with new eyes.

Golden Ticket

2008-08-30T23:52:00.002-04:00

I apologize in advance for the title of this review. But hey I'm here...Yes it's been quite some time, admittedly longer than my usual 'nothing good is out' hiatuses... But that's the fact, nothings out that I really want to review. I know that's a cop out and if I wanted to I could find something...But as this Review Site is intended to motivate me to write, I would like to do movies I'd enjoy actually writing about. But no worries, new releases will start in September and only grow up to December. Well now that I've ranted away for a full paragraph lets move on to...

Two Tickets to Paradise

Two Tickets to Paradise I believe ran the Indie Circuit film festivals, I don't think it ever had an official release, making its only numbers DVD sales and no Box Office. I say this simply because I cannot find any info on it's release... anywhere.

Two Tickets to Paradise, formerly named Dirt Nap, is about three nearly-40 year old men who's lives did not turn out as planned. Down on their luck they take a road trip down to Florida when one of the men wins two tickets to the College Football World Championship... Along the way they contemplate their lives...

I have to admit... I only had an interest in watching this movie because John C. McGinley was in it. I find him awesome in any form and wish he would do more work.

But what I found there, was a brilliantly done Black Comedy about three men finding themselves in their mid-life and realizing they aren't where they were supposed to be and instead of facing their problems and fixing their lives they run off on a road trip, and contemplate suicide.

Each scene blends the dry wit and dark humor with each characters story and how they promptly don't deal with it. It's a unique and well made movie and worth a watch from anyone who's a fan of the less silly side of comedy.

Vote

2008-08-18T16:47:00.003-04:00

So here we are, man it feels like I'm being lazy, but really the new releases are just pitiful. I guess I could have picked up Prom Night, but I have such apathy for that movie...I decided to pick up, though, a movie that I actually have some care for...

Recount

Recount, being a made for TV movie, specifically HBO, has no numbers.

Recount is the tale of the 2000 Presidential Election and the issues regarding Florida and the recount. It follows the Democratic and RTepublican Campaign parties as they both fight and try to get their candidate the state and Presidency.

I'm gonna try to do this review without going political... I'm a movie reviewer not a Political Pundit. That being said this movie swings so very far to the left. It shows the movie very firmly from the democratic point of view and displays the republicans as stubborn dirty bullies who block every attempt of the Democrats with shady methods and underhanded tactics. Conversely the Democrats come out as squeaky clean warriors for truth who simply want everything done right, no matter the turn out.

Though one must also realize that despite this obviously bias portrayal the events in the movie happened, albeit dramatized, and watching this movie really gives a feeling of just bewilderment. The ridiculousness of the situation, that there was so much chaos from this one state... It gives a scale to what was going on that the news eight years ago just couldn't grasp.

Obviously if you swing right conservative republican you most likely will despise this movie, if you're liberal lefty democrat you may point to it and call out a rally cry for injustice... Either or, this is a powerful movie, and gives a bit of humanity to the ludicrous events of the 2000 Presidential Election.

Paradise

2008-08-07T20:34:00.002-04:00

Second on the list, here we go.

Nim's Island

Nim's Island managed to pull in $47,963,887 nationally and cashed in at a grand total of $77,535,510 world wide, and deserved every penny.

Nim's Island is about a girl who lives alone with her father, a marine biologist, on an island. But when her father does not return from one of his studies, and tourists begin to invade the island Nim turns to her favorite adventure book author to help. Little does she know who the authro truley is.

When I saw this movie come in I decided to pass over it as a 'kid's movie'... But then decided to pick it up, and see it simply because there was nothing else. Boy was I truley suprised.

Sure it is a kids movie, but an enjoyabe one. Incredibly entertaining on all fronts. I found myself laughing out loud at all of the humor in it, and simply enjoying the entire film. The acting is great and the world portrayed is just truley imaginitive.

I suggest it to anyone, yes anyone. Be sure to look for it on the shelf.

Kill 'em All!

2008-08-07T19:31:00.003-04:00

Little late in the week sure but I have a few reviews I wanna get through. So lets start of with

Starship Troopers 3:
Marauder

Starship Troopers 3 is a direct to DVD release and therefore has no Box Office numbers. Though I wouldn't imagine them very high if they did.

Starship Troopers 3 takes place eight years after the events of the first film and bring us back to John Ricco, who must save an important man in the Federation from yet another new bug... But this time, he has some new equipment.

I would like to say I have never read Starship Troopers the book, but absolutely adore the original movie. The mix of action fluff, Science Fiction, and tongue in cheek social parody was all just brilliant. I am suprised, though, that such a simple formula cannot be captured again in any sequel.

The movie just seems to fail at capturing what was great about the original movie... The propoganda intels seem less social parody and more plot exposition, each character is rather bland and flat most of which seem to try and be sympathetic at the same time as being a moralless ass. The only character that really has any sort of character is John Ricco and thats only because the character was made ten years ago.

Ricco, by the way, really feels underused in this... He does great in the first scenes of the movie, then is held back to simply stand around for the rest of the movie until the end.

The problem with the Starship Troopers movies is the failure to grasp the scale of war... In this and the second one it was a handful of people facing off against an army of bugs (or themselves)... The first movie showed hundreds of people being mauled by bugs, it really gave it the perspective of a galactic conflict.

The movies religious aspects, while I assume they were in attempt to be parody, simply grained on my nerves... We see throughout the film the blind faith as the characters cling to the crazy Sky Marshal, and yet at the end the surviving woman still 'gets fath'.

The movie is simply not worth it. If you're a die hard Starship Trooper fan it'll simply let you down, if you're not a fan it won't entertain you much at all. Pass it by when you see it on the shelf.

Running High

2008-07-29T02:43:00.002-04:00

Personal issues made it impossible for me to review 10,000,000 BC, the latest Asylum disaster. In fact I think it's a bit of a blessing. I'm not going to discuss what happened, it's rather annoying so lets just get right to...

Harold and Kumar
Escape from Guantanamo Bay

Harold and Kumar opened with $14,908,404 and went on to make $38,108,728 National and $40,444,986

Harold and Kumar, fresh from their recent adventure to White Castle decide to go to Amsterdam, though confusion over a Bong gets them labeled as terrorists and sent to Guantanamo Bay... They must escape and evade authorities as they try to clear their names.

I remember when the first Harold and Kumar movie came out, I thought the movie would be solly and stupid and was adverse to watching it. But then I sat down one day and watched it. I laughed and I chuckled, but passed it off. With each time I watched it I started to enjoy iy more, the movie truley grew on me...

This movie oes not dissapoint. Fans of the first will adore this one as each new turn brings loads of laugh. Once again both actors give a brilliant preformance with the classic comedy duo and every scene with Neil Patrick Harris is a laugh riot.

The movie is simply put wonderful, and I suggest it to fans of the first installment, and any fan of whacky adventure comedies... I'm actually pleased to hear that there will be a third movie.

Pick up Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo bay on July 29th.
world wide.

Lost

2008-07-26T16:09:00.005-04:00

Okay here we go, I said I was gonna try and keep this going and I have my first of a three movie line up, expect more tomorrow. But for now?

Lost Boys: The Tribe

Lost Boys: The Tribe is a direct to DVD movie that has yet to be released, and therefore does not have any numbers.

Chris Emerson and his sister are down on their luck, and must move into their Aunt's spare house... When at a party, Chris' sister is turned by a vampire... Chris must then enlist the help of Edgar Frog to save her.

This is a movie that teeters on the edge, the original Lost Boys was a cult classic and has droves of fans that will surely tear this movie apart if it strays too far from what the original flick was. I must say myself that it's not a horrible movie.

Granted that this is not saying it is a good one either. It is simply bland, a retread of the original story. It does nothing to add to the story, or make you want to add it to your collection. The best part of this movie would have to be Corey Feldman as Edgar Frog...

But do note, see how in the art Edgar is in the far background? It is that way in the movie as well. Aside from the climax he has but three scenes throughout, and there are NO scenes featuring his brother... They were all cut.

The movie has peaked my interest with the short, after the credits roll, return of Corey Haime and it's alternate endings. This story should be what Lost Boys II was... But instead it was simply the same movie as the first with a new cast.

In the unlikely event there is a Lost Boys III we may get the actually intriguing story that this film only alludes to, but do not hold your breath. This is a movie easily passed over, but if there is nothing else to watch (which this week may just be the case, there are so few releases) you wouldn't be wasting your time picking it up on July 29th when it is released.

Explanations

2008-07-25T15:14:00.003-04:00

Alright so I have a bit of explaining to do don't I? Well you see, it's the summer... and thats a dead period for new DVD releases, really...it's just nothings goming out on DVD. Most of my rentals as of late have been personal choices that are simply too old to review (IE Gross Point Blank, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.)

"But Movie Geek!" You cry out, in attempts to thwart my attempts to cover my own laziness "Summer also means a new awesome Blockbuster release every week!"

I would first tell you not to be so smug, and then say yes, awesome blockbusters, they're all awesome. I sat around with WALL*E, Hellboy II, and The Dark Knight, and I wondered to myself... Do I really need to review these, is there anyone out there NOT hearing the ammount of praise these flicks are recieving? What can I say that has not been said a thousand times over?

There was Journey to the Center of the Earth, but I was so pissed I had to pay 12 bucks to see...THAT... That I did not wish to speak of it anymore.

So what does this mean for me? Well it means that the site may be... sparatically updated... And will probably not pick up till mid-fall. This does not mean I won't be TRYING... I have Harold and Kumar, the Lost Boys sequal, and another Asylum Massacre ready to be reviewed...

As soon as I get some time to WATCH them.

Journey

2008-06-30T19:11:00.006-04:00

Last on the line and guess what? It's another from that most hated of Studios, yes the Asylum. It's come to be tradition to review this so called films here... I don't really know why I keep putting myself through these. So lets get into it, here's...

Journey to the Center of the Earth

Journey is about a team, apparently testing a new teleport system becoming trapped in the strange world beneath the Earth's crust and the attempt to rescue them... That's really about it.

Yes shock and surprise, an Asylum flick inspired by Jewels Vern coming out just over a week before the Brendan Fraser film of the same name and well, same everything else. The movie is obviously an attempt to capitalize on those who do not follow the movie industry too well, and will think this film is the one with Fraser. It's pretty much the Asylum's MO and it's the only way these people keep making enough money to stay in business.

I feel for these poor folk, thinking they are in for a movie with some depth and an A-List actor... Because they are in store for the same tripe as every other Asylum flick. Stiff acting, bad CGI, and horrible audio quality where the background noise constantly drowns out the dialog.

Every character is a cliched stock character, out of the four 'soldiers' trapped in the Center are the 'Natural Born Leader', the 'Brainy Smart One', the 'Bitch who Gains a Heart', and of course the 'Coward Newbie'. Each of the actresses seem to be bored through most of the film, completely phoning it in with the clear picture they are in this fim simply to fluff their acting resume.

But maybe I'm being too harsh... No, no I'm not. Because I could deal with bad effects but the acting in this film is what truley kills the movie. It's not a bad plot (mostly because it was Jewels Vern's), people lost in a strange and amazing world, attacked by Dinosaurs, giant spiders, and weird plant monsters... But these girls don't even react to it. They just stare and give an unimpressed glance to everything... This fact actually throws me off when they DO show some actual fear.

And I don't want to be sexist, but I was weirded out by the fact that they sent a team entirely of women to test this teleporter, which was supposed to take them somewhere in Germany, fully armed with automatic weaponry. Are they attacking germany? Or were they carrying weapons in case the Teleport failed and they needed to fight dinosaurs?

Okay now I'm just being mean.

The story is just infuriating, filled with no emotion, bad psudo-science, and a brainy glasses wearing soldier that somehow is an expert in Paleontology, geology, botany, and Entomology. No joke, the girl guesstimates the size of a giant spider by the size of the web strands...

If you see this movie after it releases July 1st, get as far away from it as you can.

Drilling Taylor

2008-06-30T17:08:00.003-04:00

Next movie...

Drillbit Taylor

Drillbit Taylor opened at $10,309,986 it's first weekend, and went on to make $32,862,104 nationally and $48,959,326 world wide, pretty respectable.

The film is about three High School freshman, the target of bullying, in attempts to free themselves of the torment of their bully they hire a man, Drillbit Taylor, to be their personal body guard.

When I saw trailers for this film I was worried it would be a lowbrow comedy... But I have to say it's a very good film. Owen Wilson continues to shine in the way of wit and charisma that he has come to be known for. The film retains a high note in it's delivery of laughs, and never sinks to slapstick for a gag.

I recommend it to anybody looking for a good laugh, and of course Owen Wilson fans. Drillbit Taylor releases on DVD July 1st

AdVantage

2008-06-30T15:03:00.003-04:00

Second down on the list, lets skip the chit chat and get right to it.

Vantage Point

Vantage point opened strongly doing $22,874,936 on it's first weekend, going on to make $72,266,306 national, and making an impressive $78,468,915 world wide.

Vantage Point takes place in a 23 minute period in which the president of the US is shot during a peace summit in Spain. The film shows the same period of time through six distinctive yet interlocking perspectives...

This movie is quite remarkable... With each new perspective more and more of the story starts to unfold, leaving the audience trying to piece everything together. Its amazingly well done and I must compliment the filmmakers for pulling it off in such a cohesive way. This type of movie could easily turn into a mesh of confusion and lose audiences. But every turn grabs you in this picture.

It has action, suspense, drama, and quite an amazing cast. I suggest everyone pick it up when it releases on July 1st

Super Stupor

2008-06-30T12:59:00.004-04:00

It's Monday and that means it's movie day. I may have to rethink my update schedule as it's hard to watch and review up to five movies in one day. I find myself not wanting to watch movies when I get them simply because I fear I won't have anything for Monday, and I dislike sitting on a review. I may go back to a random schedule again. But for now lets move on to the first movie of the day...

Superhero Movie

Superhero Movie opened at $9,510,297 and went on to make $25,837,000 nationally and $57,585,720 world wide. I honestly can say I do not understand how it made that much.

Superhero Movie follows Rick Riker, a boy bitten by a genetically engineered Dragonfly and given super powers, and parodies all the big Superhero films made in the past years...

We have here yet another in the long list of [Genre] Movie Parodies, of course all spawning off of Scary Movie... Actually if you want to get technical they may be all spawned from Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th as it did come first... But thats just splitting hairs.

I really don't understand how [Genre] Movies continue to make money, each one continues it's attempt to be like the Airplane or Naked Gun movies, but never do it... Yet they still keep pumping them out. Already they have another one coming called Disaster Movie, spoofing movies like The Incredible Hulk and Juno, movies released just THIS year.

Superhero Movie, like the rest of these movies is filled with crude humor, sight gags, and all around the lowest base of comedy. It's tolerable though and even managed to geta few chuckles out of me. Most will be put off by the film but those who enjoy the other Parody films will be entertained.

Superhero Movie releases on DVD July 1st.

Certainly could be

2008-06-23T17:12:00.002-04:00

Third on the list of four, but will be the last for today. The Bridges will have to wait as I just don't have the time right now. But lets move on to the movie now...

Definitely Maybe

Definitely Maybe opened with $9,764,270 it's first weekend, going on to make $32,013,120 nationally and $53,330,314 world wide.'

The story is that of a divorced man, William Hayes (Reynold), telling his daughter the true story of hos he met her mother, and realizes that by telling the old story, there may be a new beginning.

I am of course, a Ryan Reynolds fan, I like the guy and love to see him in a leading role, and unlike Chaos Theory this movie was not underwhelming. It was very good. A touching romantic comedy that adds a little originality to an old method, by not letting us know right off the bat who the lead will end up with...

It was funny, witty, and in the end touching. All the right ingredients for a flick like this. The acting was wonderful, which is not surprising considering this film has quite a surprising amount of A-List stars.

Men don't be afraid to watch this flick if your girlfriend suggests it, hell, I say get it even if she doesn't want to see it, it's a great film and thats all there is to it. Definitely -Maybe releases on DVD Tuesday June 24th

Doctor is in

2008-06-23T14:41:00.006-04:00

Keep on moving with these one after the other, here we come with number two on the list...

Charlie Bartlett

Charlie Bartlett opened with $1,836,256 it's first weekend, going on to make $3,950,984 national and $4,723,357, completely failing to make back it's 12 million dollar budget. In my mind this is a complete shame.

Charlie Bartlet is about a boy, Charlie, privileged and upper class, but unable to keep himself from being thrown out of every Private School. He eventually must go to public school... He simply wants to be liked by everyone, and soon starts delivering psychological advice and medication to the student body...This quickly makes him the most popular kid in school... But he must learn what is the right thing to do with this responsibility.

This movie is quite honestly brilliant. It is one of the most clever and downright funny comedies I have seen in quite some time. It's a movie that shows the problems of fitting in in school and taking responsibility of your own life as oppose to simply following.

I must say that Anton Yelchin (Charlie Bartlett) is immensely entertaining to watch, especially playing off a great like Robert Downey Jr.

It's a great movie and it's a shame that it was not received better in theaters. I suggest it to anyone looking for a great intelligent comedy. Charlie Bartlett releases on DVD Tuesday June 24th.

Future

2008-06-23T14:06:00.005-04:00

So here we are on Monday, update day... I'm gonna try my hardest to get all these movies reviewed today... But I might not be able to review the Bridges. But for now, first up on the list is...

Futurama
The Beast with a Billion Backs!

The Beast with a Billion Backs is the second in the line up of four scheduled Futurama straight to DVD films, the first of course being Bender's Big Score. As it's direct to DVD and not available at the time of writing there are no numbers to be listed.

The Beast with a Billion Back takes place a month after the previous film in a rare case of direct continuity from an animated TV show of this nature, leaving a large tear in the fabric of the universe... What lays beyond the tear is a planet sized tentacle monster, with it's eye set upon out universe!

It's always odd seeing an animated TV show get a feature length, since you're so used to everything wrapping up in thirty minutes, getting two hours of material is very different. But this is a great film for Futurama fans, more of the same laughs, jokes, and unexpected sci-fi jokes.

Definitely see it is you were a fan of the series, if you weren't I'd suggest at least a single viewing. It has a lot of laughs, and a lot of rather amazing animation from a direct to DVD film. The Beast with a Billion Backs releases Tuesday June 24th.

Rewinding

2008-06-16T02:01:00.007-04:00

So heres number two for the day and what I will consider my Monday update (unless I do one later today.) I figured it would be better to do the review now as opposed to tomorrow, where I'll probably be too tired to bother, so here is...

Be King Rewind

Be Kind Rewind opened in 808 theaters it's opening weekend and 810 total... It brought in $4,050,655 the first weekend, topping out at $11,175,164 national and $17,040,551 world wide.

The movie is about two men, Mike (Def) who works in a small self owned rental store and Jerry (Black) his best friend. When Jerry is magnetized while trying to sabotage the electrical power plant next to his home and erases the tape, the two must recreate the films themselves...

This movie is pretty decent, which is a shame really. When I first heard about this film it looked more than just decent, it looked great. It looked like a film filmed with pop culture and movie industry... But most of the recreation scenes go by so fast, theres nothing but a sight gag to take from it.

But all in all the movie is very good, Mos and Jack play well off each other with Black's usual outlandish personality contrasting well with Def's calm and quiet attitude.

It's a competent comedy with more than a few laughs and a very good cast, just don't expect anything spectacular when you pick it up. Suggested to fans of Jack Black and Mos Def, and anyone looking for a decent comedy. Be Kind Rewind releases June 17th...

Theories

2008-06-15T23:40:00.003-04:00

A bit later than I thought I would be when getting around to this bit better late than never. Expect a review of Be Kind Rewind either late tonight, or mid day Monday. For now I'm reviewing...

Chaos Theory

Chaos Theory did $240,476 in theaters, which may seem like a very small number, but it had a release of about 11 theaters in the US, and no world wide release.

The story follows the life of Frank Allen (Reynolds) a man who's life is set by schedule, that is until one day a small change throws his entire life through a loop. Now foregoing his meticulously planned life he throws every choice to random chance, and embraces Chaos.

I was expecting more of this film, quite honestly. When I saw the trailers I was actually excited, as I'm a huge Ryan Reynolds fan and love to see him in leads. His performance is great, but the story around it seems lacking. I found myself becoming distracted easily from the film, having to rewind to catch parts I had missed.

The movie is not bad though, it's a decent dark comedy, and releases June 17th. I suggest it to hardcore Reynolds fans.

Trick or Treat

2008-06-15T02:13:00.005-04:00

I'm actually working on Monday, so there might be two updates tomorrow, or one update tomorrow and one mid day Monday. But for now, bit of a random movie, bit of an older one too... But I felt like reviewing it.

Halloween

Halloween opened strong with $26,362,367 made it's opening weekend, it went on to make $58,272,029 national and $78,301,528 world wide. Considering the film only costed 15 million to make, it's actually pretty impressive.

The movie is the retelling of John Carpenter's classic slasher film of the same name. It follows the life of Micheal Myers, a disturbed young boy who kills his older sister on Halloween night... He spends fifteen years in a mental hospital before breaking out to search for his baby sister.

I remember when I saw House of a Thousand Corpses, the credits rolled, and I was beside myself. I paused for a moment, rolling the film around in my head for a bit before coming to the conclusion that Rob Zombie should never be allowed to make Movies. I said the same about Devil's rejects... To me Zombie's films seemed to be filled with graphic and disturbing imagery without real reason... I've seen attempts at adding some form of meaning to the relentless gore... But it always seems drowned out, muddled...

It actually comes to a shock to me how tame Halloween is. I went in expecting horrific imagery, disturbing deaths, and shocking murders. What is in the movie is no more than what one would expect to find in a slasher film... A few stabs here and there, and mostly off screen.

I feel like I'm being unfair, so let me get back on track. This movie is a 'reimaging' of Micheal Myer's story, those expecting a simple remake should steer clear, as the first forty minutes of the film deal with Myers' past and time in the Mental institution, and unfortunately, it's the only decent part of the film.

The new material really does catch you, draws you into the story of what Micheal is, and what he becomes, sadly shortly after he escapes and the movie moves from original material to remake it falls apart, becoming bland and boring. The killings are nothing spectacular, the constant screams were irritating, and the attempts to strike fear or worry for the characters failed, since we spent so little time with them compared to Micheal.

All the characters feel one dimensional except for Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell). Everyone else feels ripped out of a stereotype ranging from ditzy teen to scumbag redneck.

The film is not bad though, don't get me wrong, it's just not good. There are many many better slasher flicks available, like the original Halloween... I suggest this really only to people who have nothing better to watch, and then only if it's on TV.

Incredible

2008-06-13T02:48:00.007-04:00

Ah now this was a movie I have been wanting to see for ages, and yet it never even crossed my mind to review it... I just came back from the Midnight Showing so it's still fresh off the reels! It is none other than...

The Incredible
HULK

As it literally released but a few hours ago at the time of writing this there are no numbers, be sure to check back Monday for them.
EDIT: Numbers in and The Incredible Hulk smashed the Box Office with $55,414,050 it's first weekend

The Incredible Hulk is about Bruce Banner, who five years previous to the movie had an accident while preforming an experiment on himself... Now whenever he is under stress or angry he becomes incredibly strong and dangerous monster... Bruce finds himself ever searching for a cure while evading the US Government, who want to use it as a weapon.

The last time we saw our giant green friend was in the 2003 attempt to adapt the comic to the big screen. Ang Lee's vision of the Hulk was not very well accepted by the fans, comments that the story was slow moving and that the action, while great, was lacking in consistency compared to the rest of the story. There was also some issues with how the Hulk looked, some saying that the CG completely took them out of the film.

I always defended the film, accepting that it had faults, but was enjoyable. I felt the story captured why the Hulk comic book is so enjoyable, not the green monster smashing up tanks, but the modern telling of the classic story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In the end all I could do was accept my Hulk movie with it's flaws.

Then I saw The Incredible Hulk...

I simply cannot express how enjoyable this movie was. Edward Norton, co-screen writer and star as Bruce Banner is simply an amazing man, he was able to produce a story that kept the struggle of a man with a monster hidden within him, but also deliver some amazing action sequences. The story stays consistent from beginning to end and does not lag or slow down at all. It incorporates themes from both the comic and 70's television show flawlessly, and even sets up for a possible sequel with yet another of the Hulks great Arch Villains.

It truly makes me happy to see how well Marvel Studios is doing, finally enabling crossover material previously impossible do to licensing issues. Keep your eye open for Stark Industry and S.H.I.E.L.D logos, and once again an ending leading up to a very specific movie penned for release (at the time of writing) in 2011.

If your a Hulk fan go see it, you will not be disappointed, if you aren't, it's a great summer action flick and I still suggest seeing it while in theaters.

Lists

2008-06-09T21:28:00.003-04:00

Oddly enough I actually worked today, it threw me off in my update, but here I am. I have a few movies I may review throughout the week, but work is draining me so no promises. For now though?

The Bucket List

The Bucket List opened it's first weekend with $19,392,416 and went on to make $93,466,502 nationally and $172,466,502 world wide.

The story is about two men, Carter Chambers (Freeman) and Edward Cole (Nicholson) both find out they have but months to live, distraught they go out together with plans of completeing their Bucket List, a list of things to do before they die.

Theres not a lot to say about this movie, it is in a word, fantastic. Nicholson and Freeman, two of the best actors alive, give this movie a feeling of truth and heart. It's amazing to see two men of such high caliber work together.

The only thing I can say against it is the fact that these two men are getting older... It's sad to see great actors become older,it means that they may eventually stop acting, and soon may not be around at all.

Go see the movie, it's great, and carries an interesting message of accomplishing goals in your life before it's too late. The Bucket List comes out on DVD on June 10th.

Eye Strain

2008-06-02T18:24:00.003-04:00

Second movie of the day! And yet another not yet released flick. Its the movie I hinted at last week but never got a chance to sit down and watch, it is...

The Eye

The eye opened at $12,425,776 which may sound small, but actually covered the entire budget of the film. It went on to make $31,418,697 national and $54,417,244 world wide.

The Eye is about Sydney Wells (Alba) a woman blind since the age of five, who finally has a successful cornea transplant and is able to see... But she begins to have strange horrifying visions of ghosts and death... As these visions haunt her she must try and find out whats real and whats not.

This film is yet another American remake of a Japanese horror film in the same vein as The Ring and The Grudge, cause apparently America has forgotten how to be scary...

But that is the thing with this movie...It's not scary. It felt like every shocking scene, of which there was only a handful, came and went so quick you really didn't get a chance to absorb what happened. The entire movie runs like this even to the end, flash of something then a long stretch of nothing.

The movie seems to follow the same thing thats wrong, to me anyway, with the Ring. There is no real danger... Throughout the movie we see these visions of ghosts and 'death shadows'... but we never see Alba's character get downright attacked in the film, the ghosts will jump at her, and she will be grabbed in a vision, but nothing actually happens.

No danger or risk till the very end, this seems to want to be a psychological thriller trapped in a Horror movie's body. It drags on for a while before actually moving the story along, I really can't suggest it to many. It releases June 3rd.

Jump

2008-06-02T10:30:00.003-04:00

Okay so I've decided, since it seems to be difficult for me to update on a random schedule that I need a specific day to update. I didn't want to give myself something set it stone, because god forbid I don't have anything for that day...But none the less, I have decided to do Monday updated, with sporadic updates throughout the week whenever I get around to it. Today I will be doing two updates, as today there is no time limitation on watching them. First up?

JUMPER

Jumper opened at number one bringing in $27,354,808 it's opening weekend and stayed at number one for two weeks despite negative reviews. It ended up pulling in $79,840,473 domestic and $220,789,758 world wide.

Jumper is about David Rice, a man who at a young age discovered he had the ability to teleport anywhere he wanted, with this ability he makes a life of complete freedom for himself. But when an organization known as the Paladins, people who kill 'Jumpers', comes after him, he must fight back.

Jumper was another movie panned by general critics, yet despite it seems to be enjoyed bu audiences, and this movie truly is enjoyable. The story is pretty basic on the surface, but has a certain complexity to it, room to grow into sequels, of which there are two planned... But the real selling point is the action, the visuals, and the physics.

The scenes where Hayden's character is shown teleporting across the globe are just draw dropping. The entire sequence makes me smile, and instantly gives a matter of fact feel to the teleporting, as if this were just a normal day. It reminds me of the opening sequence to I Am Legend where Will Smith traverses the empty New York City, the two scenes made me say "If the movie was two hours of just this, I'd still watch it."

But of course thats not all it, the fight scenes, ah, the fight scenes. There is really nothing that can compare to what they do with the physics and visuals of these port fights. Each fight is unique, with something different, fact paced and involving, and just plain fun.

And Physics geeks also will not be disappointed as the movie follows amazingly well the 'rules' that would go along with the theoretical physics of teleportation. Teleporting causes a vaccume when leaving and a sudden burst of air and concussion on arrival...

The movie is just fun and is all that should be expected when watching. I highly suggest it to Physic Geeks and anyone looking for a really entertaining fast paced action flick. Jumpers releases June 10th... And I highly anticipate it's sequel.

First Rambo

2008-05-26T16:32:00.008-04:00

So this is the second down, expect a review of The Eye either tonight or tomorrow...

RAMBO

Rambo did pretty decently in the Box Office,. It had an opening weekend of $18,203,876, not phenomenal but decent enough... It made $42,754,105 here in the states and topped at $103,893,083 world wide. It's kinda weird that it made more money out of the States than in.

John Rambo, now living in Thailand, is approached by a group of missionaries looking to aide the people of Burma, devastated by the local power Than Shwe. After dropping them off, the village is soon attacked and the missionaries are taken captive. Now John Rambo and a group of Mercenaries must go in and save them.

I must make a confession that I've never actually seen a Rambo movie (more accurately a First Blood movie). Oh I've seen bits and pieces of each film but never all the way through. I never dug the Action Hero movie where a man can walk into the line of fire of fifty men and come out unscathed. It's the reason I've always been a bigger Die Hard fan, as John McClane gets thrashed in each film.

I went into this film expecting a glossy action flick, and when the credits rolled I let out a half hearted 'meh.' The film just didn't hold together for me. The plot was lame, but I expected that... The enemy soldiers were all cruel and sadistic bastards to the point of making Hitler look like an okay guy... But I do understand that there are sick deranged people who do rule over impoverished people...

Maybe the thing that really killed the film for me was that there were only three or four actual action sequences IN the movie, and this includes the explosive finale. I went into this movie EXPECTING the plot to be dull, the enemies to be worse than Nazis, but also with the expectation of a big action sequence or explosion evert five to ten minutes, but it didn't turn out that way.

I don't know, maybe seeing all the other films would have made me enjoy this more. In fact thats the only real people I can suggest this to, people who have seen all the other films, IE fans. If you're uninitiated into the ways of John Rambo you're not going to be drawn in by this one, thats for sure. Rambo releases tomorrow, thats May 27th 2008.

Flawless Victory

2008-05-26T14:53:00.004-04:00

Okay so this is how it goes, it's a movie day. I'm gonna try my best to bang out at LEAST three movie reviews today while attempting to watch all the movies I need to before I have to bring them back. In fact, as I write this review I am watching Rambo... Though I must say it does not look like I'll be able to watch Street Racer, the Asylum Speed Racer rip off. But for NOW I bring you...

FLAWLESS

The box office for Flawless is a bit skewed since it only had a limited release in the states, meaning not all theaters played it, and theaters that did probably didn't play it for very long. Even still it took home $1,067,665 domestic, and was able to bring in $4,811,166 world wide.

The movie is a crime drama taking place in the 1960s, focusing on Mr. Gibbs (Caine) a Janitor for the London Diamond Corporation, and Laura Quinn (Moore) an executive stifled for years from a proper promotion because she is a woman. Gibbs comes to Laura with a proposition, to steal diamonds from their work. Though when Mr. Gibbs steals more than he said he would Laura finds herself in over her head.

This movie is, in a word, calm. It has no action, no tense moments that makes you hold your breath, and no ticking clock with a red and blue wire... Even the robbery itself is rather tame... What it does have is a terrific story, and a wonderful cast. Each scene is involving and interesting as it builds on the story...

This movie comes out on DVD on June 3rd and is for those who want to relax and simply enjoy a very well told story. If you're expecting Ocean's 11, or something similar with action or suspense, please just keep on moving.

Whip Crack

2008-05-23T05:03:00.004-04:00

I must again apologize for the fact that I haven't been updating, it's just been a rough couple weeks and I haven't been able to motivate myself to sit down and write. But thats no excuse... I saw this movie last night, midnight show of course, but I was too tired to review it when I got home, and then ended up sitting on it all day. The movie is, of course...

Indiana Jones
and the
Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls

Of course the movie doesn't have a box office yet, I fear that it will be much lower than this movie deserves, I will update on Monday, I can give you my word on this. EDIT Whoops! Almost forgot to update the box office. Indy 4 opened at an amazing $100,137,835 and has gone on to make $298,347,101 worldwide already, and it's only been a week!

The movie is about, of course, Indiana Jones and his latest adventure. Taking place in 1957 it is about ten years since the last film, leaving Indy a much older man. He is captured by Commie Russians to aide in the search for the hidden kingdom of gold, which legend tells if a stolen crystal skull is returned, will give great power to the person who brought the skull.

The movie is, in my opinion, really great. I loved it from start to finish, the interaction between Harrison and Shia made me laugh so many times, and the aging adventurer, archaeologists, and part time college professor Jones still kicks as much ass as he does in previous films.

But, moving past that, I know this movie will not be well received. I was discussing this with a friend, and he put it very well... "Which is better: Magical Religious Artifacts, or Magical Alien Artifcats?" He followed by saying some people cannot take both. I know it will turn off some casual fans, and downright enrage Indy fans to see so much reference to Alien beings... But when I saw it, I saw what was really going on...

Indiana Jones was based off of the old Action Comic Serials from the 1940s, where gung ho adventurers would traverse the jungles with nothing more than a machete, a side arm, and a rope. Where these treasure seekers could lay out a man with one well placed sock in the jaw, and often saved a new damsel in distress with each new adventure.

This is the core of what Indy was, these serials. But when the 1950s came about, Serials were about Men from Mars, alien beings from distant worlds and dimensions. The serials took a new aspect of sci-fi and government conspiracies. I found it amazingly entertaining to see Indy follow suit as he moved from the brazen adventures of the 40s to the sci-fi terrors of the 1950s.

This is a movie that will probably split the fan-base in two, those who love and hate it... And it's a shame, because it really was a great film.

A side note, I will be updating more often hell or high water, I have a stack of new movies to review including Rambo, The Eyes, and yet another Asylum flick, plus maybe a Movie Industry Rant if I can get my thoughts down straight.

X Marks the Spot... Again

2008-05-15T19:52:00.005-04:00

I have to apologize for the lack of updates, I had a sudden case of real life and was unable to watch any movies in the past week. But I have today, and it's one I've wanted to do since I got it on Tuesday. It feels right doing this as what my first review was... So I bring you...

National Treasure 2:

Book of secrets

National Treasure opened at number one in theaters and made $44,783,772 it's first weekend, going on to make $219,548,127 national and a total of $456,878,994 world wide.

In this installment of National Treasure, Benjamin Gates is brought evidence that his great grandfather was the mastermind behind the Lincoln assassination, refusing to believe it he goes off to search for the truth, finding yet another string of clues in history, and another forgotten treasure.

Not much I can truly say about this movie. It follows the same formula as the first, Ben and his gang follow clues tied into historical landmarks and buildings, attempting to stay under the radar of the authorities and out of the cross-hair's of rival treasure hunters. Thats not to say that is bad, the movie is once again a very good popcorn flick.

If you enjoyed the first one, you'll enjoy this one, if you didn't enjoy the first you'll probably pass over this movie without a second thought anyway. Though I am glad to hear that there is works for a third installment. I've always been a bit of a fan of Nicholas Cage, and he plays this role of a man too smart for his own good very well.

If you're a fan of action films with a hint of mystery, and a well contained story, go ahead and pick up National Treasure 2 when it's released on May 20th.

Untraceable

2008-05-10T15:30:00.004-04:00

So as promised, the review I planned yesterday, I'm still plan on seeing and reviewing Forbidden Kingdom today, but I cannot make any promises as I'm not sure as to when or if I will be able to get to the movie theater today... But enough of that, lets move onto...

UNTRACEABLE

Untraceable did a bit poorly in theaters. It only made $11.3 million it's opening weekend and 28.6 million total in America, well below it's $35 million dollar budget. Although it did make $48.5 million world wide. Unfortunately, most studios consider only the opening weekend of a movie for it's success.

This is another movie that was panned by critics. It was considered hypocritical in it's message against shock sites with it's blatant display of 'torture porn'. I don't agree with these opinions. The movie is at it's core a Thriller with some aspects of Horror, this means that there will be scenes that are both shocking and horrifying.

The movie is about Jennifer Marsh, an agent in the FBI's Cybercrime department. It's her job to catch internet criminals the likes of identity theft and internet pedophiles. She soon gets a tip of a website, KillWithMe.com, a site where a person is killed live via streaming web cam. The more people who watch, the faster the person dies. Jennifer must now try and find and stop the murderer before the internet masses kill any more people.

The movie seems to hone in on the internet community, anyone who has been to certain seedier sites knows that shock videos and disturbing images come in by the bucket load and that there are those who frequent these sites that not only watch, but enjoy it. One of the more enjoyable things of this movie is pausing it and reading the 'comments' of the murder site.

But don't go into this movie expecting something big or long lasting, it is a competent Thriller and nothing more. It has some truly gruesome death scenes for the gore fans... But there is very little more to it than that. Not that thats a bad thing...

I suggest this movie to anyone who's interested in the internet, it's spanning communities and technology, as well as fans of thrillers and gore fests. It's not as deep as Silence of the Lambs, nor as brutal as Hostel, but it finds a nice balance in between.

Go Speed Racer Go!

2008-05-10T01:09:00.006-04:00

Sorry for the lack of updated lately, my personal schedule kind of worked against me the pact couple days. I had actually planned on reviewing Untraceable today, but was unable to finish it. I wasn't able to finish it because of the movie I'm reviewing today... So expect Untraceable tomorrow as well as, if plans go right, a Forbidden Kingdom review. But for now...

SPEED RACER

As speed racer just released today, I of course have no numbers for it. That will be updated Monday when the Box Office numbers come in as per usual. EDIT: Apologies for the lateness in getting to this. Speed racer had an opening weekend of $18,561,337, this is unfortunately low, but was predictable.

The movie is of course, if you didn't know, an adaptation of the 1960's Anime, which was one of the first Animes to come to America. It's about Speed Racer, a young man who is a natural at racing. When he hits it big he is pulled into realizing the corruption in the sport that has been his whole life. He decides to fight against it the only way he knows how, by winning...

It seems that Speed Racer was thoroughly thrashed by most Critics out there, and I can not understand why. The only reason I can think of is that most critics don't know the source material, that being the anime. The way the film portrays some of the campy almost tongue in cheek humor from the original show, while still maintaining an involving and well told story is just masterful.

The movie is also visually stunning. Every scene is just beautiful and vibrant, the world this movie creates just feels like a real world anime, and keeps amazing throughout as we see new and mind blowing effects and scenery throughout.

The only problem I can see is the uninitiated. This movie does tailor to fans and kids, and perhaps those who have never heard or seen Speed Racer might take the story and portrayal of the world as a bit kiddy and hard to swallow...

I suggest this to anyone who enjoys Speed Racer, the adaptation revolutionizes and modernizes the world, while still remaining amazingly true to the source material. It's also a great film for families, or people just looking for an amazing spectacle of visualization and action.

Monster Bash

2008-05-07T13:34:00.004-04:00

Bleh... I really don't want to do this. In fact yesterday I put this movie off until the night, and actually fell asleep half way through because of how tired I was. But I made a promise, finished the movie today, and now I bring to you...

MONSTER

Another direct to DVD flick by the film studio The Asylum, the company that has no shame in ripping other people off, in this case, Cloverfield. Now again there are no numbers, not even for simple DVD sales. Trust me, I've looked...

Before we get to the actual movie... Lets talk about the actual ripping off part, the Handycam. Giant Monster movies are not rip offs, they are in fact genres of course... A rather old genre though, that has lost a lot of steam in the past few years... I always thought the idea of the handycam would bring back some old classic genre flicks, like George Romero's upcoming Diary of the Dead. What a great way to reinvision the classic Zombie Movie...

But I'm getting away from my point. Giant Monster movies are a Genre, Handycams are a great way to put life back into dying genres... A Giant Monster Movie filmed in Handycam? Rip off.

On to the actual movie the plot is pretty simple. Two film makers, sisters, go to Japan to make a documentary about global warming. It is in the middle of an interview that the city is attacked by a strange monster, the girls spend the rest of the movie trying to escape while documenting every moment.

Let me start off by saying these two girls, established as filmmakers in the film, must have the worst camera ever made. Throughout the film you will be bombarded by static, warping and distorted tape, and a variety of other camera glitches that really should not occure every time the camera is moved slightly to the left.

Cloverfield got a lot of stick for it's camera work in regards to obscuring any full shot of the monster attacking with buildings or angle, but Monster takes it well beyond that as we never see anything more than a tentacle or two of the actual creature attacking the city. This truly takes away from the atmosphere of the film because, to me at least, it's hard to be afraid of something that has no apparent sensory... Tentacles can not see, hear, or smell and therefore simply flail around... Makes the monster more of a hazard than anything to be afraid of.

The atmosphere is further reduced as we see the girl's many a time on a pristine city street with nary a sign of debris at all, or a flourishing park, a roof top, a very nice looking store... The movie continues to give us the impression that Tokyo is being destroyed... But we never get that impression from the scenery at all until it's necessary for the plot to have a pile of rubble for them to walk on.

The acting though, from the two leading actresses at least, is pretty decent. Not award winning, but more than you'd expect from the material given. The girls do their best to make do with the material, and while there were scenes that grained down on me, I can only compliment the two for doing the best they can with what they were given.

Sadly it was not enough.

Another flop from The Asylum, another movie I wish I had never watched. The only saving point truly was going in expecting it to be as bad as AvH, going in with lowered standards is the only way to watch this movie... I suggest you just pass on by if you see it.

Wake Up

2008-05-06T00:19:00.003-04:00

Two movies in one day, I'm on a roll. This movie though, is not of the aforementioned pile I got last week, no this is from the pile I got today. It's a movie I walked by every day at worked, but never realized what it was. Now I do, so without further interruptions I bring you...

AWAKE

Awake seems to have gotten a lot of stick from some critics, though it was never made available to critics before release, it went on to make $14,223,684 domestic and $15,228,733 worldwide.

The premise is simple enough... Clay Beresford is a billionaire business man in his early twenties, he's in love with a girl, and could not ask for anything more. Theres just one problem...He has a weak heart, and a rare blood type. When a donor heart finally comes in he is put under for the operation. It's soon after he realizes he is still awake, completely paralyzed, and that his doctors plan to kill him.

I'm not exactly sure why the critics at large seemed to deem this movie a failure, though not all of them did... Roger Ebert said he was completely absorbed by the film. I'm not going to pretend this is the greatest film of all time, but it was good. The story was involving, the characters genuine, and Hayden Christian does a wonderful job in the lead as Clay. It's not a film that will change your life, nor does it pretend to be. It's a movie that has a story that it tells well.

Definitely worth a watch. It's unique and doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not.

The Geek Debaters

2008-05-05T17:43:00.004-04:00

Another day another movie. I wax actually planning on doing this last night, but when I got home I found myself just a little too tired to watch a movie and then review it. So I went to bed so I could be refreshed and ready to review...

The Great Debaters

The Great Debaters opened up at 11th it's first weekend while bringing in 6,005,180 and going on to making $30,227,882 total, more than double it's 15 million dollar budget.

The Great Debaters is about a great many things. It's core plot is about Melvin B. Tolson (Denzel Washington) the coach of the Wiley College Debate Team in 1935 America and his students, but tackles other issues like dealing with the depression, fear of communism and socialism in America, and of course Racism in the south.

Denzel Washington plays the part of lead role and director of this film and does a very good job. I've always liked Denzel, the man has a certain charisma and attitude that always makes him the perfect choice for movies with heavy dialog (Philadelphia, Malcolm X).

The movie touches on each issue of the time without being overbearing or coming off self righteous, which is pretty impressive considering just how many issues are touched upon and the very nature of the film, debate teams, people who argue two very polar ideas to a conclusion.

The movie is based on true events, and is definitely worth watching. I suggest this to a person who enjoys films like Dead Poets Society and Philadelphia. The Great Debaters will be available on DVD Tuesday May 17

Sink Your Teeth Into

2008-05-04T03:06:00.005-04:00

And yet another review. I believe this is a new record for me. So what I have for today is a movie not available until March Sixth (this Tuesday), so I kind of feel like a legit critic, reviewing something before it's available to the public. It is none other than...

TEETH

Teeth is a film that was traveling the indie film festivals last year and never had a national theater release, so it does not have a Box Office number. Though Jess Weixler, the lead actress, won the Special Jury prize for Dramatic Performance at the Sundance Film Festival in 2007, a reward she well deserved.

The plot, if you don't follow the Independent Film circles is this; Dawn is a special girl, she is the most active member of her and her friends Chaste Club, though when a new boy comes to town she begins having impure thoughts. When these two young teenagers go out for a swim, things move to far for Dawn and thats when she discovers her Vagina Dentata. Dawn then tries to understand, cope with, and eventually enjoy her unique vaginal teeth.

The movie is quite honestly great. It's unique, well preformed, and masterfly combines aspects of dark comedy with actual horror. The woman playing Dawn, Jess Weixler is great in this role, and I do hope to see her move swiftly into some mainstream work, she is simply great to watch on screen.

A lot of this movie is about sex, obviously, and abstinence. There is a scene that is truly creepy as Dawn comes to speak at an abstinence seminar where all the children spout in unison quotes from the bible.

I think the true message of this movie is; if you're going to have sex... Make sure it's safe.

Reign Over Geek

2008-05-03T02:47:00.007-04:00

I have on my desk a slew of interesting movies, each one I plan on giving a review to... Beowulf, the movie I mentioned in my AVH review Monster, and two movies I plan to review tomorrow that have not yet hit the streets on DVD; The Great Debaters and Teeth. In all honesty I am looking forward to Teeth, I heard about it a while ago while it was running the indie film festivals. But for tonight I am reviewing...

Reign Over Me

The numbers for this particular movie are difficult, as it did not play in all theaters nation wide. It only played in 1,671 theaters when it opened, grossing 7.5 Million for the first weekend, and going on to make 19.7 Million national, and 1.2 Million international.

I want to start off by saying that I absolutely love when comedy actors play a drama, it always puts a smile on my face and always lets us see how much range they truly have. Robin Williams did this in Final Cut, Insomnia, and One Hour Photo, Jim Carrey does it in The Number 23, and Adam Sandler does it in Reign over Me.

That being said when I first started to see trailers for this movie I groaned. I thought it was going to be a movie that sort of exploited 9/11 for the plot like World Trade Center, or United 93. Thats not to say that 9/11 should be barred from movie plot, but it seems cheap, as to attack a movie like that would be akin to attacking the actual events themselves.

But this movie... Does not do that. The movie, for those who don't know, is about two men... Alan Johnson, a family man and dentist meets up with his old high school friend Charlie Fineman, a man who has lost his family and life in the events of 9/11 who now suffers from Post Traumatic Stress syndrome. The movie follows the two men's friendship as they lean on each other and eventually make steps to help Charlie face his problems and gain his life back.

The movie does not dwell so much on 9/11, it truly feels like it is simply a movie about two friends who need each other to help solve their problems. This movie also has some truly heart wrenching scenes as Charlie tries to cope with what happened and attempt to overcome his illness.

Adam Sandler does an amazing job in this movie, really showing his skill as an actor. And his chemistry with Don Cheadle makes the friendship between Alan and Charlie look so genuine. The struggle as Charlie attempts to get help for his PTS is portrayed so well, it's actually yugs at your heart to see the pain in his eyes...

The movie is great, it's powerful, deep, and has many laughs as well. You may find yourself laughing out loud in one scene, and then brought to tears in another. A great film for those who love to watch movies with real people and real emotions in them.

Iron Geek

2008-05-02T03:01:00.007-04:00

As promised to you by me last night, I have a new review of a new movie that is actually in theaters. It released today (May 2) and I was able to catch a Midnight Showing. It is none other than...

Iron Man

As it is a fresh from the pot new release there are no numbers yet for Iron Man, though this Monday I will get them and be able to post them accordingly. I am sure this will be the top grossing movie of the weekend.
EDIT: Numbers are in, and man they're impressive. Iron Man went on to make $104,250,000 Domestic and $95,500,000 foreign, making its total world wide gross $199,750,000. Thats nearly two hundred million... and it's only the opening weekend!

Iron Man. It's yet another Comic Book movie. We're getting a lot of them this year and I couldn't be happier because more is on the way. The synopses, for those of you who haven't read the comic is this; Tony Stark, head of Stark Enterprises a leading arms seller to the US Government is gunned down while making a presentation of one of his companies latests weapons. He finds himself a captive of terrorists, and severely wounded. When freed he finds a new inspiration to life and builds himself a high tech battle suit to protect people from the weapons he himself created.

I have to admit... When I first heard about this movie and that Robert Downy Jr. was slated to play Iron Man, I was hesitant. Robby boy is a great actor don't get me wrong, and I wasn't trying to be slated by his past... But could he handle...Iron Man? Could he be Tony Stark?

The answer is yes. In fact I am always shocked that I didn't see it sooner. There is probably no man better to play a cocky egomaniac playboy like Stark better than Jr. The man comes off with this cocky yet charming attitude and comes off as really funny.

The whole movie is great. The effects of the Iron Man suit are amazing and seamless, it looks truly wonderful and at the same time looks like it's there. The action is fast paced yet easy to follow and involving. The story comes together nicely and while not being an expert on Iron Man, I believe they stayed true to the source material.

I will be very glad to see a franchise of sequels come from this. Though I do believe Marvel has something up their sleeves with these new summer releases... I cannot be quoted on this, but with the Hulk coming out this summer and a Captain America film announced, I believe the Avengers movie will be a direct Movieverse crossover.

Go see the film. And remember to stay for the End Credits.

Geek Vs AVH

2008-04-30T22:23:00.001-04:00

And so I make my first review since my return, I actually consider a Public Service Announcement as well as just wanting SOMETHING up here besides my "I'm back" post. The movie I am reviewing is...

AVH Alien vs. Hunter

If you are noticing something slightly familiar don't be surprised... It is in fact what you think it is. A cheap imitation of the AVP sequel. This is the part of the review where I usually start quoting numbers. But I cannot find any. This was a direct to DVD release, and therefore has no box office numbers. The movie is produced by a company called The Asylum, who is no stranger to the rip art of rip off. With movies like I Am Omega, Snakes on a Train, and a Handycam film about a monster attacking a city in Japan called, originally enough, Monster... Which I might actually watch and review next week if I'm feeling self destructive enough.

The movie premise itself is pretty simple, if you've watched AVP Requiem, you already know it. The most deadly alien in the universe lands on Earth, followed by a hunter sworn to take it down. A small town and it's inhabitants get trapped in the crossfires.

This review might not be too thorough as I honestly could not finish watching it. I know it may sound a bit unprofessional, but it was truly unwatchable. I picked this movie up out of morbid curiosity and went in expecting certain things. Bad acting; yes, unoriginal story and boring characters; yes and yes, cheap effects; so many. But I was not expecting such a bland experience. The story, characters, and acting is so dry, so uninvolving that you pray for the aliens to come just so you can get away from the main characters, and perhaps lose a few of them. But when that happens we are treated to an action sequence that consists of the main cast running around quite honestly like crazy people, and most of the time the aliens simply stagger about as if it's hard to move around in their costumes.

The similarities to AVP is never subtle. The alien is a slimey grotesque beast with a long dome like head. The Hunter is a high tech humanoid wearing a sort of battle suit carrying a powerful laser weapon, cloaking capability, and his helmet gives him different types of vision fields.

I cannot in good conscience recommend this movie to anyone. When picking it up a co-worker had chuckled slightly and told me it might be a good movie to MS3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000), meaning a good movie to watch and make fun of... But honestly I can't even say that.

If you ever do find this movie on the shelf of whatever video store you frequent, put it down and walk away. There are too many other B Sci-Fi films which are better than this. It is one of the worst films I have ever seen.

Return of Movie Geek

2008-04-30T22:08:00.001-04:00

Okay... Well, I have been away for quite some time. Maybe it's for the best, as my opinions and information of certain movies wouldn't be called... correct. I was debating simply deleting my old posts and starting anew. But I don't think I will, those were my early attempts at doing something I had never done previously. I think I should own up to them. "Yes. I was once a novice. I made mistakes, though now I am better."

Least I hope I am.

Why have I brought back a blog I haven't updated in nearly three years? A couple reasons actually. I need a place to hone my writing skills, I want to become better, and sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself into doing it. This will give me a chance to write, while doing something I enjoy doing, talking about movies.

The second reason is that I am now financially more secure (sort of) than I was when I wrote this before. I also have a new job which gives me better access to movies (Blockbuster). This means I will always have access to SOME form of movie to review.

I will still be doing Theater movies, but it's not a guaranteed. I simply am unable to get to the theaters as much as I'd like. Hopefully if all goes well, I will have an Iron Man review for you tomorrow night.

Hopefully I can keep this thing going, hopefully I can improve not only my writing skills but my opinion and view of movies in general... Hopefully someone will actually read this.

Fantastic Failure

2005-07-07T22:46:00.002-04:00

About a month ago, I was debating on putting this site on Hiatus, I had hit an all time low in funds, and just couldn't see any movie whatsoever. There was also that little conflict I had with myself about the "Being too generouse" with movie reviews. Yeah well, I then fell into some personal problem and the site just became less and less important. But no more... Hell or high Heaven, there will be an update every Thursday.

Now what I could do today, is give a review to War of the Worlds, not gonna do it. Go see it, it's pretty good. I could also tell you about why you should NOT see Herbie: Fully Loaded, but I would hope that the reasons would be obviouse, so thats a no go either. What I am gonna talk about today is something opening tommorow. Fantastic Four.

A year or two ago, when I first heard of prodiction of Fantastic Four movie, I was a giddy little school boy. I was happy, as it is one of the greatest comics out there, and the posabilities were just endless. Now I stare upon it as a foul and dirty accident left on the rug by a dog.

Lets go with this. Now I understand that in every comic book adaptation, things change to better help the material make the transfer to the silver screen. Spiderman lost his web shooters, the Absorbing Man was Hulks father, Elektra was a smarmy rich daughter. Trust me I understand this, I defend most of this. But the changes made to Fantastic Four is just too much.

It all pretty much revolves around Doom. One of the major.... No, THE majot villian of the entire Fantastic Four series. We first see him as the iron fisted ruler of some eastern Europ country, apparently horrifically scarred by an accident in college, an accident cause by Dr. Reed Richard... Our very own, Mr. Fantastic. Doom swears a vendetta against Reed, for he truley believes that Richard is the reason behind his horrific scars. And thats where his trademark comes. He covers his hidious face, with a mask of metal.
Doom never had any powers. What he had was a genius mind, masterful tactition abilities, and enough monies and subordinates to throw at anything. He created death rays, weapons, ships, robots. He whipped up masterful plans that punished the Fantastic four. If he could help it, he would never throw a punch.

But all that changes. No longer is Doom a dctator, he's some big business owner, who supplies the funds to Richards space project, and for whatever reason, tags along. No longer is he scarred, no longer is he powerless. He can now hurl bolts of lightning around. And wears the mask because it looks cool apparently. No mention of scarring whatsoever.
No more minions or machines, now he's just a powerhouse that for some reason, takes four people to take down. It destroys the very staple that was Fantastic four. And then? A love triangle. Sue Strorm, ex-girlfriend to Richard, either used to Date Doom, or was dating him during the accident. Wow, what drama, what a twist, what craptastic writting. So now that akward storyline is set in place, leads to many many bad lines between Sue and Doom, which are not needed.

Jonny, oh Jonny. The Human Tourch was always the wild one, funny one, always the one spitting out random catch phrases. But the guy just comes off as an annoying dick in any form of prievew I see. A distraction from the main plot as he tries to be cool, funny, and likable at the same time. He will be playing the heart of the conflict within the team, Richard desperatly wants to keep the accident and their powers a secret, Jonny wants to be fame and fortune, thats pretty much it. Both Richard and Jonny come to a middle point, where Richard realizes the need for their powers, and Jonny realizes that he must use his powers for good, instead of fame. See there? I haven't even seen the movie and I already explained n hour and a half worth of plot.

Ben, The Thing. Well, from what I can tell, besides the horrible way they give his "Clobberin' Time" line, is done well enough. I assume it's because The Thing is such a basic character, he can't help but be done right. He's a huge green rocked monster, children fear him, he doesn't like that. Remorse and depression comes, but he still realizes he's gotta kick ass.

Just don't bother with it. The acting looks horrible, the plot laughable, and it will piss off each and every Comic book fan there is. Wait for it to come on TV.

If I am motivated too, I will see it and give a proper review tommorow, I can't make promises.

Have Towel, Will Travel.

2005-04-30T03:13:00.002-04:00

Okay so here's the deal. The single reason that I have not posted in a long time, is because I've been giving the impression of being too generous, all the movies I have so far reviewed, have gotten a very generously good review. I seem biased, so I held off until I saw a movie I deemed bad enough to warn people about. But as my dollar has been short, I really wasn't inclined to throw money at something I wasn't gonna enjoy, and all the bad movies I've seen on TV were either shut off, or too old to even bother. But the good news is, is that I have been transferred to a better store, and the money flow has become much better, that and I plan to shoot for a Thursday update regardless of whether I've seen a movie or not. This will be spent to just generally discuss the goings on of Hollywood and the Movie Industry in general.

Now, I do have a review, and to be damned with bad movies, I'm not gonna let that hold me back when there are so many movies that have potential, finally coming out. I have already missed my chance to review Constantine and Sin City because I wanted to put a bad movie first. This day, I will review

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, now the Box Office numbers have yet to be released for today, so I have not yet gotten them to put here, but when I do get them I will post them.
*Edit: Numbers are in. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy made on opening night $8,100,000, totally destroying XXX2 by nearly double, and went on to make $21,707,000 to date for their opening weekend. Not too shabby.

The Guide is getting some pretty strong recognition as a good movie, but of course, there are the Book Fans that have instantly labeled it as a "Oh No." I've read the book more times than I can count, and love it entirely, but I am someone who understands that the adaptation from book to movie is shaky and there has to be differences. Its two forms of media. But I have this warning to anyone who walks in expecting an exact adaptation.... IT IS DIFFERENT. Way different, this is only as to put enough into it to make a movie, and smooth out the plot that stretches five books, into a nice two hour movie. The problem with the book is that it's short enough to fill about an hour, and ends on one major cliffhanger. Please don't expect to see the exact book on the screen. If you wanna see that, there's a very nice Mini-Series on DVD right now that does it well.

Moving on, the changes are far from bad. This movie was in production for a long while (more so preproduction for a while) and Douglas Adams himself wrote the screenplay before he passed away, these are all his ideas, and stay true to the Brit humor that all his fans love.

The movie starts on a Thursday, the worst Thursday ever in fact, in a small town in England, where we find Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman) an average man who is about to go on a very unaverage adventure. See Arthur happened to be friends with Ford Prefect (Mos Def) who is not an Earthling, but an alien man from a planet somewhere in the proximity of Betelgeuse. Arthur once saved Ford's life, so Ford repays the favor. The Earth is promptly destroyed. We follow Arthur and Ford, as well as Zaphod Beeblebrox (Sam Rockwell), Trillian (Zooey Deschanel), and Marvin the Paranoid Robot (Warwick Davis, Voiced by: Alan Rickman) as they travel the Galaxy in the stolen ship; The Heart of Gold.

As said before, the movie deviates from the book plot to fill in a gap, but otherwise stays amazingly true to the books with many exact quotes. The new material and the old flow seamlessly, giving the movie a feel of consistency throughout. The humor stays true to its British origins, giving quite a few Brit references, such one being "Leave this to me. I'm British, I know how to queue."
One of the greatest moves was of course Marvin, the Paranoid Robot. There is no man alive who could voice him better than Alan Rickman; his drulling English accent is pretty much to a T what I had when reading the books so long ago. His lines, straight out of the books and new to the screen, got some of the best responses. His stubby body and large head was what Douglas was quoted as saying he really wanted Marvin to look like, rather than the way he appeared in the Miniseries.

Overall the movie did really well in keeping Adam's legacy alive, and I would have to say, the only real problem I had was they never explained WHY the towel was important ;) But all the book readers should know that in advanced. I also notices, that alot of the movie seemed to have made the cut, as we see certain things in the Trailers, that don't appear in the movie. But that only makes good for DVD extras, and Director's Cuts.

8 out of 10 Go watch it, right now.

Expect a new post on Thursday, right now this sass frood needs to get some sleep.

Constant Watchings.

2005-02-10T02:43:00.002-05:00

Again, I apologize in the latency of updates. I was going to write my expectations of Elektra, but on the opening night, I heard so many "It Sucks" my heart fluttered and the inspiration died. I am also having a lot of trouble writing up my next two reviews, as they are very similar for one reason. I haven't decided to separate them in two posts, or make a double review... But they are coming, and one of the movies actually just came out!

But on to other news, and the real reason of this post. This has brought a rather BIG smile to my face, as it is one of my favorite Graphic Novels. I've also heard very good things about David Hayter, the writer, and how he has made the Screenplay as close to the Novel as humanly posable. This is an odd thing though, ad it was just the other day that me and my friend were discussing Constantine, and I mentioned that The Watchmen would be an awesome to film movie.

Constantine, coming a week this Friday. I have never read the Graphic Novel, though I heard VERY good things about it. This fact of course, may make my opinion of the movie slightly skewed from someone who has read it. But I really don't think that's the point of Comic/Book movies. I believe that, more so than to enthrall old fans with characters they know on the silver screen, the movies are made to draw in a new fanbase. How many people have read The Lord of the Ring since the movies. Before then I could honestly say I never saw the book on the shelf of my book store, but now, there are two racks reserved for the different styles of the book, and any other Tolkien story the stores can get a hold of.

But the book aside. I am actually looking forward to this. As I know of, this is really the first Graphic Novel to jump the big screen since the Comic Book Movie fad boomed in with X-Men. And Keanu Reeves defiantly looks like a good pick for this role, with his Action/Sci-fi background of the Matrix, he is no stranger to the philosophy of Religion, and the kick ass style of a warrior. This is a man who went from being a brainless Cali-Surfer in a time traveling Phone Booth, to being the savior of humanity in a world of virtual reality. The man defiantly has some skill.

So, High expectations for Constantine, ecstatic for more Watchmen info, and two new reviews coming soon.

IN OTHER NEWS!!! This is not a joke, Nick, again a bit behind in the ways of the world, have taken in the "Classics to DVD" trend, and is starting it's Rewind Collection with Clarissa Explains it All. I suggest anyone who wants to see the GOOD nick shows again buy this, so that they won't decide against releasing

Butterfly Nets

2005-01-12T07:40:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the whole not posting again thing, lately I haven't seen any movies on TV that have inspired a review from me... And my theater budget is little to none, so no new movies there either. But I have just watched a movie that has struck me in the brain, and the brain has a large part to do with this particular movie...

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

The Butterfly Effect. This movie was another that was rather harshly town by the critics, but still managed to pull in $57,650,876 total in the box offices, and stayed in the top ten for five straight weeks. Not too shabby if you think about it.

Now, you must realize that this is not a movie for the light hearted, this thing is dark, and for what seems to be for no reason than being dark. We have everything from Pedophilia, to Doggy cooking. If you could sum this movie up in one phrase, I would have to say it is a psychological Moshpit.

The movie is about Evan Treborn(Ashton Kutcher), who as a child had several blackouts during traumatic times of his life. Through a psychologists suggestion, Even has been keeping journals since he was seven to help with memory. Through reading these journals he learns he can go back, and actually change the events that happened during the blackouts... But when his change turns for the worst, Even is thrown in a never ending spiral downwards as he attempts to fix his mistakes, and only succeeds in making things ten times worse with every change...

This movie does great with what it aims at, psychological ware, and shock value. In every change we are subjected to another characters pain at the fault of Evan, every change we see something so outstanding, it makes us breath heavy as he changes again, and makes it so it never happened. This movie tugs at your heart, and your mind as it has no regard for the main character's well being as, they'll be changed in the next switch, so we see everything from murders, and prostitution, all the way up to psychosis and missing limbs. And every change seems to make it worse, as the strain on Evan's brain increases as more memories try to fill his brain.

This movie raises a lot of very interesting questions about the chain of events our actions create, and just how much our small off handed responses may effect another's life drastically, The Butterfly Effect and Chaos Theory in it's essence.

The movie falters slightly though, as it has some minor plot holes including the switches, one including the fact that he has someone else's memories flash by, for no reason better then the lack of narration to show it... The plot is also a little troubling to follow, if you're not ready to be deeply involved in the movie straight through...

So if you're looking for a movie where a guy magically gets the power to change the past, and continues to change it cause he just "can't get it right dang nabbit!" Then step away, if you're looking for a movie that treats you like an adult as we look into a world of sadistic minds and mental illness, then saddle up, this one's for you!

9 out of 10, if you're into the mental stuff, pick this up... I also suggest the Directors Cut, unfortunately I haven't seen it, but I heard it was much better then the Theatrical release...

For the future. I plan on somehow getting the cash to see White Noise, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and Elektra. Speaking of Elektra, expect a small paragraph coming soon of my expectations/hopes. I liked Dare Devil (Though I can admit that was a rather big flop) and I hope this one can impress...

X Marks the Spot!

2004-12-16T09:15:00.001-05:00

First meetings, and as all Firsts do, this shall probably suck. It's awkward, at this point you're probably reading through the Archives, as I most defiantly don't have any readers now, and I'm still trying to settle into a style... But what is this site? Well it's my little corner of the Internet reserved for my movie Reviews, as I need a place outside of my Online Journal to stick them.

But who am I you ask? I'm glad you asked...I am nothing more than a small town Joisee boy with a boredom problem, a lot of time on my hands, and considers myself to be somewhat of a Movie Buff. That and I also love to write, so these aspects eventually developed into an interest in Movie Critique(something of which I have no idea how to get into professionally) so I designed this spot to work out my style and ability as a reviewer. But enough with the Chit Chat, onto the first review! Which is...

NATIONAL TREASURE

National Treasure. It's been getting some pretty harsh reviews by Critics, mostly dealing with it's "ridiculous" plot, and the lack of any depth in said plot. Yet it still managed to pull in $35,142,554 opening weekend, stayed the #1 movie in America for three weeks straight, being beaten by only Blade: Trinity, and Oceans Twelve in the fourth week, and pulling in a grand total so far of $124,071,959. So it's obviously doing something right...
What you have to realize walking into National Treasure is, that it's a popcorn flick. It's an Action/Adventure movie, with aspects of Comedy, and Mystery/Drama. This is the type of movie you just need to shut your brain off for, and enjoy the pretty colors. And it does a damn fine job in that aspect.
The plot is pretty simple, as an action movie plot should be. But it builds up to a nice complexity, that it comes out really well in a story... Ben Franklin Gates(Nicholas Cage) has only one dream, to find the treasure that has labeled his family as Crazy, as for generations they have been searching for a treasure left behind by the forefathers, a treasure that had been building for centuries before that, said to be more then any one man could spend... Gates has finally found the clue he has been searching for... There's only one problem, it's hidden on the back of the declaration of Independence.
This movie really did well... It flowed nicely, keeping each and every clue both true to history, but fitting the complex puzzle set up before it. Every piece of the trail is something we've all learned about in history, The Declaration of Independence, the Liberty Bell, and so on. And the Acting is very good, as I was sitting in the most horrid theater I have ever had the privilege of occupying, I was constantly in the story, paying close attention, it really grabs you with the delivery...
Overall this movie was very good, and isn't getting the credit it deserves. Simply because it doesn't have a thick, complex plot, wonderful story crafting, and a nice moral or twist ending. Don't get me wrong, I love thought provoking movies, but every now and again we all have to unwind, and enjoy some mindless explosions, of which there are only a few. But this movie is still pulling through very well despite it's constant thrashing. So just go out, and enjoy it...
8 out of 10: Defiantly worth a theater viewing.

Now onto more business. This site may or may not be updated on a regular basis, and will probably contain more older movies than ones still in theater depending on my budget. It may also take a few days to a few weeks for certain movie reviews depending on my schedualing abilities... I am always taking suggestions, and donations as well. I know it may sound cheap asking for money, but a guy's gotta make a living. If you're interedted in making a donation just contact me. I'll have Donation info up on the site soon enough.
This site is also not Review limited, any movie related topic I feel like ranting about will most likely end up here, and maybe some stuff that has nothing to do with movies at all. Whatever my twisted mind feels like spewing onto the keyboard.